I have the perfect friend yet i reject him. iin?

57% Normal
16 Comments

I have a friend who is basically the perfect friend. I can trust him, he's normal, he's nice, he's supportive, we'd do anything for each other. We enjoy the same things. I have no complaints about the guy.

Problem is me, I guess I'm a shit friend. Even thought I'd never betray him and I'd do anything for him as he'd do for me if we were in need, I have mental problems that prevent me from being social like he is. My problems prevent me from even being available at all anymore. I have real big problems.

I feel awful because of it but I can't help it. You can't even imagine how awful I feel. I feel like the scum of the earth.

Most of the time when he calls or texts I ignore him because of my anxiety and my aversion to banter and being social.

I hate myself for doing this but no matter how much I hate myself for it I can't help it at all!! I have no reason to ignore him except for my own mental problems, but yet he has to feel the pain of MY problem. And I can't even tell him because I know he wouldn't understand because I know he has no mental problems, I'm sure of it, and he's very social and friendly and outgoing.

is it normal to feel so terrible about doing this to a good friend but at the same time can't help it due to mental problems??

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 51 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • sassafrassi
    11 years ago | pl

    From what you've told us it sounds like he would understand if you told him, at least try to understand.

    Don't you think him not knowing why you ignore him sometimes would be worse?

    =)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      The thing is we are both Iraq war veterans. He somehow left with no problems and I got big problems. I'm sure of this because for one thing he is really unable to lie at all and especially to me, and I'm more sensitive to this stuff so I'd notice, and to be totally honest I've looked in his medicine cabinet.

      He even served in Bosnia back then, too. So I feel like total shit because he served more than me and I have the problems.

      We have talked extensively about our ordeals and from what he says we see it far differently. We came back different people. The problem is me though, not him. That's why I feel like shit.

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  • Goodfella37
    8 years ago

    He doesn't deserve the treatment you said you give him. One day you'll look back and regret you lost a really good friend because of the way you were with him. How would you feel if roles were reversed? I've been in the exact situation he is in and I used to get fucked off with sometimes how my best female friend was towards me and we grew more and more distant till she found another guy and I just wanted her out of my life.

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    You should try and open up to him. He does not seem to be judgmental and would at least try to understand you.

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  • FrancoisDillinger
    11 years ago

    Nobody is perfect.

    You're comparing yourself to what you see. He's probably got things he envies about you.

    I ALWAYS have to remind myself this.

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  • Dot123
    11 years ago

    Wow, yeah, you sound exactly like myself. I like being around people, but not really socializing just the odd chit chat but everyone needs that connection ever so often. But the simplest thing to do would just to open up more break from the mold be yourself. You have a lions heart.

    ''People will rely on you only to the extent that you rely on yourself try your hardest and you wont let anyone down.''

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    If he's a true friend you can show him this post and he'll understand. I've been in the same situation as you. I know it's hard. Maybe he can help you. If he can, you should allow him to help you with your problems.

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  • howaminotmyself
    11 years ago

    Lucky you, sounds like a good friend you got there. Take comfort in that. And he likely understands more than you give him credit for. But does he need to understand fully? Isn't the ability to be your crazy self without judgements the reason he is your friend?

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Your friend seems like a pretty understanding guy to me! If he served in Iraq and Bosnia then he has been exposed to some pretty horrible things. He will understand what is happening to you, and might even be able to lend a little comfort or help somehow. It seems to me like you don't have anything to lose by letting him know whats going on.

    I truly am sorry to hear that you suffer from anxiety as a result of the sacrifices you made. I wish there was something more than my piddly little advice that I could do for ya, but o well I guess.

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  • AvrilLavigne
    11 years ago

    This is an awesome story. I thought you stole my own diary. Hahaha. Actually, this story is REALLY REALLY relates into me. :)

    Anyway, I've got my mutual friend like yours. And I used to ignore him like what you did. I also have the same attitude as you. But I just learned by myself that I need to treasure him so much because it's hard to find someone like him nowadays. If you know what I mean. :)

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    • lukeuser
      11 years ago

      love your songs

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  • zchristian
    11 years ago

    There are many people that have social anxiety i myself have a mental disability and i am also not good at being social most people even if they are fine socialy can understand so you could try talking about it with him...

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  • joeschmo84
    11 years ago

    I think everyone has problems with anxiety from time to time. I used to have huuuuuge problems with depression and anxiety. I'm better now, but I confessed my issues to my close friend and she was nothing but supportive and understanding. Who knows, he might be able to help you out!

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  • iEatZombies_
    11 years ago

    Don't be so sure he doesn't have any mental problems. They may not be prominent, but trauma handles us fragile people however it sees fit.

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  • nobleserpent
    11 years ago

    If you really were his friend you'd let him go rather than make him suffer with you.

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    • Goodfella37
      8 years ago

      Totally agree with you there!

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