I lost all hope that i will ever get over social anxiety

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I’m not gonna go into too much detail how much I’ve struggled with social anxiety especially dealing with it alone ever since I was very little. I have so many regrets. I feel like I would have enjoyed my childhood and highschool if I wasn’t this way. But anyways, I got a job that didn’t give me a choice but to interact with people and after a year, I finally was able to hold conversations without stuttering and sweating so much and not hiding from people as if they were out to get me. I finally felt...normal. I decided to quit and go back to school after a few years and I went back to my old socially anxious self again. Whenever I try to make conversations and make friends, I would play social interactions I had in my head on repeat at the end of the day and stress out over them. I always have this overwhelming feeling of disappointment in myself and feeling pathetic after every conversation. Idk what to do. I don’t want to see a therapist as my family might find out and I didn’t want to be on medications either. But I dont wanna close off completely like I did in grade school and high school but I also feel like someday Im gonna regret giving up again. Is there someone who dealt with this before? I need advice because I’m so sick of being the way I am. Thank you

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Comments ( 9 )
  • ellnell
    3 years ago

    It is very hard to get over. CBT didnt help for me, challenging myself a lot hasn't helped, if anything withdrawing for a while helps as it makes even I crave socializing so the next time I have to im less focused on how scary it is and more on finally being around people again. Cant say that lasts long though. I know CBT has been very helpful for others though and it depends a lot on the therapist and their technique. Personally i'd like group social practice and had just started it before covid19 put an end to that course... I think thats really good because everyone's just as anxious and you understand each other.

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  • CountessDouche
    3 years ago

    So the therapeutic key to phobias or anxieties like this (anxieties that are related to a very specific thing) is mild, gentle exposure therapy. Pandemic is actually the absolute perfect time for this because people are more distant, so you can keep interactions very brief and low key.

    Start with going outside- walk around the block. Do that every day for a week. You'll feel better already

    Then challenge yourself to say hello to everyone you see. Just a quick good morning & then speed walk the fuck out of there- totally not socially awkward in a pandemic btw, I've had tons of people do this to me

    Then challenge yourself to start a conversation. Any conversation even if short
    Just keep it simple "awww your dog is so cute!! Is it a German Shepard?"

    Etc etc. It will legitimately diminish your anxiety to a great degree, but it involves challenging yourself. Just take one teeny step forward every day.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Buy a bicycle and go out biking, that should help.

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    • RoseIsabella
      3 years ago

      I miss having a bicycle.

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      • [Old Memory]
        3 years ago

        buy it again?

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        • RoseIsabella
          3 years ago

          Yeah, I just have to save the money, and go shopping.

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  • anabnormal_guy
    2 years ago

    [[ I don’t want to see a therapist as my family might find out and I didn’t want to be on medications either]]

    about therapist (I have also felt like the same way)

    Try meditation it will help you control your feelings

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  • noid
    3 years ago

    I found Zoloft helpful, also Effexor XR.

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    • [Old Memory]
      3 years ago

      First time someone besides me recommended antidepressants.

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