I have a lesser value because i am no longer a virgin

I don't agree with all the people that say virginity is overrated. Virginity is an important thing because it means that you value sex highly and want to wait for true love. That said, I believe that you thought you had found true love. You made a mistake, and that is OK. It's not so much the fact that you're a virgin that is important to a person with high standards. It is the fact that you hold those values at all. If you truly believe that sex should wait for true love and marriage, then don't have sex again until you get there. It's just as good. People are imperfect. You don't have to be ashamed about one mistake.

You say it felt right at the time so that's all that matters. As I can tell, it's not like you just got drunk and decided to do it with some stranger; then you'd be nasty. Even though losing your virginity means having sex for the first time EVER, you'll find your true love and have sex for your first time together and it will be just as special as if it were your first time period.

Moving on is difficult, especially since everything was "perfect" and you were happy. But then again, what is pure happiness and perfection? I'm afraid there is no specific answer I can give to it.

You had said it yourself, "people change". This is true, however you did not, and when your break up occurred, you had lost the one thing that had made you as happy as you have been. My personal motto is "you never really know the true value of what you have until you lose it", for a good reason too. It reminds me that never take anything for granted because when you lose it, you will be lost without it.

I'm not entirely sure whether guilt should be a viable emotion, unless you think that it was your fault for the break up. In this case, you should make an effort to think about it. Everything that has happened has happened, you can't change the past, and what has happened, couldn't have happened any other way. Sometimes you have to accept the turning of the scales as "life".

There will always be someone who is ready to accept you with open arms for who you are, and those who try to change you are not true. Moving on is key to finding the person who is willing to do anything to maintain this belief.

Cutting yourself is an emotional response to the inability to relieve the pain you feel any other way. Redirecting the pain will not help. You will only cause more damage to yourself, emotionally and physically. Don't be stuck on what "could have been" and celebrate life, as there will always be opportunities, and by sticking by the past, you are not allowing yourself to embrace the opportunities that life presents you with.

I hope everything improves for you
-Synopsis.

I can relate to what you are saying. I lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend. And I continuously beat myself up over it. And the whole cutting yourself thing is normal. It's not good though. I don't know how to fix it, because you I are going through the same thing. Just be glad that your ex-boyfriend did not impregnate you and leave you with a baby. That would probably make you feel even more worthless. I know because I feel more worthless because now I am not a virgin and I have a child; I better get ready to be used by all men or stay a single for the rest of my life because I know in my heart no male wants a used and damaged product. You are still good. You don't have a child and scarring to make you look like a monster like I do.

please don't do this to yourself. you are a valuable person, virgin or not. you aren't any less valuable than you were before.

quit that cutting, you are an adult now.

Yeah, I would give you a grade of 5/100 now.

I'm not going to say "normal" but as a fellow Catholic non-virgin girl, I'd say its understandable, yes.

I gave myself an eating disorder because I felt so worthless after losing my virginity. definitely not normal. No man would want me because I'd had sex, right? Maybe if I was more attractive, slender, beautiful. It didn't/doesn't (I'm still struggling with it) help. Cutting won't help.

Sin is sin. There are mortal sins and venial sins and all that, But in the end, Christ just wants us to love each other. Everyone breaks the rules sometimes, and we have to have it in us to forgive others for it and just as importantly let others forgive us.

Sure, there are guys out there looking for a virgin and won't have it any other way. But God loves you and has a plan for you. He knows every intimate thing about you and has someone special picked out. Your marriage vocation won't be sidetracked by this speedbump! I know how heartbreaking it is though, I wish you all the best!

Get over yourself...you made a decision now live with the consequence.

Virginity is a pedastal that society has created. Why should you be held accountable for the outdated beliefs of religion and the disappointment that society places on non-virgins? Think about it like this: were you happy when it happened? If so, nothing else should matter. If you hate the fact that it was with your ex, think about what he's missing and how your next relationship will be even better.

And what the hell are you thinking, beating yourself up like that? Why does it matter so much that you will physically cause yourself harm? Snap out of it!

1st of all I lost ma virginty to (i later found out)a manwhore. He only wanted me for sex then again i wanted him for sex too but i also wanted a relationship which he wasnt willing to give. Sayind that I am no longer a virgin but i dont feel dirty or in pure cuz i no if i really wanted to become a virgin again theres always those "Born Again Virgin" things out there (like at church or something). IDK maybe its me but i no im still me even if i had sex and i always will be me! so dont feel dirty theres worse things out there for people to feel dirty and in pure about, yours is minor compared to theirs

you dont need an essay answer to explain that this is utter crap. 'Virginity' really isnt all its cracked up to be, its about as irrelevant as ...well i cant think of anything, BUT ITS IRRELEVANT. You lost it in an admirable way, no one can disagree with tht. You are not dirty, you are wound up over nothing. I literally promis you.

i think it is normal to feel the way you do, but that it is really sad. christianity is good at making you feel bad for things that you really shouldn't feel bad about. like having sex. sex is normal, that's why all the other animals do it too. humans are really good at taking something normal and making it seem abnormal. other examples are eating (animals don't get anorexia) and sleeping (animals don't get insomnia). eating, sleeping, and sex are all normal things - it's the people who tell you they are "bad" that are the crazy ones.

being a virgin doesnt make a woman any more valuable, you are you - with all your charms and talents - with or with out a hymen.

Im 18 and lost my virginity at 16, and have had a few partners since then.
i dont consider my self any less "pure" than before, or any less special or beautiful or smart. If anything, my experiences have made me wiser, braver, stronger.

I demand respect from every single person i meet, and i dont expect anything less just because i didnt wait until marriage.

be proud of yourself, be tough, you are a full grown woman and you dont have to degrade yourself, hate yourself, just because you made a choice. a choice that made you happy at the time.
you dont need to apologize to anyone, and you dont need to feel any guilt. sex is natural, just as good and natural as love itself as long as both partners respect one another completely.

just let it all go. be proud of the person you are, stand by the decisions you've made, there's no way to turn back time.

Sine you are Catholic, you believe in forgiveness. My advice is that you forgive yourswlf. Everyone makes mistakes. You can become a 2nd virgin.

I am several years younger than you but my first time was with a cousin who was 5 years older than me. Later I have had people say that lessens me but I don't think so. He respected me at the time and we are still friends even though he is now married. I feel that it was right for me at the time. We have both changed since then and moved on in our own lives.

Anne

If there no man who can accept who you are.... let take care yourself and just live by yourself.... there many people who live miserable in married even they are virgin....man still cheat ....
lonely sometime better than begging for bad man to accept you ....
Life so short to waste time what man things.... love yourself .... take care

We are human (male or femal) but we need to act according to role and law other make for us..... man can have many women .... woman cant...even once.....
Women need to be clean for married ......
so if she is non virgin..... should she just die?
Why man have so many choices to live and to satisfy themselve..... why woman live with less .... woman is a material right?
How about man .....
I so dissappoint with man who only value girl with her body ....while he not even good

Well I going to try to approach this without seeming disrespectful to either side.

You are not a horrible person since you did it with once and they broke up. You seem to value your virginity but its not like you slept with a ton of people so if someone really loves you they will love past that little detail. A lot of people dont care about stuff like virginity though. So they would not view this as a big deal themselves. I think you still have value as a person and I dont think anyone can ever say your slutty since its not like your sleeping with the neighborhood if that is your concern. Yes you are not a virgin now but its not the end of the world. The fact you have the patients and control to wait at all says a lot about you as a person.

You've probably gotten over losing your virginity by now, but a way to make you feel more valuable is to adopt a lifestyle based on personal growth. If you make bettering yourself (learning, fitness, health, meditation) your main focus of life, you will be more valuable and much happier than the average person.

I consider a persons virginity the greatest treasure a human can offer to there one true love to whom they will be with forever I am 22 and still a virgin I am saving it for the woman I will give up my life for to cherish and protect for as long as I live I know these days people find true love a fairy tale or a lie due to they have thrown away there innocence or hold no care for there bodies and care for only lust or pride so they belittle the ones who try to do what's right and mock the men and women who aren't lose and gave up there treasure so easily I will carry out real love and try to hold onto hope that this society will go back to treasuring love and sex with only one partner and not throw away there purity and self respect so easily.

The obsession with virginity started to prove the first child was actually the offspring of the husband. Everything else is just propaganda bullshit built on top of that.

Why would any good man want to fuck a virgin anyway? All that pain and blood doesn't make for great sex. Also the women usually would be too upset to give a good bj to finish you off.

I know I'm a sinner but I don't believe in God so it doesn't matter to me.

Dont worry most chicks have given it up 10 times over(different partners) or more by the time they reach their 20s. You're still in good shape.

If I started dating a girl and she said she's only had one partner I'd be thrilled.

sex is a normal urge like eating, shitting, scratching, etc...it is only more important because of the potential for pregnancy....so its natural but take precautions against unwanted pregnancy and dont take yourself so seriously...yeah sometimes it sucks realize youre just like everybody else...to realize we are not special or unique...but there also is positives when you realize your just another human...having an inflated ego make life hard because you have to keep trying to be perfect...just accept yourself and welcome to the human race

You feel you lost your viginity to someone not worthwhile. By all of these comments, it's plain to see virginity doesn't matter to men anymore. All you can do now is move on. Don't cut!I just don't understand self-mutilation to that degree. Write a damn journal or work on a new relationship. Just get out of that past guilt. My advice is look for a long-term relationship that'll lead to marriage as you seem to be too fragile for the latter.

Your better than soem people who stay with their ex just because tehy lost their virginity to them. Aka relationships that are hurtful or doomed to fail. Atleast you had the strength to do that. I felt the same way you did, and I'm not a catholic, I just had to stop and realize I'm still me. No different than I wad before. It might help you to have a little more confidence in yourself, and pride in your choices. It's like people say: You can dwell on it forever, or move on. Hope you realize what I did, good luck lady :)

You really have to start treating your self better than this! you dont deserve this just because you lost your virginity! Its really nothing these days. Go find an other Boyfriend have more sex if you have to! just dont harm your self with just this one time! every one has sex and no one has the right to question you! it your life and you decide whats best for you!

The average age nowadays for firsts is 14 plus popping the cherry sucks -__- uve got experience be happy id be dissapointed if u WERE a virgin (:

Virginity is nothing. It's only meaningful cause of what society taught you to think :) Your not gross and it's probably just because you don't love him anymore that you think it. You just need to get over that fact and move on

Don't beat yourself up over it, I know VERY good people who aren't virgins. For example, my mother donates blood and goes to church every sunday and has the courage to raise my mentally disabled sister, and she's not a virgin.

I kind of feel the same way you do, since I was dating a guy for three months and he talked me into having sex with him. I had always planned on waiting and now I feel guilty that I just gave in so easily. I was also raised Catholic, and recently asked the priest if it was wrong to have sex before marriage. He said it's not a sing, but frowned upon my the Church. I just feel so mixed up about it, but I'm trying to move on and wait longer next time I'm in a committed relationship.

things like losing ur v plates does not make u any less of a person don't worry. no regrets they only make things worse

Just because you are no longer a virgin doesn't mean that you are a nasty adn terible person for it. Your probably feeling guilty because he was your first and when it was over you couldn't find a way to get over it. i felt the same way with my first as well. eventually you will move on. just remember that life goes on.

I'm going to try and respond to everyone who has helped me with this, but that might take awhile. For now I just wanted to say thank you for being honest and helping me realise that value in a person extends far beyond being a virgin or not. I'm also seeing this in people who claim to be sexually pure but still treat people horribly. It all comes down to how a person treats others where they can find real respect for themselves. Thank you once again to everyone who helped me.

It sounds like you just need to find the good in your situation. I personally don't think that a girls value decreases because she's no longer a virgin. That's just my opinion. Others might disagree, but that's their opinion. My point is it just sounds like your beating yourself up because your afraid to be judged. At the end of the day it's just words.

If you keep looking at it as a mistake, then that's what you'll get out of it. Try finding a different outlook on the situation; maybe like a lesson learned. Plus, your lucky he stayed with you for that long even after having sex. It might sound cruel to you, but life & love are never a fairy tale.

no it's fine. in this society, you're thinking in an almost 'too pure' way. i guess its your religion or your own moral values, but it's ok :) it's really no big deal. rather, in these days i think it'll be a really rare case for any girl to stay a virgin until their marriage.

One and a half year? Fuck, thats lot of time for a virgin(boy). And I don't even wanna think what your sexual life was before or after that with all this "feeling pure thing" of you or whatever.
You are funny though, I give you that.