I hate my mother

Well, up to the point where I was sent away to foster care, I had a pleasant relationship with my mom. When I was finally back in her custody, I don't know when, but we would have arguments. I felt as if it was her fault for putting me in that situation (she's a drunk) and that it was because of the constant alcohol abuse. I would try to make us work by being the better man. But our fallouts were continuous, how can you try when your parent is the childish one. Up until a point where we had our most major argument (we actually fought before. Well she fought me. I'm a boy.) I wanted to go take care of some of my buisness and she wouldn't let me, so i called her a failure straight up. Mind you the tension we already had. She confronted me, asking me did i like her. (She would always ask stupid questions ... period.) I told her NO! and she tried to throw me out of the house, I gladly left, but not without the insults. That blew me away because she never did that before not even when we fist fought. She said I wasn't anything, she hoped I would die, I'm a fa**ot. I started the name calling first. But it was nothing but the truth. She denied them because she didnt expect me to know those things i guess. But she also proved to be a liar. She must've felt embarrassed beacuse we had an audiance, and she had to be the center of attention which she always tries to be. She's pathetic. She constantly ask do I think I'm all that do you think your better than me. (You said it not me. Why are you mad because I respect myself and carry myself properly.) Now some time has past and I'm back in the house and the least I can do is ignore her. Its that bad that I just can't even look at her when we speak. I hate the way she walks, eats, talks, its all just disgusting to me. Maybe she just wants my attention. But be an adult and learn how to talk to your child appropriately. I spend my days just not paying any attention to her and I can tell that gets to her. She tries to make me jealous, which she never will ( I'm not the jealous type at all. But I can see she's jealous of me. She puts me down when I'm not around.) How can I be jealous of someone as filthy and low life as her. She doesn't even have anything to be jealous of. She doesn't know how to have a decent conversation, all she can do is play (not with me) or talk about herself, which no one cares about, and when someone makes that known she gets an attitude and tries to over talk the person. She can't even listen to others so how does she expect the same respect. We hardly say anything at all to each other and I can feel us growing farther apart. And I don't see that as a problem. Because of the horrible things shes said to me I can't trust her. And once you break someone's trust, it's gone .. she's not even a factor in my life anymore. She can't handle her own and is always leeching off of someone, and has the nerve to complain about something she can't pay for with her own money?! Ugh she just irritates me. She does stuff to irritate me on purpose but I can't say that because she thinks I do the same, which is not true because like I said, shes not a factor. She's so childish and immature, pathetic just a basic person that needs help. I told her she doesn't like herself and she got so upset and was so mad that I didn't act the same she did when she said it back. But I can go on and on but thanks ... please leave feedback. It is much appreciated.