I have a toy car stuck in my anus

35% Normal
31 Comments

Last night, I inserted a matchbox car into my rectum simply out of curiosity. Now, I cannot get it out. Originally I had it tied to a string, but the string has broken. And the toy car is now stuck in my rectum with no hope of retrieval. It's been up there for a few days, and I have been unable to shit for this entire time. Also, I've noticed that every time I burp it smells like shit. Something just doesn't seem right about that. What do I do?!?!?!

Voting Results
35% Normal
Based on 17 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • CozmoWank
    4 years ago | pl

    Send in some Matchbox rescue vehicles and a towtruck.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
      4 years ago

      call triple a

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      • CozmoWank
        4 years ago

        Lower case aaa not uppercase AAA. The capital letters might not fit.

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
          4 years ago

          too pointy

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          • CozmoWank
            4 years ago

            Ow, ow, ow.

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    • megadriver
      4 years ago

      Damn... I'm 23 hours late...
      I would have made the same comment XD

      Still, +1 bro.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Loool! That would not work but thats hilarous. He should do an enema instead.

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      • CozmoWank
        4 years ago

        Why wouldn't it work? They're trained professionals.

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        • Doesnormalmatter
          4 years ago

          The rescue vehicles and tow truck are not designed to be fucnctional and the cannot provide acceleration independently to get out of this mans anus.

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          • CozmoWank
            4 years ago

            DAD: "Well son, now you know why they're called Matchbox Cars and not Shovethemupyourass Cars.

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            • Doesnormalmatter
              4 years ago

              Close enough! Thats just a technicality!

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    • perfectxsilence
      4 years ago

      Funniest comment

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  • citrusflavor122
    4 years ago

    dw it's normal, just push it in further.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    4 years ago

    yeah weve all seen jackass

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    • mauzi
      4 years ago

      exactly lol this troll is unoriginal af

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  • LKearsley
    4 years ago

    When I first read this I couldn't stop laughing

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  • SomethingQuiteRecognizable
    4 years ago

    I stick toy cars up my anus all the time! Very normal, very common occurrence. I like the way it feels when it goes deep up there.

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  • TerriAngel
    4 years ago

    Take your strings, make a rope.
    find a rafter, leave a note.

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  • TheRockinHellcat
    4 years ago

    If you need Advice on this then you Deserve to have a Matchbox stick up your Ass!!

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  • LOLFanProductions
    4 years ago

    Why are you using cars? What are you, FUCKIN 11?! Just use anal beads next time FFS!

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    • perfectxsilence
      4 years ago

      Hey at least he didnt use woody or buzz

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    4 years ago

    This isn't the first time I lost something up there honestly. A few months ago the string on the anal beads broke and I had to get them removed. For insurance reasons, I'm likely going to be going back to the SAME DOCTOR for this toy car as well. This is getting really embarrassing.

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    • Doesnormalmatter
      4 years ago

      Enema! It helped me get a golf ball out!

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      • itsamistake
        4 years ago

        I would really like to think that you are an absolute troll with all your comments and posts you have made recently regarding both percentages and facts, I really do.

        BUT if the US has Donald fucking Trump as the President with his really low IQ (as well as galloping dementia) it is more likely that you are a complete and utter moron. Well Done!

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        • ZandyRose
          4 years ago

          IMHO, you are too smart to be here. This site is more for the average American.

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        • Doesnormalmatter
          4 years ago

          Uhhh No. I think the post is a troll, but that is actually what you do. Have you ever had any inatimate object stuck up your anus? An enema is literally desgined to clean out your bowels. What other posts of mine do you have a problem with? Looking through my recent posts I see only one with percentages and not a SINGLE one that claims anything as fact.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        4 years ago

        It WORKED!!! I found the toy car in the toilet when I resumed my coffee enemas as usual

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        • Doesnormalmatter
          4 years ago

          How did it feel coming out? I would guess it hurt like a motherfucker and maybe tore some if the lining of your anus.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            4 years ago

            Yeah, it did hurt pretty bad coming out. Imagine the most constipated hardest shit you've ever taken while you have the worst hemorrhoid of your life and multiply that by a million. But definitely glad it's out of there!

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            • Doesnormalmatter
              4 years ago

              I know what it feels like!

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  • Doesnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    I have expirience with this, not a car tho. What I would do is give yourself an enema and try to shit it out. It will force you to shit no matter what and if the car doesn't come out then, your fucked. Then you either leave it in there forever or get surgery to get that shit out. Yikes.

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