I'm in chains

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10 Comments

Hello everyone!

Thanks for taking the time to read this =D i really appreciate your suggestions/comments.

Well, from the title of this, it says 'I'm in Chains', you're all probably wondering what i mean by this huh? Well, i like this guy, we're in the same grade in senior high school now, i've known him for a long time, but it has only been this year that i've gotten to kow him. To me, he's probably the most approachable, down to earth, caring and sweet guy. (He's also musically talented!hahaha) but anyway, we got on so well and i could talk to him about anything whenever because he is such an amazing an approachable guy. I've liked him since late January of this year and it was not until August that i decided i wanted to tell him. (Btw, before this i did ask for some advice on whether or not i should tell him, and yes i did tell him.) I don't regret at all that i told him, but it has changed our friendship since he doesn't feel the same. He took it well and still talks to me but not as much. He's always the one getting me up when im down. He even tried to comfort me when i told him. Right now, i totally respect that he doesn't like me the way that i do, but i miss how close we were before and i'm not sure what i can do. We have days where we do talk and days where we don't at all, but the days that we do talk, it's awkward. I talked to him a couple times about how i feel about our friendship and i do see that he tries to talk to me normally, but then we just go back to the same thing. I feel like i have to wear a mask to hide how i really feel inside and that im being too selfish in just thinking about myself, how im not thinking how awkward he feels in our situation. Our friendship is something that we both agreed that we really want to keep. I want to get over him, but since i see him everyday, i have great nostalgia about the good old days. I know that we both know how awkward it is and we try to keep this friendship alive but there's always that gut feeling that its uncomfortable now. What should i do?

Thanks again guys!

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 44 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Telling a close friend that you are attracted to them and want more than friendship is a good way to chase them away. Now you have learned this and hopefully won't repeat it. STOP trying to tell him about you special feelings about him. Maybe even give him some space. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and when you get depressed about the good ole days don't talk to him about it. Talk to someone else like you're doing on here. Next time you crush on a guy friend remember you can't have your cake and eat it too. Don't smother him if you want to keep the friendship especially now that ya'll will be graduating soon.

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  • povich031
    13 years ago

    Personally I think you should tell him how you feel while you have his dick in your mouth! Guys like that! And trust me he will probably change his mind if you do a good job. Wake up! He's not into you so move on!!!!

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  • housecat
    14 years ago

    Forget about the past. Stay in the present moment. Stay out of your head, too. Do this and you'll be fine :)

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  • oskilover18
    15 years ago

    When I was in college a close friend of mine told me was in love with me. I didn't want to lose him as a friend, but I made things clear to him that I didn't feel the same way. It's really hard (if not impossible) to get over someone who you see all the time, and so I didn't call him for about a month or so. After that time, he called me and things went back to normal. He was over me and ended up dating other people, and we are still close friends to this day. I know it's harder to avoid someone in high school, but I would suggest taking a month or two off from him. Not calling or anything and distracting yourself. If this isn't possible till the summertime, do it then. Good luck.

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  • mkaidd
    15 years ago

    that's a really hard situation, and i'm sorry it didn't work out for you. are you open to meeting/dating new people? maybe if he sees you trying to move on, he won't think about the awkwardness between you two so much and maybe you could even try moving on.

    also, do you have other close friends? because i know firsthand that confiding in someone about a problem you have with THEM is not that helpful. if you can even make some new girl friends, maybe you can discuss it with them and they can introduce you to new people and all that.

    it's hard, but you can't go back. you can see if he'll move on with you, or you might have to go it alone. either way, best of luck!

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    • Powernoend
      15 years ago

      as long as you stay from him the good and great relationship it will be. After a week or two, go to him nicely and talk to him what the problem is and what can you do do solve it.

      this is the way it goes and i feel sorry about you.

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  • Rumpranger39
    15 years ago

    If you want to hold on to the friendship the keep the mask on. Try to behave just as you did before. Keep trying there is no reason you can't go back to the way things were. I'll bet you told him many private things about yourself when you were just friends and this is just another thing he knows. If it comes up in conversation just tell him that. He should be impressed that you trust him with that information. He must respect you otherwise he would have tried to use your feelings to get into your pants. He sounds like a stand up guy and as such worth the effort.

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  • pringlehopper
    15 years ago

    Well, first advice i can giv u is never take my advice, im a sophomore guy that hasn't really been through this so i can't pretend like im an expert on this.

    Well, this is pretty hard actually, you could try bringing up that you've noticed things have been getting pretty awkward since you told him then ask if there is anything you can do to go back to the way things were (He seems like a good friend, so I wuld not suggest cutting him off as I'm sure some people wuld suggest you do). Just try to resolve this awkwardness he might be a bit nervous around you now, because he knows for sure that you like him and he doesn't like you in that way and so he might get a little bit nervous or something. The only way you can know for sure is directly asking him about it.

    I wish I culd be more help but I don't really know enough to help you properly.

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    • mazelle3
      15 years ago

      hi thanks for the advice !
      i live on the otherside of the world so its all good that youre a sophomore guy! aaand im also willing to listen to all the advice i can get =D

      im still a bit unsure on what i can do though, i have been asking him about it, and he does try although it still ends up being awkward, like today, our friends were all talking in a group, and he did not say a word to me. He doesn't say hi when we walk past each other, i end up being the one doing so. People say that hes not the type of guy that would leave someone in the dark about these situations, although i feel like i am? maybe im being selfish. I cant seem to break the barrier, its already been 3 months since i told him, maybe he just doesn't know how to act around me, maybe because he doesn't want me to get the wrong impression that he likes me back.. yet i dont care that he doesnt like me back ..i just want our friendship back. How do you see it in a guys point of view?

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      • pringlehopper
        15 years ago

        well I would find it pretty awkward too for a while, but i think I'd be able to get over that, I think it could be that he doesn't know how to act around you really. I think he might want to still be your friend but he just finds it awkward because he doesn't want to say anything that could mean that he likes you like that but at the same time he wants to be friendly and that could make things seem a bit awkward for him thus making it awkward for you too.

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