I love to dress up in rain gear and i am scared to wear my yellow suit

I will say I am 45 and from birmingham West Midlands I will say I have always been strate but I have always .had a secret where I have loved rain coats and anoracks .this all started in 1985 when I went in my antys room and saw her peterstorm cagoule .in navy blue before 1985 I would not dear to put one on becurse i .thought pepole would find it amusing . I will say when I saw this cagoule I did put it on and it felt amazing where .it was an experance whitch I can not explain .the more times I went to my anty the more temped to put in on .it become to a stage where it made me feel special in my self when I had left school I remember going in to birmingam City center to millits to buy a Peter storm cagoule and rain pants . I wanted it to be a case where I would just go in and buy the size I wanted .but the middle age femail sales girl said let's dress you up in this .i thought please don't do this my heart was raceing .becurse there was a small attraction to this.whitch I am a little embarresd about .she said take your shoes off and let us put the rain pants on I remember her pulling the draw strings on the pants .and then she said lets put the cagoule on you. I felt I was trapped and she said lets do you up and she tied the bottom of the jacket and she proceded with pulling the hood over my head and doing the hood up for me .while she was doing this my heart just melted .she said go and look at your self in the mirror .i went to the mirror and tears where rolling down my face .i was very emotional .and she came over and said why are you crying .i remeber her wipeing the tears from my face .she said why are you upset .i said in feel so cute in this outfit.she said putting her arm round me you look amazing .i think it was the calm voice she had where she dressed me up.and spent time I never felt loved .i brought the items and I never forget the time when I was made to feel special .

Over the last 20 years I have always brought gore tex .but it is only resent ley where size.com where selling the cagoule the same 20 years on .this was a major production of the origanail cagoule where I after say I brought one of every type .i say when I go out wareing the gear .its the only time I feel relaxed .i never forget the time when I was kyacking with hannah .we where talking and we got to a part of a river where there was a 50 foot side .i said I can not do this hannah in her calm vioce said you can do it .there are times where .cirtain pepole say you will be fine . But I feel in there voice that they are holding my hand .they make me over come my fears . The one thing I have got now is I am still nervos is to go out .where I have no fear dressing up in my yellow rucka rain suit and yellow sowester hat. But I have to be honest my girl freind said you have to stop this shyness.

It was one sataday morning when she came to my house and the weather was foul .she said we are going for a 10 mile hike in the chase .she said I will get your ruck sack ready .not knowing what she was about to do .we got to the chase and she said we are going to work on this shyness. We whent to the back of the car .got our ruck sacks out. To find my greatest fear that she had packed .my yellow rain suit and rain hat .she looked at me and said I am going to dress the same .and we are going to walk where there are lots of other walkers .and we are going To deal with this fobia you have got.about being embarist in public .she said we are going to deal with this fear today .she said lets get our suits on and she had gone out and brought us both a pair of yellow hunters .she said come on where is your sowester hat .i said I will be happy with the hood . She said no no put it on i remeber her tieing the cord and tieing it up .she said with her hand on my cheeks .dont worry I will be with you .we put our ruck sacks on and proceded to hike .holding each other's hand .it some times takes some one with a careing attitude .to face your feers .