I keep getting the urge to kill the people around me...

8 Comments

I'm 20 and currently going to university, for anyone that wants to know it's 8th April 2016.

Sometimes when I wake up or when I've got nothing else on my mind I think about killing people. Not just the bad people like in death note, though. This morning I woke up and it was like watching a movie play out in my head; I was in my English class and I stood up and started stabbing people. In the end I was left covered in blood and surrounded by a pool of bodies. I felt scared yet happy at the same time. I was gonna kill my friends though, so why would I be happy?

A part of me secretly thought it was because I wanted to go to juvenile, I know there are other reasons but I just can't figure out what yet. I'll admit, I used to cut and be suicidal, I still get thoughts but I don't try either any more.

I know that I could never actually kill people though:
1. I'm a weakling.
2. I have no courage.
3. People would over power me easily.
4. I just don't have the mindset to do it.
I'm still I am though, even if it's something that can't be considered. The urges get stronger as time passes. I know I can't/won't act on them, but I'm scared of the thoughts that keep dwelling in my mind.

Do other people get these urges/thoughts too?

It's normal 11
It's not normal 1
I get that too 13
I don't get that 1
Go see a shrink 18
You're crazy 6
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Jujudog
    7 years ago

    ah i don't know, I think there is always a massive gap between thinking about doing horrible things to people and actually acting out and doing them. Some of the stuff that goes through my head would definitely land me a lengthy stretch at the crowbar hotel, and sometimes I feel that I am so close to doing something like that, it would be so easy, but at the same time I know I never would. In this case you are fully aware that what you are contemplating is wrong, it scares you and you display an analytical approach to it. So this suggests while you might have these very violent and disturbing thoughts, that's all they are.
    Of course, you need to gauge how strong the urge is, will it eventually drive you into action? Do you really pose a risk to others? If so, either seek help, or try not get caught so easily.

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    • IMissMary
      7 years ago

      The gap between uncontrollable urges and action can close very quickly.

      He can see a professional before or after something happens.... during is not likely to happen.

      These urges seem strong enough and persistent enough for him to reach out and to worry about it, so to me that's enough to seek help.

      Size, strength and method have nothing to do with it...

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      • Jujudog
        7 years ago

        1. OP seems to be in control of these urges, so I'd respectfully question "uncontrollable urges" ?
        2. Our dear OP also clearly states: "I know that I could never actually kill people though" -Doesn't quite strike me as Public Enemy No. 1

        I was trying to make the point that I'm sure alot of people think thoughts like this, with only a very small percentage actually acting them out. There are a number of biological and social "abnormalities" that need to all be present in someone in order for them to become a mass murderer. Having thoughts like this is only one out of a list. And going by the small snippet of info here, some of the other traits do not seem to be present.

        But if the thoughts are disturbing you, OP, as an individual, by all means, talk to a therapist.

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        • IMissMary
          7 years ago

          There are lots of murders who didn't seem like Public Enemy #1. Sometimes all it takes is for the right person to be just weak enough to go over the edge. Case in point, the recent guy in Mich who was a Uber driver.

          I don't think either one of us are "Qualified" to diagnose this person and determine his true ability to be a threat. But its always better to lean on the side of caution, rather than take the wait and see approach because we don't have a body count yet.

          Either way it was good to have a solid point/counter point with you in a civil way like two adults. People should learn to agree to disagree with respect for the other person more often.

          [hand shake-nice counter points]

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          • Jujudog
            7 years ago

            Yep all agreed at the end of the day we are just here to opine, what the OPs do with that is then their business!
            My you have a firm handshake ;)

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  • IMissMary
    7 years ago

    Seek help. Go to your nearest emergency room and tell them you are a 1013 because you are a risk to hurt others. They have social workers who can find you the help you need.

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    • DrownedLeviathon
      7 years ago

      Just because I have thoughts about it doesn't mean I'm going to act out on them. You're really quick to judge and I'm quite sure that even if I did have the opportunity to do so then I still wouldn't act out on it.

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      • IMissMary
        7 years ago

        Of you can not control the thoughts you need help.

        PERIOD

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