I have chronic pain, is it normal that i'm always snappy at my boyfriend?

42% Normal
14 Comments

Me and the boyfriend have been together 1 and a half years. We are both only 20. I have an illness that causes chronic joint pain, and a few other illnesses that make me feel very unwell daily. It effects my life but i do have good days. On bad days i admittedly treat him like crap, not constantly but i snap at him and take it out on him. I feel like i cant help it and i dont mean too.

He said last night hes fed up of it and its starting to really hurt him. I feel terrible about it.
I want to stop it completely. But i'm not sure how. I'm already on meds to reduce the pain.

Voting Results
42% Normal
Based on 12 votes (5 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 14 )
  • Freedom_
    8 years ago

    Some painkillers cause some people to become more irritable... Maybe you could talk to your doctor to see if that's what's going on and see what you can do about it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    5
    5
  • deshikd
    8 years ago

    I don't know, it's a difficult to say. I'm sure anyone dealing with chronic pain would end up being snappy, so it's not really your fault. It's also understandable that he can't put up with it. Just a shitty situation, honestly.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • handsignals
    8 years ago

    My Gf is a chronic pain sufferer, she takes 30 pills and day but it still doesn't take the pain away, she needs someone with her 24/7 she can't work or drive, she can't even carry her own hand bag, I carry it for her and get funny looks every day, it's physically and mentally exhausting and she often gets the shits with me because I don't do things quite right but I grin and bear it because she is suffering worse than me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • handsignals
      8 years ago

      ...that's right...handsignals has feelings.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • chained_rage
    8 years ago

    I was in this exact situation. She had rheumatoid arthritis and had to use pills for the pain and for inflammation.
    I completely understand your boyfriend's side.
    I completely understand your side.

    Let me tell you what he is going through... He is trying his best to make you feel better when you feel like crap. he is making your stress his stress too. He feels useless because he knows that he can't help you or fix you. Then you snap at him and that makes him feel worthless.

    This relationship will end.. and it will end badly.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • irishgothgirl
    8 years ago

    It's normal but totally unhealthy, you are going to push him away entirely if you don't find another outlet for your frustration and a better way to manage your pain.
    Definitely think weed would help but obviously be really careful not to rely on it (only use it when you are at your absolute worst) otherwise you will find when you can't get to it you will become even more agitated and snappy.
    It's all about balance, easier said than done though!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    Perhaps take one of those stress balls around with you everywhere?

    I get that you'd snap due to the pain and he should understand that but I can also see why it would hurt him. Maybe tell him that a lot of the times you snap is due to this and apologize after you do it whenever you do it? I don't know if there's much else you could do. :/

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • (s)aint
    8 years ago

    Get your hands on some weed, maybe that will help you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • RoseIsabella
      8 years ago

      I dunno why they thumbed you down, my friend. I think it's a great idea! Lately I've been doing more aromatherapy for my mental health. It's helped me with my anxiety, insomnia, depression, food cravings and embarrassingly enough hot flashes.

      I also try to do yoga, pray, meditate and I'd like to start going to the gym again, but at this moment the thought is overwhelming. I very rarely smoke weed, but I'd love to use it for my pain.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • (s)aint
        8 years ago

        Probably because it's still worse than heroine and methamphetamine to a lot of people, lol.

        I mean, if all else fail why not try weed that's got less side-effects than the heavy medication?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • RoseIsabella
          8 years ago

          Precisely! Anyone who thinks weed is the same or remotely comparable to hard addictive drugs is fucking cray!

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • (s)aint
            8 years ago

            Yeah! Not saying weed is harmless and I frown a bit at my boyfriend for smoking every day but he claims his life feels better and it calms down his mind way better than the antidepressants did so as long as he keeps his job, pays his bills and is a functional human being it really isn't my issue.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            1
            1
  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Does it ease the pain to cause your boy friend pain? I doubt it.
    We all strike out when we are hurt, but if the pain is chronic you can't just keep on striking out. You must control your emotions and get your act together if you want anybody to stick around.
    How? Think before you say a word, always. Don't just blurt out something. Carry a soft ball to squeeze (or something similar) when you hurt. Just don't strike out at others, because it really only makes you feel worse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • pyrofox
    8 years ago

    Hey when the pain doesn't hurt as much be super sweet to him . and when you pick up that you might snap ask if you could squeeze his hand and explain you want to know what it feels like for me? Then later explain how your trying to find other ways to show you emotions so you don't accidentally hurt people with words that you may or may not mean.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0