I hungout with my ex while i have a bf

18% Normal

so i’ve been dating a guy for 2 and a half years. things have been fine lately but not the best because of prior circumstances. but we still love each other so much. anyways, my ex from like 3 years ago asked if i wanted to hangout. we’re friends but don’t normally hang.

after a couple week of putting it off he asked today and i agreed. we saw a movie and went in the jacuzzi. nothing happened it was purely friendly and i had no bad intentions. however when we got back to his house we started watching tv and he kept putting his arms around me and touching me (not in weird areas) but touching nonetheless. i tried to not touch him and not reciprocate anything. anyways, i felt bad for like saying no or whatever because he thinks me and my bf aren’t together because we broke up for a bit but i never told him we got back together. Ugh. i feel so bad. i didn’t want to hookup i really just wanted to hangout but i was being a coward with saying no. a reason why i didn’t tell him we are back together is because a lot of people don’t know. we had a DV situation happen 3 months ago and it’s embrassing saying we are back together sometimes idk. i also didn’t want to loose him as a friend. anyways, is what i did fucked up? should i / do i have to tell my bf? any thoughts? i feel pretty bad but don’t want to tell my bf

Voting Results

18% Normal

Based on 11 votes (2 yes)

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Comments ( 18 )

Jmoney123

4 years ago

I’ve been following your story for a little while. I remember when your BF choked you during an incident a few weeks ago.

I need you to listen to me very carefully when I tell you: do not tell him about this when you are alone. Go to a public place, and make sure you have people around you. Don’t follow him to a private location. If he breaks up with you, ask a friend to help you collect your stuff. Do not see him alone.

Make no mistake: he is dangerous and will try to kill you. Please do not mince my words.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  4 years ago
  
  Yep.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  he won’t kill me? he’s not the jealous type and has said i could hang with my ex that’s a friend if i wanted bc he’s important to me
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    It's not normal, or healthy for you to want to stay with a person who was physically abusive to you, and choked you! You realize that choking someone is basically attempted murder?
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      to what extreme? he wasn’t trying to kill me
      
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        4 years ago
        
        Someday that guy is gonna kill you. You should take the initiative to save your life, and dump him. You have a chance to dodge a bullet, but you just ain't listening.
        
        I feel sorry for your family, I really do.
        
        It's not healthy to stay with someone who treats you like crap!
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        4 years ago
        
        just because a guy hurts a women once doesn’t mean he will do it again. my therapist even believes that too
        
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RoseIsabella

4 years ago

I don't understand this, because I literally have zero contacts with my exes.

I always say an ex is an ex for a reason!

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Jimbo24

4 years ago

Next time, when you're in a relationship and want a friend, get a female one, and one that's not an ex. Problem solved. No jacuzzi, no "ugh", no putting arms around you, and none of that nonsense. Stop looking for trouble and then get frustrated when you find it.

Re: this particular situation, ghost the guy, and move on with your life.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  4 years ago
  
  what i did though, was it bad? should i tell my bf
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    If your boyfriend is the muthafucka who choked you then there's really only one logical thang for you to do.
    
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  - Jimbo24
    
    4 years ago
    
    No, you shouldn't tell your boyfriend. Just stop befriending dudes when you're with someone. Ideally, your boyfriend should be the one to make sure you don't do that. But since he isn't, then you're gonna have to do it yourself. Cut the boys off until you're single again. Because boys have one thing in mind, and from your post, you're obviously not strong enough to push them off every time. That's okay, not every girl has the personality to do it. But since you don't, keep the males at bay if you want to remain faithful and take just the one dick while you have a boyfriend.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      4 years ago
      
      i’m not trying to fuck them...
      
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      - Jimbo24
        
        4 years ago
        
        I know you're not. It's the male that tries to fuck. But since you're not strong enough to push them away every time, then you know how some of that hanging's gonna end. So just do the conservative thing, cut off the boys when you're with someone, and you won't have to worry about any of that stuff.
        
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Tealights

4 years ago

Your ex wanted sex. However, I think you knew that, which is why you didn't tell him all the information he needed to know to prevent the date, Jacuzzi, and Netflix & chill. However, he's just as bad for not asking you about your status.

You desperately want a friend, even from someone who is aiming to use you. The most important person that needs to love you, is you.

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dimwitted

4 years ago

That comment just put a whole new twist on this. Is it really that bad?

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I hungout with my ex while i have a bf