I have feelings for another in a ldr that has issues?

I have been with this guy for a Year and a half now. I live in Arizona, he lives in Tennessee. I saw him last summer in person I went there it was fun and stuff. After of course was rocky He was really distant and not boyfriend-y due to friends and drugs. Then on Halloween an old friend was at my best friend's Halloween party. I cuddled with this old friend. He was giving the attention my boyfriend wasn't can couldn't give me. This scared my boyfriend, for a week my boyfriend was trying to keep me by showing his side I really needed. Then a few months past I start talking to this guy from Halloween. He had a senior ditch day thing at his house he invited me I had fun with friends since the only friend I had outside my boyfriend was my bestie. Then a month-ish pasted I asked if the guy from Halloween and some other friends wanted to get together for my birthday. I had fun and then I stayed the night at my friend's house (the person who had the Halloween party) with the guy from Halloween. I leaned on him and giggled through the night and before all of this My boyfriend was going back to his non-attentive self he has ADHD but he is perfectly fine with his friends. I really enjoyed Halloween guy's company and the next weekend after my birthday thing. The Halloween guy kissed me. I was like um and that morning I cried my heart out and my other friend comforted me. He told me (he knew my boyfriend and I were having issues) that this was gonna happen sometime so its okay. I kept talking to the Halloween guy. While this was happening My boyfriend was trying again. This has been so stressful. I went to see a movie with the Halloween guy and fun. I told my boyfriend me and this guy kissed in which he responded You can't talk or hang out with him if you want to continue this. Then the Halloween guy moved into where my friend who comforted me lives so now I can't hang out with him. I told the Halloween guy off but I do still have feelings for this guy. I also know I am sexual person and being someone who has issues being sexual due to attention is hard but I know the relationship isn't about the sex but he is punishing me by saying no sexual stuff for awhile. I also have thought if I do leave my boyfriend I will work on myself for awhile because this relationship I am in with him I have put my heart and life into really. I had told him multiple times but he also ignored me until. I started hanging out with the guy from Halloween more and more. Which I am scared that this boyfriend-y stuff will end soon or later which I feel in my gut he will because he is going to college this August and having to be in the dorm for the first year.

I also want to say this Halloween guy is 20 I am 19 and my boyfriend will be 18 in August. I get a long great with both of them.