I have social anxiety and i need a break from dating.

64% Normal
3 Comments

I have social anxiety and paranoid personality disorder. People really think I'm a lot of fun to be around once I'm comfortable around you, I often tell funny jokes, I'm laidback etc. and I agree with them, but when I do not know you I'm really anxious and I can't be myself. So, one of the things I hate the most is... dating. I have social anxiety around anyone I'm not familiar with, but when I'm talking to a really pretty girl it's stronger than ever. Every time I'm into a girl, I end up thinking '' nah she's not worth the first date anxiety '', it's been 2 years since I last dated someone. I don't even have a fuckfriend anymore, she ended up developing feelings for me and I didn't feel the same. This situation has bothered me for the last few weeks, because a really pretty girl at the bar stared at me for longer than usual, and even smiled at me with a total '' come here and talk to me '' face, but I did nothing. I'm realising I'm 28 and single. I'm done with school, University etc. and I'm not meeting new girls every day anymore, and I'm really busy. I've missed too many chances because of my anxiety, even though I know girls aren't repulsed at all by my looks and that they even find me fun to be around when I feel at ease.

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 14 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 3 )
  • charli.m
    7 years ago

    If your anxiety is really affecting your life so much, you need to see a professional. Counselling can help, if you're willing to let it.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Here's what I see:

    1. You're a social, but anixous introvert. It's why you're great around friends/family, but become anixous with strangers and need time to get to know them. Completely normal, it's just how you are.

    2. Women are people. We're not going to give you an F for stumbling in a sentence or tell every woman in the city that you're horrible for not saying what we want to hear. Learning how to socialize takes time and practice. From what my boyfriend and (successful) male friends say, when it comes to women, just say hi and try to make her laugh (which is hit and miss). Once she's laughing, get to know her.

    3. Confidence issue. You're quick to label yourself a problem. Not sure if you've been officially diagnose with PPD, but if so then your close relationships would suffer too but you seem to get along with people fine from what you say (I could be wrong tho). From how I see it, you're probably psyching yourself out a lot that's preventing you from taking chances. Life has its ups and downs; if you fail, it just gives you a chance to succeed.

    Also, like everyone mentioned, see a therapist if you feel it's needed.

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  • Jophiel
    7 years ago

    Charli.m is right. I'm actually going through something similar (depression/anxiety/AVPD/STPD), and I've just recently started seeing a therapist. The initial reason for my visit is unrelated, but I'll soon bring up the topic. My counsellor has helped so much with my other issue even though I was a sceptic, and I think that could be a good road for you to go down.

    Try it out. If you don't find a therapist you're comfortable with at first, keep looking. Before my current one, I'd gone through 2 others- which were the reason for my skepticism.

    Best wishes. Let us find peace in days to come.

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