I like being like this

33% Normal
9 Comments

Hi! I have MPD.... I have two version of myself. Sometimes I can be very evil and want to kill everyone around me or shoot people with gun and do other evil thing. But sometimes I can be very kind like I almost crying when I saw people abusing or threatening other people. I didn't regret it, I like myself being like this. Its so comfortable to me.... So does anyone have the same thing as me?

Voting Results
33% Normal
Based on 6 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I do, exactly the same thing. The result of a horrible childhood. The my true identity is the good one, but sometimes the evil one can take control over me.

    I realized that when I am left alone to mind my own business, I am a good person, so I decided to stick with my true identity rather than this one, which is only stimulated by pain or memories and strongly related to the past. I read some history and realized that people have been always suffering from similar mental conditions and were manipulated into being evil by the society. Some try to take revenge, but it doesn't solve the problem, it can sometimes do worse instead.

    Still working on my mental balance, but definitely the right direction is to avoid letting the "dark side" taking over, since it clearly engenders more damage. I would suggest trying different methods to see which ones work best. You might like therapy, or meditation or books for personal development. Or you might feel like life achievements keep your mind healthier and stronger. Or a social circle that you enjoy staying in. For me, keeping myself busy studying and working is what truly helps me. Push yourself in another direction to make a big change in your life. This will determine you to be busy mentally and to shift to another stage of life, so you deteriorate the roots of evilness by replacing them with brand new life adventures, such as new jobs, qualifications, sports, etc. Wish you the best.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      You're like me.... Maybe I have a dark side because I have been bullied in primary school and remember my past triggered my dark side.... I have a very very horrible childhood especially in primary school.... Thats make me want to destroy this world! But I'm a very kind person, you're good to me I'm good to you : )

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        These feelings are triggered by specific stimuli. That is not your initial, usual state of mind. It is a response of yours in certain situations. This means that your inner personality is the "good" one, while these internal swings do not define you. So there you have your answer. The "evil side" is actually a deviation from normality, from your own standard. Now that you have this information, you can start preparing yourself psychologically for confronting the foreign attitude that does not represent you, but keeps invading you, in order to protect yourself. Find ways to control yourself and resist to these invasions. Many people suffer from these, so we have developed lots of possible solutions.

        You must know that these feelings are temporary and consume a lot of energy, since they do not belong to you. You may feel tired after thinking in that way for too long. This means that you cannot live this way and you cannot permanently switch to the "dark side", since it literally drains you of energy and soon enough you will return to the inital state. If you want to select one and stick with it as much as possible for a stronger sense of identity and a peaceful state of mind, your only realistic option is the "good side", since this does not consume energy and does not depend on limited resources. I also suggest you the same. You will need the energy for better things which bring you more benefits, and you will notice that this energy starts being consumed as soon as the switch is triggered. For more achievements and a happier life, I recommend sticking with this one. Also people around you will suffer from this if you do not learn how to control it, and soon enough it can lead to disaster. There are lots of people out there making bad and irreversible decisions and regretting them. It also "feeds" the "dark side" and you have less control over it. Shortly, don't let it take over. It damages you.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          5 years ago

          Thanks for your opinion... You're like an expert sir!

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  • CRStr
    5 years ago

    I have something similar I think I'm alot more dissociative with myself. Almost a split personality. Dr Jeckyll Mr. Hyde type of deal. Like I little snap and trigger 2 an entire different personality. Every time I switch I always wonder y i went back 2 acting like the other. Never ending game of faces.

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  • MsWho
    5 years ago

    Reminds me of the Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I have the same thing going on. I have three different sides. One side of me is like a humanitarian and animal lover. That side is responsible for my feminism and obsession with dogs, foxes, and wolves. The other side is completely blank, it doesn’t feel anything or respond to anything. The other is angry, it makes me want to kill people and kill myself and has made me kill birds before.

    But I don’t really enjoy it. For me it’s just terrifying and confusing and causes lots of pain.
    I agree with DDaviDD. Just try to keep yourself busy and preoccupied with things you like, then it’s less likely to take over.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      Wow, there are many side of you, but you are very normal

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      • [Old Memory]
        5 years ago

        Lol, I wish I was more normal. Thank you though :) I hope you can manage to get threw this.

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