I love two people

I've known the same guy for years (15 or so) but we only met in rl 1s. We met on the oringinal sc and talk to this day. We made and make an awesome team online and made awesome times in rl (6 years ago for a 5 day trip). Ive loved him for ever but the issue is we live in diffent countries and can't/ won't move. He's been married ones since I've known him and I've been in two long term relationships including one im in now. Over the years we have talked multiple times about the love we have. Is it normal to keep a love like this even if it kills you a little every day but your equity happy with the man actually in your life?