I live off my mom and dad and i'm 26

35% Normal

i don't want to but i was never raised to become independent.

not even me but my brother's and sister's.

my mom try so hard to raise us alone and my dad had missed up are lives so much.

my dad would get alot of money and give my mom some and use most of it on drug's like crack and stuff.

not only that but in the most important part of are life's are teens none of them was there for us in a loveing way.

i told my mom i wanted to die and she just said nothing.

me and my brother has always never got alone and always fight at a young age like 5 untill we got in are late teens we stop fighting and mostly we stop talking and yet living in the same house.

we all had to deal with emotional abuse from each other are the family are other people in the world.

now i live with my dad he's no emotional help at all.

i was tough nothing in stade every thing i did do i was emotionaly abused for it at lease that's how i felt about it.

my whole life is so horrible i reject everything good in my life.

its hard for me to be happy in fact i'm scared to be happy.

i was diagnosis with schizophrenia but really i don't think i have it.

i think so low of my self now, i'm 25 i mite as well die i had no girlfriend no job no education no car not my own place i had nothing in my life and i want this bad but to scared to get it.

i dont want to live like this,i still act like a kid cause of my past its like its engrave into my mind like a grave stone i cant get red of it and it last there for a long time.

now i think my only brother is doing crack he has a kid and put a gun in his baby mama mouth.

my sister left the family.

my other sister is living here and causeing hell on and off.

my other sister is actual living a good life the best she can.

i remember a guy said to me if you where my son ill kill my self cause you suck at life

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35% Normal

Based on 34 votes (12 yes)

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Comments ( 41 )

NeuroNeptunian

9 years ago

Dude, you're definitely mentally ill. I can tell just from the way you write.

You were probably diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. Schizophrenia, I believe, affects about 1% of the population in the US.

Go to a doctor. Schizophrenia can be treated and you can live a normal life.

Go back to school. Go on Google and look up "adult education centers" in your area and call them. They often have resources that can help you get back on track.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  dont make fun of me my family been doing that for years calling me retarted and stupid and idiot even in public to people that dont make me feel better it make me worse and i dont like it dang.
  
  even if i am mentally ill that doest mean i should be treated badly to the point it bring me even more down,geez.sometimes i think thos who abuse mentally people are even mentally ill them self.
  
  besides i know i am bad at writing and reading but i was in special school most my life and they did't though me how to write are read even spell good.
  
  u know the things people tell me, just kill your self.you cant even read.your retarted.that hurts and i dont deserve it.
  
  if anything thos people are sick as hell even more sick them me.
  
  at lease i know how to care for others.
  
  besides when i wrote it i did't gave it my best best
  
  FUCKER
  
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  - charli.m
    
    9 years ago
    
    She wasn't saying you were retarded. She wasn't attacking you in any way. She has probably given you the best advice of anyone on this post.
    
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    9 years ago
    
    You're proving my point. This is how a paranoid schizophrenic would act as a response to perceived criticism. I didn't say anything about your family or intelligence yet you reacted to it. Read over it and you'll get my point. Schizophrenia affects everything you do.
    
    I used to work with the special needs, I'm not insensitive to disabling mental illness. Schizophrenia can be treated and with medication and regular therapy, you can live a normal life.
    
    As of now, you lack the education and people skills to be able to be independent and it's not going to get better until you see a doctor and get into contact with an adult education center.
    
    If left untreated, you will only get worse. In the event that your family decides to kick you out, you will be homeless and have less than you do now.
    
    I will say this one last time. You are mentally ill. Take advantage of the resources at your disposal.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      i know you was't trying to attack me you was trying to help me but then the word mentally ill got to me i over reacted sorry for that.
      
      but i did knew u was trying to help.
      
      you right in everything you said.
      
      in fact i'm trying to leave where i am.
      
      if i do get kick out and become homeless i think i'ma feel better in a way that i don't have to deal with them.i mean it been going on for year and leaving with them is not getting better for me anyway so really i'm not loseing much just resources, but then i'm planing thing's for my self i have plan's with resources so im'a be ok with water and a bed and cloth's.
      
      i can go to walmart and get a tent and bed and stuff that i need and i get food stamps and i'm waiting for my ssi disablity i got to go to court in september so i'm hopeing that work's well.
      
      i am planing thing's tho.
      
      but it wont do me any good i mite try to kill my self again lol and i don't wanna die.
      
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      - NeuroNeptunian
        
        9 years ago
        
        Well, I wouldn't wait that long. If you have a community college in your area, fafsa.gov can help you pay for a college education and at school, you will likely have no problem getting in touch with people who can help you.
        
        Whatever you feel is best, you do, but do it while you're not having to worry about where you will be sleeping tonight and good luck!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        thanks.
        
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- Outsider21
  
  9 years ago
  
  What do you mean by the way he writes. yeah, i agree it sounds like OP is going through a very difficult time but this post does not sound like something a true schizophrenic would write. OP is speaking about some very difficult problems in his life in a coherent and logical fashion and inquiring on IIN if his experiences are "normal". Well, they're definitely not, but it sounds like the problem lies more with the OP's circumstances and not the OP himself. Whether or not the OP actually has schizophrenia, I can't say but incorrect diagnoses do happen for various reasons and this writing does not look like something a schizophrenic person would write. It looks like somebody going through a hard time, but it certainly does not look delusional.
  
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  - NeuroNeptunian
    
    9 years ago
    
    It's disorganized, the symptoms he says he has are consistent and his reactions are too. If he is getting SSI then the diagnosis would have to have some merit. If not then him seeing a doctor will clear it up.
    
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Tommythecat.

9 years ago

Schizophrenics often have this problem.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  what do you mean this would help me alot of you can explan .cause i'm trying to understand schizophrenia even more.
  
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  - Tommythecat.
    
    9 years ago
    
    I dont know that much about it, you should just read up on it. Schizophrenics often can't hold down jobs or live on their own due to their very disorganized thinking. They tend to confuse many basic things and it causes them difficulty in day to day functioning. Most serious schizophrenics are unemployed life long.
    
    Though in some cultures they are often considered holy and in touch with some greater reality. I've met schizophrenics who could read minds and see things that everyone misses. I think of them as people who live between two worlds, this one and whatever lies beyond.
    
    Your situation is not uncommon at all for a schizophrenic though.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      OK FRIST OF ALL SORRY FOR ALL THE WRITING/TYPEING.
      
      how common is schizophrenia in your perspective is it a lot more common then pepople think like depression are over weight people are even drug addic's
      
      so you saying i really have schizophrenia.
      
      i never meet another person with schizophrenia.
      
      i was diagnosis with it in 09 and then i stop going to the dotor's a year later i was thinking about what they was saying so i did research and figure out alot i learn sounded like me.
      
      i use to hear voice's in my teen's not anymore tho.
      
      and when i get paranoid i start to imagine things.
      
      it use to be worse when i was younger i use to paranoid to the point that i ran out the house not no more tho.
      
      like i keep the light on and the tv on when i'm alone in the house to destract my thinking.
      
      and i find it hard to be happy i even hurt my self and reject thing's that bring me progress.
      
      i don't do things that make me happy are could make me happy, but i guess this is where the disorganized thinking have to do with it.
      
      like when i do something that make's me happy i feel good but only for that day.
      
      like i was gonna get a computer for free i was happy and hope no one got it and when i got there it was gone i was then not happy cause i was gonna fix it and sell it is this normal.
      
      i think im not happy cause i dont do good things and i mite not do good things cause my disorganized thinking and feeling, are cause my lazyness.but then i think it could be both.
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        9 years ago
        
        My heart goes out to you!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        thank you.
        
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      - Outsider21
        
        9 years ago
        
        If you do have it, it's a minor case for sure. Of course, a doctor would know more than me, but you don't sound all that seriously far gone given the circumstances that it sounds like you dealt with
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        what do you mean? can you explan even more this would really help me alot.
        
        thank you.
        
        oh and whats the worse cases you seen.
        
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      - Tommythecat.
        
        9 years ago
        
        The only person who can tell if you're schizophrenic is a doctor.
        
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dasugaknows

9 years ago

I know somebody who has schizophrenia and he writes the same as you do. People in his family would tease him about it when he wrote on facebook and i would always find that to be mean. The thing is, this guy is not stupid in any way, actually he is very smart, its just that schizophrenics have a hard time organizing their thoughts when they write. The person i know is older than you too and living with his parents with no job until recently. He gets assistance from the govt and his own apartment and has come a long way since. He probably will never be able to hold a normal job, but he is learning to be independent. The first step is you need to see a doctor. There are other government assisted programs to help people with your problem become independent. Good luck to you and i am rooting for you to get the help you need.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  oh wow thank you so much i would love to ask you a few question's please.
  
  and sorry it took me soooo long to write back.
  
  how old is this guy.
  
  and in your experance how do you relate him from his family i mean whats the different's you see you say he smart but his family pic on him whos the better one in all this.
  
  well to me it's like i been through so much nagativity and had not much any true positive experance in my life to make up for all that so my mind have a lot of regret and everything pain sorry and its running like a train.
  
  even now today i still have problems doing good thing's for myself like talking to a female i like are.......well to make it easy i'm not taking care of my feelings and though's and its hard cause they running around everywhere so i kinda gave up.
  
  i know what i think and belive is wrong like i want a girlfriend but i dont want one cause i think ima be hurt also with friends are just anyone and this happens cause of me being hurt from my family over the most littlest things like spilling milk and cause of this i over react over the littlest things in my life.
  
  and i know i can't compare new people from old people but the feelings is just to much for me that i'm scared to express my self.
  
  i been going through life just being told what to do are being insulted.
  
  really i just gave up on life.
  
  the biggest regret i have is thinking about others b4 my self.
  
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  - dasugaknows
    
    9 years ago
    
    He is 31. I think his brothers kind of did pick on him but only because it's hard to recognize that it's his mental illness that makes him act the way he does sometimes or do the things he does sometimes. For example, he would pawn his mother's jewelry or anything else that he thought had value even thought it wasn't his. He constantly throws temper tantrums and destroys stuff around the house too. He is very messy and does not know how to do his own laundry or even clean up after himself.
    
    Truthfully, i think that most of that bad behavior happened whenever he would decide to stop taking his meds because he thought he didn't need them anymore. If there is one thing I could tell you it's take your meds as ordered by your doctor no matter what. Because whenever he would be doing well, he would stop his meds and then everything would go to sh*t.
    
    As far as the issue with women, he went a very long time without a girlfriend, probably more than 10 years. For whatever reason, the past 2 years, he had 2 different girlfriends and one of them is serious now supposedly.
    
    It is nice to see him somewhat finally getting his life on track even without a job. He's got an apartment and a girlfriend now, which is more than i ever seen him accomplish and I been in the picture 7 years now. I have never had any personal problems with him but my brother in law's wife does all the time (shes only been in the picture for like 3 years including dating) she will always find a way to start something with him and she even started with me, so we tend to steer clear of her. Other than that, i think its only a matter of the family needs to understand that sometimes the things you do is because of the illness.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      its kinda different with me like i can clean for my self and wash my own cloth's and stuff but i have not had a girlfriend are sex for years like 3 years and trully i never had a girlfriend that i really liked alot. and when i do get a girlfriend i be scared to tell other's that i'm not scared to be alone and people know it but i am scared to have a girlfriend and people knowing it.
      
      like the last girlfriend i had in 5 years was 2 and both of them i try to keep them a secret among my family but not my nephew.
      
      i wish my family help me with getting a girlfriend are getting a job are getting help.
      
      biggest regret i have is my sex life i gave up so many beautiful women so much good sex its not like i dont want them and its not like i dont want sex in fact its killing me. its just i think ima get judged wrongly and besides my emotions are to sensitive i got to fix on that myself.
      
      its sad cause i have 1 bro and 3 sister's and none teach me about women and sex only one my young sister but that did't turn out well only cause wat she was teaching me was sick to me.
      
      i hate my family so much sooooooooooo much.
      
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      - dasugaknows
        
        9 years ago
        
        You should probably see a doctor and find out what medication is right for you. Once you find a medication that works, you go with that. Also continue to seek help with the housing and all of that. The first step to getting your life on track is find a doctor and be put on meds.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        i keep being told that but i'm scared to see a doctor.
        
        is this normal have your friend been scared also to see a doctor
        
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britionn

9 years ago

Just get a job and all the troubles that you get from others will end. People hate someone who is dependent on them.

Those who are not diagnosed with schizophrenia also behave like schizophrenics. No one is 100% normal in this world.

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sour.sweet.gone

9 years ago

Im sorry for what is going on, I think if you try hard you can live an awesome life, you can seek help for the schizophrenia and after that just try hard and focus on msking your life the way you want.

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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Sounds like your family life isn't too good.

I recommend leaving even if you don't know what to do. You're definitely not going to get anywhere in life living with them. It sounds like your family will hold you back as long as you allow them to. Try getting a job or on disability so you can leave.

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KeepsakeDoll

9 years ago

Probably suffering from depression due to your baggage. I also recommend finding a job near you - some place in walking distance. Also, did you finish high school at least? You said you had no education, but I don't know if that pertains to college or schooling in general..

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  it's school in general i drop out at 10(yea i know silly)
  
  and i'm scared to get a job, why, i honestly i dont know why i been thinking about it.
  
  i remember sense i was 15 i was thinking about getting my frist job and the though left me scared, i feel like im'a be judged why i feel this way i dont understand it my self cause getting a job is a good thing.
  
  i had a temp job b4 and i was critisize it was horrible.
  
  im scared someone gonna find out my fear and use it agenst me and that's what usually happen's.
  
  going to see a doctor to get help get me shacking.
  
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Avant-Garde

9 years ago

See a therapist.

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seakelp

9 years ago

Ok, guy, first off you need to get a job. Keep applying to whatever service positions are available until you get one. Idleness can be one of the most damaging things that can happen to someone in your headspace. Start saving up and plan for an education. Use your money to get into some sort of job program at a local community college. You can get out of this situation, OP. It'll be hard, but the important thing is not to get down on yourself. In some situations, self-loathing can be a terrific motivator. THIS IS NOT ONE OF THOSE SITUATIONS. Start in on the job search and don't let yourself get discouraged.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  thank's.but i really dont have any education and most job's you need a ged are high school deploma.
  
  i checked.
  
  there's so much more i want to add but it would take up so much space and it would be to long.
  
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mountain-man82

9 years ago

Honestly I didnt read this whole post because it was written so poorly. From what i did read, you should see a therapist to get over your family issues and become independant.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  yeah i do agree with everything you said.and you right it was poorly done i dont know how to write that good, but thanks for not critisizing me about it are judgeing me.
  
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Are You Normal?

I live off my mom and dad and i'm 26