I'm hooked on benzodiazepenes

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I was taking prescribed valium for anxiety related to a pretty scary seizure disorder; it helped me get to sleep at night. First it was one little pill, then two, and I capped it at three: 5 mg each. They're soo cheap at the pharmacy, and they made everything feel good, and they're legal. The doctor had no qualms about prescribing them. After about a year, I noticed they weren't working any more and knew what had happened (I'm not completely stupid). I'd developed tolerance to them! That's when I decided to end my little game and come off the stuff. I'm already cloudy from all the other anti-seizure medications I'm taking as it is. I figured I'd wean myself over three or four weeks. WRONG!! It turns out benzodiazepenes are just about one of the most addictive substances known to man. After about 2 weeks of reducing my dose by 1.25 mg a week, I already began to experience constant tremors and paranoid panic symptoms. Let me remind you: I STILL HAVE 12.5 MG TO GO!! At this rate, it'll take me 12 months to taper off these demonic pills if I don't snap and go crazy first. Anybody else out there have a horror story to tell about benzos? Luckily I have a few friends and family to help me get through this sudden hellfire. To anybody out there reading this: DO NOT take any kind of benzos EVER.

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Comments ( 17 )
  • PoliticiansDestroyJoy
    14 years ago

    I am currently taking Klonopin for anxiety "disorders" related to witnessing my best friend get stabbed in the neck and die right in front of me. I used to take Xanax, as prescribed, for years. Then I told my psychiatrist that I was going to admit myself to treatment for alcoholism. He immediately cut off my xanax and the following 2 weeks can only be described as hell on earth. My anxiety was so elevated that I was unable to sit down and read one sentence from a book. I would wake up at night sheets soaking wet. For days all i could do was pace and walk around the rehab facility for hours. It was the worst I have ever felt. My Dr knows that someone taking Xanax for over 10 years has to be titrated off of this medication. He took a huge gamble with my safety and the safety of those around me.....I just wish he could have been in my shoes and felt how i felt for 1 hour. Them maybe he would reconsider taking such a drastic course of action in the future. Xanax is a scary drug and i know I wont touch it again.

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  • randomjelly
    13 years ago

    Just read this story...wanted to say that I am proud of you! That's a tough situation and I wish you lots of luck.

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  • ls550
    14 years ago

    I've been on several different benzos for years and am currently on ativan. My current doctor is trying to wean me off of them and it sucks! In the last month I've gone from 3 mgs to 1.5 and I'm going crazy, constantly on edge and always just feeling unsatisfied and uncomfortable. I'm currently not working or going to school partly because of it which helps but it's a shit show i sympathize with you best of luck

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      Thanks - I feel for you too. I've been off this for awhile. I'm down to 10 mg from 15 mg, so 1/3 down, 2/3 to go. I don't feel quite as edgy now, but maybe I'm just getting used to it. The sense of jumpiness is always there. I rarely get the deep sensation of relaxation I used to. I have tried some natural substances like Tryptophan, which will calm the brain tremendously when taken in the afternoon. It almost feels like a beer.

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  • overweightdoomsayer
    13 years ago

    I have to agree with you .Benzos are the worst drugs ever.If you are having tremors,hallucinations ect,go to the ER ASAP! Then start tapering this shit otherwise you might end up dead when you run out of them.
    I've been through this horrible nightmare and this drugs needs to be taken off the market.For people that need it for seizures there are other medications that work as well as this miserable pills.Benzos are worse that heroin or meth.F*** benzos!

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  • jd420
    13 years ago

    Xanax or any other benzo shouldn't really be used for long periods of time. I recommend it for traumatic situations or for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) which is what I have. I took the medication for a few months as needed and it helped me get through the hardest part of my life after a horrible accident, I weaned myself off after a few months at the first sign of being dependent. I got terrible migraines the first couple of weeks after I stopped using them & landed myself in the hospital where they gave me a morphine drip. I never felt anything worse than not only being on edge from no taking benzo's but to have tge opiates rush through me was terrible. I freaked out, and left the hospital. Be careful!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      13 years ago

      God, that sounds horrible. Sorry but I just got a chance to read it. I can totally relate; problems with the brain can be utterly horrifying, and I'm not talking about psychosis; just plain panic/anxiety. I'm down to 9 mg of valium after over 3 months of slow withdrawal, and have learned not to go down faster than 1 mg increments every 3+ weeks...

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  • SweetAdeline
    14 years ago

    I took Ativan for years and years but weaned myself off them by first breaking them in half, then breaking the halves in half until now, the only time I take one, and then it's just a half, is when I keep waking up at night from anxiety (I will have a dream and I will suddenly wake up and actually jump up out of the bed). But you say that it's not working for you and I can't understand that, it has worked for others that I know. Are you sure that there isn't something else going on other than just the addiction? I didn't find doctors to be very helpful becauss they didn't really understand the addiction. I guess if you could find a doctor who had been addicted to something, he or she could help.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      Well, after 2 weeks and 3 days, I am beginning to feel somewhat normal after weaning myself off the first 2.5 mg of a 15 mg dose, but my ears are still ringing and I still have symptoms. I am no longer a nervous wreck, and will not attempt to come off this drug in 2.5 mg intervals again! I'll try a 1.25 mg reduction for 3 weeks at a time, meaning it will take at least 7.5 months to come off the present dosage IF there isn't an unexpected shock from withdrawal at lower doses (@5 mg mark or so). Powerful stuff, valium. I suggest nobody out there touch benzodiazepenes unless they're ready for 224 days straight of feeling like they haven't had a cigarette in 12 hours (I quit smoking 7 years ago, so I know the feeling of nicotine withdrawal).

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    i really don't know the answer to that. some of what you are feeling no doubt is the withdrawal of medication and not the problem itself. your doctor should be able to guide you so that it is a comfortable as possible.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      My neurologist refused to give me a withdrawal schedule, and referred me to a psychiatrist. I was like, screw that...

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    well, i hope you get the help you are looking for. of course, that's that old anxiety that is making you dread going out and having a panic attack, so the anxiety is still there.

    lay low, and don't get into social activities until you think you can manage them.

    if your doc doesn't call you, then make an appointment and tell him that you played around with the dosage and need help in regulating it, or maybe even getting rid of it. there's no point in keeping that part from your doctor, because he can't help if he doesn't know the whole story. good luck:)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      Thanks mtnw. I have a 'junkie' itch now that I'm down to 12.5mg from 15mg, with the worst of it right before the time of the dose. I'm going to get the doctor to prescribe me some 2.5 mg tablets that I can break in half and use to lower the dose stepwise in 1.25 mg increments. Once I get used to the nervousness, I'll probably not notice it. The one thing I'm worried about is when I reach critical levels, like 5 mg a day, and try to lower it from there. Will I hit a point where the withdrawal symptoms get 10 times worse? I'm really scared after seeing what just a 2 mg reduction can do...

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  • mtnw
    14 years ago

    a sib of mine had a similar experience.

    where is your doctor in all of this? what are they suggesting?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago

      He hasn't called back yet - he probably won't call back unless i call him again next Monday. He'll probably give me some kind of plan to come off them in 6-12 months. I'm still seeing how much a 2.5 mg reduction affects me and how long it lasts. I'm jumpy and don't need coffee. I am currently afraid I might have panic-like activity if I try to go out or function normally again. Hoping that won't be the case.

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  • sparrowfeed
    14 years ago

    why don't you try beer?

    alcohol is a benzo, too.

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  • omgalexalex
    14 years ago

    i had a codone problem but ive been off it for almost half a year now :) i still sell 512s to kids at school but i dont take them myself. at first i was taking my parents because they both have perscription, then i got perscibed because i broke a joint real bad. then i started buying it from a dealer.

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