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I'm finding life hard, final year of University, holding down a job and a demanding girlfriend, have a LOT of genuinely fucked up stuff from my past, dealing with some chronic daily pain issues too
Break up with the girlfriend.
Honestly, life + a fucked up relationship is the worse. We all been there, and it sucks. It's even more horrible that once we wise-up and end the relationship we start to feel as though the world is ending because we left this person, when all you did was freed yourself and made room for new possibilities.
Just break up with the girlfriend, survive the grieving process without killing yourself or going back to her. Once you hit acceptance, then from there work, school, managing your pain, and going to a good therapist will not be as stressful because the only person you have to worry about is yourself. You'll have more money, time to really think and solve your own problems, get into new hobbies + more; but only if you allow yourself.
You sound like you want an excuse to give up. I've wished that I would get a terminal illness before too, when I was depressed.
Your life is seriously fucked up. Get rid of the girlfriend. Don't worry about the job. Healing your soul is a long road, but you can get there.
You're not asking any sort of question, yet you have the normal/not normal option. So I'll just say no, it's obviously not normal.
He is asking a question, the post heading is about wondering if wishing for a terminal illness is normal, he didn't wrote the specific words 'is it normal' but the post heading is implying that he wants an answer to it. And his mentioning how hard his life is, the bad relationship, college being tough, etc., he is just describing why he is wishing for an illness, he is wishing for an easy out because life is so hard.
Dump your demanding girlfriend, honey, cause Lord knows ain't gonna get better!
By the way I have personally been wishing to have a stroke or a heart attack lately.
You sound really stressed out. I'd get out of the relationship right off the bat. A bad relationship can make everything else in your life worse. I have chronic pain too, stress definitely raises pain levels, and that increases depression too. Try clearing out 1 or 2 stressful things so you can focus more. Watch out for that depression, get some in person if you can.
Soo do you just want everyone to fuss over you or are you actually suicidal and want to die?
Addressing the problems in your life may seem difficult but trust me, it'll be easier than being diagnosed with a terminal illness ..