I know its not normal that i have no friends. im shy, is it normal?

75% Normal
5 Comments

Hey!
So I am a college student who is currently finishing up my sophomore year. I am from the South, but I go to a school up North, and I am finding a hard time fitting in here, as people tend to be so fast-paced. During my 2 school years, I have encountered many people in my classes and in a Christian fellowship of which I am a part. Everyone I know thinks I am funny and joyful, and no one I know dislikes the time they spend around me. I love everyone too- some people I really have hearty laughs with, and I really really enjoy spending time with such cool people.

However, to this day, I do not have a friend. I do not have a friend to eat meals with; currently, I eat 2 meals a day (as my meal-plan allows). I eat breakfast before class and I go to eat at around 3:00PM- a time that is considered "late lunch." Literally only a dozen other students- usually different every day- eat during that time. I have such a weird eating schedule because I do not like eating alone during the typical dinner time- around 6:30- because then everyone is eating. People look at you when you are alone. Also, I know a lot of people, even though we do not eat together a lot. People who I know often see me during dinner (and even sometimes breakfast and lunch) and ask why I am eating alone (although they normally do not invite me to eat with them). I normally just say that I had to eat really fast or something to avoid seeming like I have no friends.

Furthermore, I do not have anyone to live with for the next school year. At my college, the campus is divided in terms of living space. One part of campus is for Freshman to live, while another part is for upperclassmen. The part that is designed for Freshmen also contains cultural living units where people who cannot find housing with the upperclassmen can decide to live. It is considered socially awkward to live with Freshmen in general, though. However, since I have no friends, I have no one to room with. The part of campus for upperclassmen basically requires that you have someone to live with. Since I have no one, I still live on the part with only Freshmen. When I tell people this they look at me crazy.

I think the main reason I do not have friends is that I am really shy. I feel like I am intruding on people if I ask them if I can eat with them. Also, I am a Christian, and possibly some people do not ask me to parties because they fear that I would be against this (although, as long as I am not getting drunk, then I am completely happy with dancing and having so much fun!!!).

I guess my question is: is it normal to be this shy? I guess I already know that it is not normal, because most people actually have friends.

Voting Results
75% Normal
Based on 56 votes (42 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    One true friend is worth more than a hundred "friends". Just make one. Usually they come along with not much effort. But I see it's hard for you to open to people, so I suggest you to be more open. Don't worry, when one comes, (and a true friend, I say) You'll have more later.
    Be happy! That you feel lonely sometimes doesn't means you're friend-less/
    :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    People don't mind if you eat with them. Just ask if theyre having a private convo. If not sit with them.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    It's normal to be shy but your lettig it be an excuse for having no friends. Make friends. If people think your funny and cool, then they will hang out with you. Go to a party. Once people see you out and about they'll notice you hang out outside of class. Or invite people out fr dinner or something. Make an effort if you're that worried.

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  • MercedesBenz
    14 years ago

    I wanted to elaborate: someone youre laughing and getting along with, while youre talking say, "hey what are you doing for lunch?" if they say something casual like the cafe or mcds etc. Say, "what time? And do you mind if i join you?" then during lunch make sure you let them know you enjoyed the company and if you want say, "we should do it again soon." another approach is the above suggestion of just asking them to lunch.

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  • MercedesBenz
    14 years ago

    Ask someone to lunch sometime to break the ice with them. After that it wont be as hard. Good luck my friend.

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