I'm a 19 year old closet gay and i have a crush on a 16 year old guy!

86% Normal
9 Comments

I think I have a crush on this straight guy. I love being around him and he caught my eye the first time I saw him. (today was only the second day I actually interacted with him though). He looks up to me and I feel great around him. I feel so perverted because he's cute and I daydream about him. I hide these thoughts and try to stay away from him but he's a coworker! Am I perverted and twisted?? I already can't accept myself for being gay, I don't want to be a pedophile!!! wtf is wrong with me?
*Also, please don't comment and say "what's wrong with being gay?" because I don't think it's wrong, I just hate being gay

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 42 votes (36 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • TerryVie
    11 years ago

    a.: you may hate it all you want, but if you are, you are. Better come to terms with it, otherwise you will not learn to enjoy it.
    b.: why would you be a pedophile? In most countries age of consent is between 14-16. Just because yours sets a higher limit does not make you a pedophile, it merely means you'd commit a local crime.
    c.: You ask "whats wrong with me", unfortunately, despite you not wanting to hear that, there's nothing wrong with you. Because there's nothing wrong with being gay and nothing wrong with having a crush on someone a few years younger/older.
    d.: I'm mostly a lesbian, and i also had crushes on straight co-workers. Happens. Straight people also have crushes on straight co-workers but it can't lead to something for diverse reasons(e.g. the target already being in a relationship).
    e.: Again, come to terms with yourself first, then try to come to terms with the situation. Cliche, but necessary.

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    • Couman
      11 years ago

      Why the heck was this downvoted? That was an outstanding answer.

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      • wonderwhy
        11 years ago

        "Just because yours sets a higher limit does not make you a pedophile, it merely means you'd commit a local crime"
        -I don't want to commit any crime...
        "Again, come to terms with yourself first, then try to come to terms with the situation"
        -I've tried to 'come to terms with myself' for years about being gay
        "There's nothing wrong with that"
        -Maybe this is just a difference in opinion, but of course there's something wrong with me!

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        • TerryVie
          11 years ago

          "Just because yours sets a higher limit does not make you a pedophile, it merely means you'd commit a local crime"
          -I don't want to commit any crime...

          Hence, local crime. Here in europe it would be perfectly legal in most countries. The important factor is that criminalization does not always make something "bad". Many laws are simply overprotective of ourselves, meaning that you do not have so see them as moralic standards you have to hold yourself to. I did not mean to try to tell you to break the law, just to get you to see that those laws are not absolutes, and in no way need to represent moral absolutes you are bound by.

          "There's nothing wrong with that"
          -Maybe this is just a difference in opinion, but of course there's something wrong with me!

          I switched those two around, for one simply reason: As long as you believe that there's something wrong with you, you have no chance to "come to terms with yourself". I agree that it's a difference in opinion, but opinions can change. Me(plus millions of other gay people) changing over to your view will only make everybody miserable. You switching over to our view will allow you to accept who you are. It's not that simple, of course, forming opinions, and even more, changing opinions, takes a long time and a certain boldness, but if you manage to realize that your outlook needs changing, you're halfway to feeling fine about yourself.

          "Again, come to terms with yourself first, then try to come to terms with the situation"
          -I've tried to 'come to terms with myself' for years about being gay

          But from what you wrote above, i can only read that as "i tried to accept the fact i'm gay while at the same time resenting it". You don't need to jump out of the closet and start acting differently, why would you? I kept the fact i'm into relationships with other girls secret from my family for a long time, and before that, secret from anybody else, because i was scared. But i used that time to come to terms with myself and accept that thats just how i work. I'm all a normal person, but romantically, i fall for a different gender than the majority of other girls. *shrug* Whats the big deal? I know that doesn't directly help you, but i'm just trying to tell you that if you manage to overcome this "hostile" view of "something being wrong" in regards to being gay, accepting yourself(aka coming to terms with yourself) will be so much easier...still taking time, but coming naturally.

          I am sorry if you feel that my contribution did not help you, but please take my word for it that it's honest advice and views from someone with hands-on experience.

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          • wonderwhy
            11 years ago

            Thanks for such a detailed response- Im glad you care about my question

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  • GunnerKing
    9 years ago

    Sick Homo

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  • TheGasManCometh
    11 years ago

    TerryVie is pretty spot on, but here are my two pennies anyway:

    1. You have a crush on someone, who happens to be younger than you (but not creepily so) - SO normal, it wouldn't be worth mentioning if not for...

    2. You are a "closet" gay, and hate the fact that you are gay - typical, yes (sad to say), but normal? No - it should never be seen as normal to hate something natural and unchangeable about yourself, and to live a life of deceit and self-loathing because of it. Get out of the closet first, and then find out if the feeling is mutual!

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    • wonderwhy
      11 years ago

      I'd rather not creep him out...besides, I wouldn't come out of the closet just for him.

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  • drogofwar
    11 years ago

    Go for him.

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