I hate my self for this

67% Normal
8 Comments

So years ago I was looking at porn, I was like 9 or 10 years old remember that, and I saw something really... wrong. It was a picture of some young girl (I'm sure she was under aged) posing in a thong ugh. I got curious and I clicked on it, and it took me to some other page where there were alot of pictures that were similar to the first one. Just a bunch of little girls in thongs and crap like that. At the time since i was so young, I wasn't really grossed out about it, and I didn't find it sexy at all. I clicked on that first horrible picture out of sheer curiosity. I just thought it was boring and went back to good old normal porn. Although, I didn't delete my search history after I finished and when my parents looked at the history on my computer like, a day later or something like that, they found that horrible website of all those girls and they made me feel really bad about it. Like they thought I actually liked looking at those sick pictures. It was to the point where I started crying, and then they had a conversation with me about how sick those pictures were, and how I shouldn't look at that. They told me it was illegal, but they forgave me and just told me to never look at those pictures again. So I didn't. But ever since I felt really guilty about seeing something like that. Something so sick. Ever since I felt like a total pedophile or something and I completely hate my self. I feel so sick with my self about seeing those pictures that I cry to my self sometimes. I don't know anybody in the world who has looked at something like that. None of my friends have ever seen something like that, nor my siblings. No one! I'm the only one I know that has seen something so horrible and I feel so damn guilty about seeing that so long ago. So please, please answer me. Is it normal that I was curious enough to see those horrible pictures? Better yet, is it normal that I feel this guilty? :(

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 12 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    You sound quite normal and healthy to me. The fact that you feel guilty shows that you have a conscious. Don't beat yourself up about this mistake, you were young, innocent and curious.

    As long as you aren't looking at that bullshit nowadays I ain't mad at ya. When you feel really bad instead of hating on yourself pray for the victims of child pornography including yourself. Sometimes people see horrible things that traumatize them. My father saw some awful things in Vietnam that still make him emotional today.

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    • someguy12345
      9 years ago

      Wow thanks so much. Honestly this helped. I didn't even see your comment before sorry about that lol. Anyways I feel way better now.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    You said you were 9 or 10 at the time.

    I would have been perfectly normal even if you did feel attracted to be turned on by girls your own age and it would not make you a pedophile.

    Part of being a pedo requires being an adult at the time.

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    • someguy12345
      9 years ago

      Alright I guess so. That made me feel kind of better, thank you. But still, who would do something as far as posting pictures like that on the internet? It doesn't make sense.

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago

        Who would do that? Obviously pedophiles would do that.

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  • gashlover
    9 years ago

    I used to feel that way about 2 girls 1 cup

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  • Imnotembarrased
    9 years ago

    as long as you are younger or only a year or two older is it normal to look at

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    • someguy12345
      9 years ago

      Thank you for the reply. It helped alot.

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