I'm angry inside all the time. how do i fix it?
For the most part I seem like a calm easy going person but on the inside I hate so many people, I hate myself, and I hate many small things most people wouldn't notice. I am one of those people that seem all cool and nice. But I know I am one of those people that will take sh*t day in and day out and not say anything. Than one day I'll snap and shoot everyone in the room. I thought once I graduated it would help. And it did for a little while. But when life started going down the crapper again the hate came back again. I now feel angry most of the time. The only time I'm not is when I am hanging with my friends or writing a book no one will ever read.
I'll give you some examples. Once when I was sitting at my desk at work someone walked by and spilled my drink all over my lap when his bag hit my desk. He apologized and I acted like it was no big deal but inside I wanted to slam his freaking head on the table over and over till you couldn't recognize him anymore. Or how about the time in school when 3 kids were picking on me for something. I forgot what it was now. But I flipped out and tried to run one of their hands through the table saw. I was in shop class. The teacher stopped me. Later I made a map of the school and marked down the best place to stand and the time that the most people would be there and imagined myself gunning as many people down as I could. I also tend to envy serial killers.
So I ask you what is wrong with me and how do I fix it?