I have invented a new way to have my daily dump iin?

Hi there, You are probably here because you are curious of my work and would like to know my secrets on how to have the cleanest shit that you will ever experience whilst sat on the toilet having your Daily shit,

I am going to start this story off by Letting you guys no how it all started, For years before I discoverd the best way to have a good shit mess free I was always in some states after having my shit I would often wipe my ass and I would be for ever wiping it because if it was a runny Dump it would stick to the hairs of my ass and it would always be very annoying, Other times if my shit was hard like tar it would stick to the paper like super glue and yes the hairs of my ass and in some circumstances the night after eating a very hot indian the ring of my ass would burn like the sands of the sahara desert! And it would be runny so one day I had enough.

I had gotten so annoyed with having a shit I had classed it as my most hated thing on "My to do list" so I had started to experiment on different things and find a perfect solution to have a good Dump, so after having a shit everyday I would wipe my ass to the maximum and then I would take things to the next level by putting my ass in the sink and washing my anus with hot soapy water to remove any traces of shit left on there.

After I had solved the "MESSY ASS PROBLEM" out I had found another problem and the problem was everytime I had released my heavy load of shit I would always feel like I still needed to go so I would insert Huge Wads of toilet paper up my ass and leave it up there for about 2 hours and pull up my boxer shorts and pants and continue with what ever it was that I was doing, Later on I would go back to the toilet and poo out the huge deposits of tissue paper with pieces of shit stuck to it and then I felt very empty indeed and was happy so then I had solved the "MY BOWLS STILL FEEL FULL" solution and alas I had solved the cleanest shit solution ever.

So now we have all discoverd that to have a good clean shit after you have gone through the stage of pooing out the poo then you need to insert wads of toilet paper up your ass and if you want (this method still works) you can leave it up there for 1 minute and then once you poo it out you will feel very refreshingly empty, now all that's left to do is to turn on the hot tap with soapy water and put the plug in! Then soak your ass in the sink and scrub it with a bar of soap for about 30 seconds to a minute then (optional) also wipe down your private parts (where wee comes out of) for the ultimate clean of the "I JUST HAD A POO AND A WEE BUT NEED TO GET FRESH" kind of poo then this method is for you! And this works well anywhere and works if your at work (not for the faint hearted LOL!) Please note that I have never been caught doing this and let's say if you were ever to be seen using my method it will go down a storm and may shock some viewers, Is this normal?