I have like three online boyfriends iin?

22% Normal
8 Comments

I should say first that I don't believe in the conventional idea of monogamy. As long as both parties agree to it then that's fine. But I have 3 online "boyfriends", one of whom I've met in real life. None of them know about my relations with the others and I feel like really mean doing it, yet I can't just tell any of them to go away or hurt their feelings. I think the reason I agreed to these guys asking if I could be their girlfriend is because I don't want to lose them as friends or hurt them. So I just say yes without thinking about. But in the end I regret it, because then they expect me to act like a girlfriend. Also, I DO like all 3 of them at once, so it's not like I just say yes to anybody I ask out. But I don't want to end my friendships with these guys or stop talking to them, but I also don't want to be a player. I'm lonely in the real world I guess. What do I do?

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 27 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    The problem here isn't the fact that you're polyamorous; it's not even so much as you deceiving these guys. The real issue is you.

    Why are you so desperate for affection? Why is your self-esteem so low that you'll say yes to anyone? What's wrong? You need to start taking care of yourself, and loving who you are. Stop relying on others to boost your confidence and make you feel wanted, you got yourself for that.

    1. Stop being such a people pleaser. It's okay to say no.

    2. Not everyone in the world is going to like you, and that's alright, fuck those people.

    3. Be yourself and choose your friends better. Every person you meet isn't always going to be nice, you have to be smart about the company you keep.

    4. Horny guys over the internet don't make great friends, especially if you're female, they only care about getting dat pussy; so of course they're going to be as nice as humanly possible to you.

    I agree with other posters here telling you to be honest, but if you don't start caring about yourself, then you're always going to end up in this situation or worse.

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    • genericallyanime
      7 years ago

      Yep, fuck those people. :^)

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  • _Jesus_
    7 years ago

    If you were a pokemon, you would be a Polywhirl.
    But you're not a pokemon. You're just greedy and needy.
    You're a needy, greedy centipedy.

    Okay, no, you're not. You are just starting to know yourself and noticing the traits you like in potential partners. Try finding all 3 their traits in just one guy though.

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  • sillygirl77
    7 years ago

    I think honesty is best or eventually you'll wind up hurting them, which you said you didn't want to do!

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  • TheShyGirlFromWork
    7 years ago

    IF it's online, Then their not "Boyfriends". You just flirt, chat, and share personal "stuff". Unless it's in real life, then it's not real - not real boyfriends. Go get a life.

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  • Birdprince
    7 years ago

    you aren't poly, you're a fucking cheater. if all the guys knew and accepted THAT would be a healthy poly relationship, however right now you're just a fucking whore.

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  • AbnormallyAwesome
    7 years ago

    Every minute you don't tell them makes it worse. I know you don't want to hurt them but you will. I'm sorry. It's too late for a painless solution.
    You said it yourself: "As long as both parties agree to it then that's fine" Well, they didn't agree. They think they have an exclusive girlfriend and finding out you lied will break their hearts. But not telling them will be far worse, because then they'll have to find out for themselves and feel even more betrayed.
    You say you like them. If that's true you'll let them go find someone else who's honest to them instead of wasting their time with this fiction.

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  • ........
    7 years ago

    Maybe go with what your heart tells you, I would say go
    with the guy who treats you the nicest..
    1.) Does he talk about sexual stuff all the time ( red flag)

    2.) He hardly talks about sexual stuff or talks dirty
    ( No red flag)

    3.) He respects you and gives you space ( No red flag)

    These are things you need to consider when looking for
    a boyfriend.

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