I have a tendency to disappear

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21 Comments

I have a few friends, but sometimes, I just "disappear" and don't feel like talking to anybody. I don't feel the need to. I don't know what it is - if I'm depressed or bored or just a natural loner. Or all of the above. This is getting progressively worse.

I am usually a good friend: I will go out of my way to do things for others and take the good as well as the not so good. I don't always wait to be contacted first and am reliable...or I used to be like that. I think that I'm becoming a very bad friend. I don't realise how my non-presence affects people until they seek me out. And I feel terrible, but it keeps happening. I want to be left alone for the most part, but at the same time, I don't want to BE alone. That is selfish, I know. What is wrong with me? Does anyone else do this?

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86% Normal
Based on 96 votes (83 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    you just need a freind that will do things for you, you are always doing things for others and it must be tiring. Do your freinds go out of their way for you? Your not selfish you just want someone to help you when you need help.

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    • PoisonFlowers
      14 years ago

      I used to be used a lot by others, but then I stopped going around with those people. The friends I have now are alright. It's not as unbalanced as you are thinking with them. Maybe I'm just tired, period. I'd like someone to ask me how I am, but even if they did, I wouldn't know what to say.

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  • Legion
    12 years ago

    wow, that sounds alot like me

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  • sweetheart7
    12 years ago

    It is normal but also very hurtfUl to friends tHat want to spend time with you. Dont get me wrong some alone time is very good for you but if you are constanly avioding people for no apparent reason.... not so good.

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  • Complex4
    13 years ago

    EXACTLY what I m going through currently...

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  • timebobbu
    13 years ago

    its called teen angst

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  • 5555holdon
    13 years ago

    I agree with Aterangelus but at the same time, I can sometimes feel as if I have no one to go to and that I have disapeered. They all have friends that they are closer to, and I feel like the left overs that didn't fit anywhere.

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  • jasonapple
    13 years ago

    You want other people to be the proactive ones, nothing wrong with that.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    i know how you feel. its the worst when people start to "worry" about you. theres nothing wrong with solitude.

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  • hagalaz
    13 years ago

    ur just a teenager during your adoloscence ull get over it

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  • JMDude
    13 years ago

    Well PF, that is a key to power you have there. People can never be starved enough of a persons company, but they can get indigestion. Keep them waiting, but do so at the right times XD

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  • prvtpaul
    14 years ago

    i am like that too, i will go awol for months at a time and magically reappear. Some of my friends are understanding, some are not so understanding. You may loose some friends but the true friends seem to understand.

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    • PoisonFlowers
      14 years ago

      Sort of glad that I'm not the only one.

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  • Aterangelus
    14 years ago

    I have a friend who does this then wen he comes back he gets moody with us wen hes out of the loop. I do think its selfish you cant just disapear all the time and then exspect nothing to have changed and to be wecomed back with open arms.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I do the same thing, the bad thing about it is that after a while people start to think I don't want to hangout or I don't like them...

    it makes me feel bad :/

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  • psychobabble
    14 years ago

    I do the same thing. Won't answer my phone, isolate, the whole shabang! Solitude is not a bad thing. It just means you're introverted.

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    • PoisonFlowers
      14 years ago

      Hoooo boy that's how it's like with me too. I don't answer calls, texts, emails, anything. I go AWOL without actually going anywhere. It's a bit of a relief.

      But then, when I realise that it's been a while and perhaps I should contact people because that's what friends/family do, I don't, precisely because it's been so long. It'd be awkward and strange, suddenly contacting out of the blue after having dropping into non-existence.

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  • Lobcaste
    14 years ago

    I act exactly like that too. In fact I came across a psychological thing on wikipedia that I think accurately describes this condition: avoidance personality disorder

    It freaked me out when I realized I probably have this, never really talked about it with anyone but whatever

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    • PoisonFlowers
      14 years ago

      Yeah, I've read about avoidant personality disorder too. I fit quite a lot of the characteristics. I also fit quite a lot of the BPD characteristics, but I feel a little bit stupid and guilty for matching myself up with these various disorders and self-diagnosing (a dangerous thing to do..) when I might not have them after all and when there are people who are clearly debilitated by these conditions. Anyway, it's not helping me. And like you, I don't talk about things such as this with anyone either.

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  • mmr138
    14 years ago

    I'm like that too! I'm known amongst my friends as a huge flake

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  • eggie197
    14 years ago

    I feel exactly the same as you exactly. Especially with a girl I like. I like her alot but don't want to actively seek her out. Talking to her makes me happy but I never go out of my way to talk to her

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