I just want a male friend

82% Normal
32 Comments

Every time I start off a friendship with a guy it's always nice just talking and laughing over common interests. Then at one point or another they try to initiate sexual advances with me and then when they get the hint I don't want anything from them in that manner they stop talking to me all together. Why can't they be bothered with friendship with a girl? Like what is the thought process for them? Why is this a thing?

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 39 votes (32 yes)
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Comments ( 32 )
  • logan1201
    10 years ago

    I actually befriend with many beautiful girls and I don't want to have sex with them. (To be clear, I'm not gay I have a girlfriend who is kinda cute but not that good looking.)

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    This is why I love my gay men! I'm happy, proud and grateful to be a big ole f*g hag. My queer friends in college were like my brothers and I still love them dearly.
    ;-)

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    10 years ago

    If a girl is very attractive, its gonna be very hard to come by just a male friend. Especially when they have personality too. Guys fall easy for beautiful girls. Its human nature.

    there are guys out who will respect just a friendship. Youll find em :)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      i don't think guys realize if you put off the sexual advances for a long enough period of time to actually get to know the girl she will most likely fuck him. but guys invented this friendzone bullshit as a tool to move really fast. it's fake and made up. girls either like someone or don't. just like boys.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I kind of share your experiences in the post. I have a few guy friends I like hanging out with, but they have made clear relationship advances that I have had to shut down. They want more of me than I am willing to put out. I still make effort to be friends though, and if they want to be friends then cool! But if not, then that sucks, but I can mostly understand their actions. Being friendzoned sucks.

    None of them have stopped completely talking to me but I can tell that their interest has shifted away from me. That's ok though, there are way better fish in the sea for them than me. It sounds like you have bad guy luck.

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  • ygrowup
    10 years ago

    You would have a much better chance of that type if relationship with someone older than you.
    But in defense of the younger guys, if they find you incredible, it is hard to not find you desirable at the same time. Unique women are a rare find, every guy should be so blessed to find someone much like you!

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    10 years ago

    Most guys don't want to be ''just friends.''
    And that's not to sound like a dickhead. Most guys want something to develop in the relationship (especially if they see an opportunity for something positive to happen). They don't want to be cast into the dreaded ''friendzone'' if you know what I'm talking about. They feel as though if they get left in the friendzone, then it reminds them that they can't go any further in the relationship and it hurts even more knowing this when feelings have started to develop.

    But that's not to say that EVERY guy is like that. There are definitely guys out there who are content being just friends.

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  • Anime7
    10 years ago

    I really hope you don't think all men are like this. I think it's honestly just bad luck. But how you're feeling right now is justified.

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  • regisphilbin
    8 years ago

    I've never had a girlfriend so I am totally okay with having female friends.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    First mistake; boys.
    What exactly do you expect from immature boys? All they want is sex. They are lying if they say differently; it's in their genetic make up.
    Mature men, especially those who have already had their family, may enjoy sex, but their whole reason for keeping company with a woman is not necessarily about getting laid. Companionship is much more important, especially if they are intelligent, educated men. The "good old boy" type don't count.
    You sound to be about 13 years old, though, so I imagine your views on all this will mature along with you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I'm 19 and this is exactly why I don't usually go for people my age. thx these boys act 13 years old

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    "Why can't they be bothered with friendship with a girl? Like what is the thought process for them? Why is this a thing?"

    Because if there is someone they get along with personally, like them, have fun with them, they are most likely going to develop feelings for them, and usually the way to figure out how the other feels is by initiating something further than friendship.

    The reason why they walk away from the friendzone is because they don't want to be in the friendzone. They don't want to be in a position where they are constantly reminded that the feelings they have aren't going to happen.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      wow they'd rather walk away than be friend zoned? they need to learn to get over it.... youre not gonna fuck every girl you get along with so just accept that information now. this happens to girls ALL the time and at the end of the day we stick around because the vibes are too good to just walk away from. why do guys need that confirmation that someone likes them? like just because a girl doesnt feel the exact same as you doesnt make leaving her a rational action. like use ur brain thats a dick move. just because a girl doesnt wanna fuck you doesnt mean she doesnt like being around you

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      • [Old Memory]
        10 years ago

        You do realize how incredibly selfish that mentality is, right? I know that if someone had such a mentality in the first place that as a friend alone I wouldn't be interested, even if I didn't have feelings for such a person.
        "They need to learn to get over it". I'm often seen as a sociopath, psychopath, and so on, but it amazes how much empathy I have for people more than others when it comes to human emotion.
        It's a "constant reminder", so while you are involved with the "constant reminder" of what you feel, there is very, very little chance of getting over it. This is why they should leave the friendzone and the relationship with person completely, and the friend should understand if they are a good enough friend and care about the person.
        You would have someone you deem a friend in a position where they are emotionally taunted of things they want but can never have? That's not a friend.

        "Youre not gonna fuck every girl you get along with so just accept that information now."
        How ignorant a lot of girls are on this subject. You think that the issue is that they can't just "fuck" the person they like that is the problem? It isn't, men, you know, like humans, have emotions. The reason why it is painful is because of the "emotions" not the "Oh, I can't fuck her". Girls tend to forget that men are human on this topic.

        "This happens to girls ALL the time and at the end of the day we stick around because the vibes are too good to just walk away from."
        I know it does, I have friendzoned more than my fair share of female friends, and I still extend my opinion for them in that situation. If it is too hard for them to be friends with a guy when they want more, then they should leave the friendship if it's too much for them to bare.

        ""hy do guys need that confirmation that someone likes them? like just because a girl doesnt feel the exact same as you doesnt make leaving her a rational action."
        Guys that like a girl more than a friend need to know, aswell as gals, how far the relationship can go, because if they know it is limited, well then they can end the friendship if they cannot endure the emotional pain, that way they are not in a continual form of pain within the friendship, they know where they stand and are not comfortable with it.

        It does make it rational, infact staying in a situation where you are in emotional pain and you know you will be staying in that state within the friendship would be completely irrational, not rational.
        You put your hand over a naked flame and you move it away when you know it hurts, you don't keep your hand there.

        "like use ur brain thats a dick move. just because a girl doesnt wanna fuck you doesnt mean she doesnt like being around you."

        It is using your brain. You think that a friend should stay in a position where they are in emotional pain and you gain a limited companionship that is the reason for their pain. You are being incredibly selfish if you think that someone should remain in a relationship that is emotionally hurting them simply because "you" want that friend in your life regardless of how it effects them.

        Again, you are thinking the only reason a guy would leave the friendzone is because he can't fuck you. Men are human, men have emotions. The reason isn't because he just wants to "fuck you", the reason is because he "likes" you more than a friend.

        "Doesn't mean she doesn't like being around you". Well, tough titties. Just because "she" likes being around a guy (even if by doing so is hurting him with the painful reminder) does not mean he is an asshole for knowing the limits of the relationship and thinks it will just hurt him to have any connection with the girl.

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        • Paradiddle
          10 years ago

          I want OP and the rest of the female population who thinks like this to read this comment and truly understand what its like to be a guy. Everything he said is correct and believe it or not, guys have feelings too. It is not simply about sex all the time, sometimes after spending a while with a female, its highly possible that this guy will develop feelings and just like females do, what is the proper way to handle this? You bring up your emotions and hope for the best. When this doesn't happen the way you want, its very disappointing, especially if said girl starts mentioning other guys of interest to the guy she turned down just because he is only a "friend", not realizing how the guy feels.
          I know this because it has happened to me and sometimes you aren't trying to like someone, it just naturally happens, females understand this much right? Best female friend I had real feelings for turns me down, later down the line says "Theres this guy I met in class that I've been thinking about..", seriously? Don't tell me that isn't rude, it says "You did not interest me but I'm going to let you know who did". Some females should realize this and not stay in the negative generalization that guys lack emotions.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            10 years ago

            well this post WAS just about sex. I was asking why is it when I freshly start to get along with someone they all of a sudden quickly try to get in my pants, then when I say no they leave. I'm not talking about long lasting crushes on girls that boys are forever reminded of having. Chill y'all. I never said boys don't have feelings... we're obviously just talking about 2 different scenarios..

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            • Paradiddle
              10 years ago

              Your post did not mention natural feelings, it put all guys in the same group whether you were trying to or not. Any guy you come across who acts friendly and then jets when he finds out he can't get in those pants is bad, yes. Some females do this same thing too though as it has happened to me. If you're only talking about those types of guys then at least specify your knowledge of not all guys being like that, also, what is there to complain about? They, just like the females like this, are doing you a favor by leaving and the friends will stay, no big deal. Its a thing because some people have ulterior motives and its something you just brush off and don't worry about. Your story made sense but you're going to have to use words that don't lump everyone together and is clear in your target, not driven by disgust. Try reading over it yourself and see if you can find any indication of "I know all guys aren't like this but some do this", in which I wouldn't have responded like that.

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        • [Old Memory]
          10 years ago

          It was interesting reading this point of view, but as a man with many attractive female friends, I understand why the OP is frusterated because it seems that most humans in general are over sensitive about not getting what they want.
          I never will understand why people get upset about these things so easily.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Oh my god I'm not talking about boys who have FEELINGS for me I'm talking about boys who literally just met me that I have a good connection with and suddenly want to fuck and when I say no they leave. Jesus Christ....

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          • [Old Memory]
            10 years ago

            If you have "Good connections" with people you just met, then you are a bit bland, don't you think?

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  • Aliceee93
    10 years ago

    I prefer male friends to female friends. Infact I don't get on well with many girls at all. Lads are much better company eh eh ;) really they are.

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  • confusedandworried
    10 years ago

    Watch When Harry Met Sally. They explain it pretty well.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Maybe your just meeting the wrong guys.
    I have many female friends, and while I have liked some of them, I also don't care about relationships.
    I don't like that our society revolves around romance and sex as much as it does.
    It does seem that lots of guys are over-sensitive to rejection and it may sound rude of me but I agree people need to just get over these things and deal with it.

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  • EccentricWeird
    10 years ago

    Why do you want a MALE friend so bad in particular if it has nothing to do with anything SEXUAL? -Freud

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      i'm not emphasizing on the fact they're male. my point is it'd be nice if i were to meet a guy who i thought was cool and maintain a friendship as opposed to eventually pursue a relationship.

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      • EccentricWeird
        10 years ago

        It's probably your rack.

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  • chloroplast
    10 years ago

    I wish I could be a friend to a girl, but I don't have the confidence nor emotional strength to actually try it. A lot of people tell me that I would be a great friend but I don't really believe them. I do have raging hormones like the rest of us teenage boys, but I'm aware of them and only let them out at appropriate times. I'm actually afraid of forcing myself on other people.

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