I keep seeing visions of myself that look feminine

i use to be pretty feminine years back. i use to wear both male and female clothes, just the pants, shirts, jackets, coats. women have cool styles. i'd wear black eye-liner, i'd at times wear nail polish, either black or purple. i wore red lipstick. that didn't last long. i was skinny as well, i always wanted to look sexy, or cute, or even pretty. i didn't care for the word handsome.

the thing is i left that life behind a long time ago. with these visions of seeing myself the way i look in my visions a little part of me deep down kind of likes it. and now i'm worried that i'm not really over it.

is it normal after so many years a persons past can come back to haunt them?

the visions i'm having are dark, like i'm posing for a camera in a dark room like as if i was in a night club. and the thing is, i haven't had any visions of myself like that. its very odd, its random.

these visions of mine, i see them as clear as i see my surroundings.