I like my cousin but i dont want to kiss or have sex with him
so me and my cousin are really close. when we were younger me and him used to be best friends and we used to play games and i don't even remember really. so over the years we got a little distanced and i think that its because we kinda realized our feelings and a couple of years ago we kissed but afterwards i felt ashamed and disgusted. but every time i see him i just want him to put his arms around me and kiss me but then i cringe because it feels disgusting. I've have many dreams of us doing sex but when i wake up i feel like trowing up. is it normal?