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It seems like I enjoy being depressed. I like to take sad photos of myself, usually in black & white. I find my best photos are when I'm depressed. I like that look on me. Is this normal?
P.S. I have depression, so I guess I'm used to feeling depressed a lot.
Yes...I know. It's like I don't want to be happy. I want to stay in my dark little hole of emotion. Ypu want to be depressed because you feel it's all you know. Can't trust people. People hurt you...
I've somewhat felt this way for a long time now. I've been seeing a psychologist for it too and she says that when I look forward to laying in bed all day and crying, it's because once you are put into a depression, a lot of times you start to feel it's like a safe zone for you. You get used to it and it becomes your new comfort zone. One thing you could try is to not allow yourself to be so indulgent or tempted by the things that you know are sad or depressing activities, like listening to sad music in the dark or sleeping all day, or even taking sad pictures of yourself. She always tells me to fake it till I make it, in other words, keep telling yourself that you're happy and surround yourself with positive people and things and you should start to feel a little better about yourself. The most important thing is to be aware of what you're doing to yourself when it happens or even before when you're thinking about it, and be self aware enough to say no and do the healthy, positive thing for yourself. I hope this helps youu. :)
As a person who has struggled with depression on and off for the past 6 years, I get it. I get where you're coming from. Even though you feel like sh!t, sometimes it feels "good" to be depressed - not in the sense of feeling good as in happy, but content. It's just easier to be depressed. You have an excuse not to go places, see people, do things, or have to worry about trying to function normally. I do believe that once you dig yourself out of that hole (as I've metaphorically referred to it all these years), you'll find that there are other feelings that are a lot more enjoyable than depression.
i have been depressed for about 4 years now. i know how u feel. i like pain and the feeling of nothingness and lonliness, but it still hurts me. i guess im just screwed up. who knows. i wanna die and give in, but im afriad. i want to be happy but im afriad of that too. and the worst part is fear feeds me to further my pain and depression, so ya basically im insane, in pain, and ok with it.
I can honestlly see where you are coming from. Now me individually am not depressed, but I am easily depressed, but normally bounce back pretty quickly. But anyway, I know what you mean, I absolutely love depressing things, such as music, photos, stories, shows pretty much anything that deals with pain. Call me crazy I'm also kind of facinated from suicidal things. Once more I'm not depressed but have been, so I guess that's how I came to like it all. But really, it can be a picture of a girl crying and I'll be instantly hooked. So, I would say it's normal because I just simply like depressing, sad, and what some people would call "emo" stuff(IM NOT EMO) so I hope this helps.
P.s KT that sounds just like bipolar hun.. You might want to get that looked at.. Medication can help immensly.
I dont think youd call it normal or common,but ifeel like this.I just want to feel either too things.Real happy and hyper or derpressed and crazy.IT happens a lot and i get so tired of the content feeling.
I am bipolar and some days I can't even get out of bed. I find it quite debilitating but what I love is the assurance that I am alive. Some people will never even scrape below their surface but we get to go right down into the abyss. All these intense emotions running through our bodies is a blessing. Work with it not against it. You're alive. How marvelous is that!!!
From my own experience, I hate feeling depressed less than I hate feeling nothing. Like your not sad but your not happy either. Maybe thats what your feeling? On the other hand a lot of people get attached to depression, what I mean is that they see it as the only part of them that makes them worthwhile is their suffering and how they get through it.
what if you're stuck in between, i'm not sad but i'm definitely not happy it's so terrible that u can't even feel sorry for ur self you are there but you don't exist, so i prefer to be depressed it's much better u can cry u can get angry, i had a time that i was so depressed for so long that i got used to it
i got to the point i was so violent with others
so from that place i kept going under in till i got here no feeling at all.
I've been drepresed not so long ago, it goes on and off sometimes but in some occasions I cry in my sleep which is pretty often.. I just don't want to do anything sometimes because there's just no point, I'm feeling trivial right now.. I'd rather be alone now a days, I'm feeling unloved and honestly I don't think anyone really likes me.. I just feel like a failure and just unwanted, probably just me I really like the feeling of being depressed. I know it isn't just me but it's weird It scars definitely, it affects my marks at school now, I can't concentrate in anything.. I don't need help, I'm feeling a bit insane and mental right now
I've been diagnosed with depression when I was about 13 bi-polar since I was 16, when I hit 18 I started getting schizo symptoms (paranoia and delusions) which my psychiatrist says comes along with bipolar for some people. Along side of that little things like anxiety and ptsd which don't effect me as much. Anyway, when the schizo tendencies kicked in I developed a fantasy world, it was like an escape, like a dark depressing fairy tale. I believed it fully and no one could convince me otherwise, that there were real inhuman blood sucking vampires, wear wolves, and I believed I turned into a witch at night being another personality with another name. This obviously caused a lot of people to label me and not want to associate with me anymore. That was the downside, but looking at the positive they were the most magical years of my life. I wish I could be in that world forever. Ever since then I snapped back to reality for the most part, I still have delusions, but I always question them, believing them, but knowing it may just be unreal, sometimes I believe them because I want to. Well, to the point of the topic I feel so BORED on normal nights where I'm not crying and freaking out. I write my best poetry during the crazy episodes, draw better pictures than I can normally, tend to make my room look crazy awesome and in general my creativity spikes. I enjoy being alone miserable and talking to myself. Zoning out to music, escaping into worlds which don't exist, only in my mind. Music influences those nights a lot. I feel like it's an escape, and I absolutely love it. I'm never fully honest with my psychiatrists because I hate being there so I want to make the appointment as short as possible usually, so I'm not sure if this is something psychology has already diagnosed, so if anyone knows an actual term for this type of mind state please let me know, and then I can look it up when I want to. Thanks
I don't think that's too healthy. But whatever floats your proverbial boat.
But it's also true that sometimes I rather be depressed that feel nothing but It's not good to do it all the time.
Same. There always has to be something bothering me. If there isn't, I feel empty.
Earlier in the day before I GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE I was just sitting in one position for like an hour, looking at my shadow moving across the floor. Time didn't mean anything. I knew I had to get up and put things into some kind of perspective. I had to go DO something, even if it was something stupid. Depression feels good the way sleeping feels good.
I was depressed today. I'm not usually depressed or anything, so I was studying the effects of it. It DID feel good to be depressed and lethargic. I took a walk around downtown Santa Fe and I just had to sit on a bench in the plaza because I didn't want to move or anything. Life seemed pointless. I went to the St. Francis Cathedral and prayed to Mary (it was All Saints Day) and that cheered me up briefly. I went and hiked in the hills and was pretty much feeling normal again. Depression is like a vortex. It feeds on itself.
Sometimes being mildly depressed takes away anxiety. I don't have to worry about my health, etc. But only the most masochistic of people would like being *truly* depressed. You don't seem to be, given the fact that you can still take pictures of yourself, enjoy them, and write about it here. True depression makes moving very difficult, as in nearly impossible. I once nearly peed on the floor because I was too weak to get up.
I think you are only mildly depressed. Many people like feeling "different" at this stage.
Don't fool yourself though, you really don't want to go deeper.
I can't say I do. I suppose it does feel like I'm "used" to feeling depressed. Or rather, it's been this way for so long that the depressed side of me has taken over to such an extent that it's hard or impossible to go back. I also don't like photos being taken of me.
no...I just like being depressed because I'm used to it and I know it. I hate attention. hate hate hate hate. I'm better alone. But I don't like to be alone. Wait...I always try to get alone. Loneliness...I want it and I don't want it...dam it, I'm crazy...Surely, this is insanity.
long term clinical depression can make you accustomed to feelings of depression, if you feel a certain way all the time, you get used to it and may even tend to like it even if it's a negative feeling. It might just be a sign of severe depression, try doing something traditionally enjoyed or considered fun and see what happens.