I love my best friend, we're both guys.

90% Normal
18 Comments

I'm a 20 year old guy who likes tough sports, likes doing exercises, like girls and other things, as stereotypes would support. I have a Best friend, and I just realize I actually love him. He is 21, has a girlfriend and likes too most of the things I like, we've got a lot in common. We spend a lot of time together, we know each other as the palm of our hands, it's important to say that this is a 7 years friendship, so we've been through a lot together. The "problem" is that lately, he has become a need in my daily life, what means that basically I can't be a day without him. He is always there for me, he cares about me, he always make me feel better when I'm sad and so am I. This is not supposed to be happening at all, and I can't helped, I have tried everything to not feel this way, but this feeling is stronger. I feel like my world is tearing apart. I can't do this to him, 'cause I know it will hurt him a lot. I need someone to advice me, please. I need to get rid of this feeling that is consuming my soul. It is funny, because a couple of months ago I prayed to God thanking him for making my friend appearing in my life, because he means a lot me, and I know I mean a lot to him. We have even said "I love you" to each other meaning every single letter of it (In a no-homo way), we've hugged each other, and the times that had happened I feel something incredible, and I just don't want to let him go. To conclude, he is not gay, and neither am I, well, at least that's what I thought, And I need this problem fixed, because otherwise, I' going to die inside of me. Is it normal to feel like this?
Please somebody help. ASAP!!!!!

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90% Normal
Based on 342 votes (308 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • ms_funion
    13 years ago | pl

    i think it's normal to feel a strong attachment to someone who means so much to u, even if it's someone of the same thing. it doesn't mean that you're gay, but then again, it could. maybe eventually you'll find a girl or some other person that you can direct your feelings too. but either way, I think it's great that you have such a great friend in your life :)

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    • unbelieveable123
      13 years ago

      thank you for trying to help me, it really means a lot to me.

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  • Lucas467
    6 years ago

    Dude, love is a blessing but it can feel like a curse and here's why: you care way too much about what other people think of you, to the point of being dishonest with yourself and others. You seem to think the world is black and white, right and wrong, etc. The world is not that easy. The label of 'gay' might not fit you, but you might be bisexual or fluid and not realize it. People fall in love with other people and sexual orientation sometimes goes out the window. You have some choices to make. You can live your life the way you think other people will approve of, or you can live your life the way you need to live your life to be a real, honest and self-aware man. You can be bisexual or gay or fluid or whtever and still be a good role model to others. It seems to me your BFF is having the same issues. Do yourself a favor. Call him and tell him that you care about him very much and try to have a nice conversation with him. Try to be honest as you can without giving away your deepest feelings. Ask him how he feels about you. The Christianity thing seems like a cop-out to me. There are plenty of good, gay Christians. If you all attend a religion that judges, condemns and hates others, well, you need to find a new church. In the end, a man is honest about himself and his emotions. You will regret being dishonest as the years pass. Life is short and love is a beautiful thing. Your love for your BFF is a good thing and it may or may not end in a gay-type of deal, but friends are honest with each other. Be wise and don't scare him by throwing all your deepest emotions at him all at once, maybe just start with a 'you are a very important person in my life, and I miss you very much'.

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  • jasonkirk
    9 years ago

    yes its normal happens to all of us you can love a guy it doesn't make you gay your a human you care you have a platonic friendship even if something develops in the future so what? lots of guys these days are bisexuals rest assured you and your buddy enjoy life
    cheers :D

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  • mrfairfax
    10 years ago

    This is the most normal thing in the world.

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  • summersadness
    11 years ago

    shitt !! you must be hot !! ohhh how a wast ...why you don't like girls !! your friend must be lucky to have a friend like you

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  • AssBurgers
    11 years ago

    Bromance.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Maybe it's just one of those "bromances," where two straight guys have a really close and affectionate relationship. I think that's pretty normal, although it's not something every two pair of guys does.

    And dude, I WISH I were you. The few guy friends I have are so distant with me (and with one another) that I wonder if we're really friends.

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  • myusernameis
    13 years ago

    Maybe you're bisexual. There's a fine line between loving your friends and being IN love with them, though.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    i feel it is completly normal, theres is no problem with the way you are feeling about hi, i am going though a similar problem as you, dont be afraid to feel this way, a long bond can turn into thoses feelings, adjust to it, just wait for a verrrryyyy conforting moment to let him understand

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    • unbelieveable123
      13 years ago

      Ooh, hell no!... that would be something terrifying! I could not do it! and I bet you, he would understand despite a lot of things, but things will definitively change. you know, I have tried to ruin the friendship several times, so I can get away and not se him too much, but he won't let, he always figure everything out and solves everything up, no matter how twisted i make the situation. But the thing is, that he doesn't want me to let me go at all, I have seen so. thats some crazy S... right?

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      • incurablebaman
        13 years ago

        I know what your going through

        I have recently found out that I am bi. It was never something I imagined admitting in reality, but I can't hold it or hide it anymore.
        I come from a family and culture that condemns things such as homosexuality, but it's not my choice as I'm sure it's not yours to feel this way. In fact, at many times it is unwanted.

        I'm a sophomore in college and for the past two years I have been hangin out with my best friend who's amazing. We have done everything together. However, for about a month now he's been hangin with this really cool girl, and even though I'm really happy for him, I can't stop feeling terrible - most likely because I'm jealous

        I didn't think I had a crush on him, but I've now accepted the fact that I do. But exactly WHAT to do is still an issue! I can't confront him. Nothing positive will come of it. He may understand, but things WILL be different between us and for the worse.

        The biggest part is that I recently told him I was bi. This guy is really philosophical and understanding and we are still best friends.

        Don't lie to yourself about being bi. You know whether you are or you aren't by the age of 20, so if you are, maybe you should let him know.

        Granted, it's a Hell of a situation, so don't take it all in at once, and tell me how your getting through this!

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        • unbelieveable123
          13 years ago

          ok this is gonna be funny, recently my dear BF converted to christianity, a thing that kind of surprises me, not because of the fact that we would become a christian in the hole extension of the word, due to I'm a believer too, but because I found some little details that let me assume he was feeling that affection as I. Well, not affection per se, 'cause we love kind of have that brother love for each other, but he was feeling attracted to me; and you guys can tell when that is going on. I was analyzing the situation, and he might have seen the conversion as a gateway of the fact that likes me jajajajaja. The problem here is, that he was changing towards me as the days went by. But not in a positive way as you would expect. he was trying to evade me little by little, doing things like to make me go away from him, very subtle, cause he would be coward as hell to talk to me, and put things clear you know! so since I'm a smart ass mo'foka :) I realize what was happening, and got really upset and told through facebook, that wished him the best but to never lok for me and talk to me again. that was like three weeks ago.

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          • unbelieveable123
            13 years ago

            And basically we are no longer friends. I feel like shit you know, because I miss him so much. But I hope he is feeling even worst, because I'm being deployed to Iraq in november (his birthdate month) and how would you feel if you best best best friend in earth is going to war and you are doing shitty stuff to break up that friendship, because he is so concern of why people may think, that has complete buried his true feelings.... awkarrrd My wishes are that at least he can't get no sleep at night thinking about what he've done. :) Im bad!

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    you are gay. we all love our friends, but we r not in love with them.

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    • unbelieveable123
      13 years ago

      Ok, but to be gay, is not an option for me: because first of all, serving in the military, then because of my male chauvinist dad, and after that, I'm a role model to my brothers and sisters and other people, and definetively I do not want to dissappoint them! ;(

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      • BoredGuy
        13 years ago

        What can i say, have ever been in love with a girl before? Maybe if you have you can focus on doing that again :)

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        • unbelieveable123
          13 years ago

          yes I have, and I'd better focus on that again. Actually, I has a girlfriend like three or four months ago, but we broke up, 'cause I felt there was not passion and stuff, you know!

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