I just celebrated two years. now i want to get fucked up.

87% Normal
4 Comments

Got divorced 5 years ago. Until a year ago me and the ex were keeping away from each other. Last year my sister gets the brilliant idea to invite my ex to our family's Easter dinner. My ex got remarried but that only lasted less than a year. We have two grown children. My ex and my sis have always been good friends and have gotten close again since my ex got her second divorce. The problem for me is that me and the ex still don't get along. In fact we sort of hate each other. Last year's Easter dinner resulted in a verbal knock down drag out. I'm in recovery and came close to relasping fighting with this bitch. Our kids want us both to be at the Easter dinner. My ex tells me for their sake we should both try extra hard to remain civil to one another. For those of you out there in AA I got two years. But the stress of going to this Easter shin dig is causing me to crave. I've been going to a meeting, sometimes two, every day for the past week. My sponsor took his family on a much deserved vacation, and though he told me don't hesitate to call him if I need him, I don't want to do that. He's a super guy and deserves the best. Let him have his family time. Anyway if any of you fellow sick and suffering are reading this consider this a cry for help. I just celebrated two years, man. And now I feel like I just stepped out of a 30 day program facing my first crisis. I'm craving big time. It's Friday night and you best believe I will be on my way to a meeting soon. This too shall pass, I know. And this long ass post has helped. So if you are still with me, reading this then thanks for letting me share. Any input from my fellow sick and suffering would be greatly appreciated. But after two years of clean and sober is what I'm feeling, this intense craving not only for a drink, but to get totally fucking fucked up, after two years, is this normal?

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87% Normal
Based on 39 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    Why not skip the dinner? Have your own and invite who you like.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    If you pick up the first drink, you know it's off to the races for God knows how long. It's a long, difficult road back to sobriety.

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  • deepdankstickygoo
    8 years ago

    Sounds completely normal to me. Keep going to meetings. Look at this stress as a kind of test to see if you are really dedicated to your recovery. Do not be surprised to get comments from bullies on here. This is probably the worst site to post this kind of thing. Keep doing what you are doing that keeps you safe. And no, I am not talking out of my ass. Ex cocaine/heroin user here. Off the junk for about 5 years. I would not consider myself a full blown addict but it was enough to cause me a few personal problems and I did seek help from NA on and off. If you saw me you would probably never think that. Youll be fine. Is there a way to avoid this get together?

    I remember hearing this same kind of story many times from ex addicts. Its like you are doing good and fine for a long time and you think those urges are finally gone for good..then bam..you hit the one or two year wall where you feel exactly how you are describing right meow in this post. Its normal but just stay away from your personal triggers until you feel strong enough to not fall off and get fucked up. Some stress is actually healthy though. It is like your immune system you have to expose it to germs in order to make it stronger.

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    • Ironworker53
      7 years ago

      Great response. Cravings happen but in recovery we have the tools to deal with it.

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