I hate my mom

I hate my mom. she is always doing what others want, including my siblings. I have always been either too young or too old for anything i ever wanted, or i was setting a bad example for my younger brother and sister.

like when i was a kid all my friends always got birthday gifts mostly it was a stuff teddy bear or a Barbie Doll. No, but i was always too old for it cause i had a younger sister infact the dolls i had she got them cause i was the older one and she needed them more.

i was sent away to the boarding school when i was 12. I hated it cause i didn't knew how to take care of myself, do everything on my own but she never listened in fact my aunt her own sister tried helping me out more than she did. the school i was in we were told to write letters every week 1 to your parents and other to anyone you wish to. i wrote to her every week but she never replied every girl in my hostel used to receive at least 1 or 2 letters a year no but my mother never wrote a single word to me she never thought of even replying to what i wrote. eventually i made some new friends and things started going smooth. then when i was 15 she took me out of the hostel well i thought she wanted me at home but no she wanted me to help my sister and my brother to complete her art and craft projects. she never even asked what i wanted to do..

then there was this day when i was so furious at every one that i decide that i will talk to her no matter what
i was standing in the kitchen trying to talk and she was shouting at me to leave and go back to my room but i didn't she literary burned my thigh with a pan. the mark of which i still have on my thigh. i wasn't taken to a doctor jus bandaged at home.

after that most of my life i have spent out of my house for my bachelor's Degree and my masters degree then i was out when started working now i came back when my dad finally said yes for me to marry the guy i want and my mom is being what she has been all this year a perfect mother to my sister. she is always around her talking to her consoling her for anything and everything i am sooo upset right now cause the time i wanted with mom i cant have cause she doesnt want me as a daughter she has her perfect daughter always with her .. there are certain days when she wont even say a word to me for days.. i feel like an extra baggage that my mother has to carry

I am 28 now and like that doll incident at every point in time when i needed something i was always old i was either too old or too young. but my sibling never heard that for my sister 17'th birthday she made my mom bought a huge teddy bear. and she rubs it my face everyday. The worse part is i am suppose to get married next year and now when i try to recall a good memory that i ever had with her i find none. everything i try to do or make i am told to do at my home as if my fathers home is not my home if shift any furniture or move a chair she yells and shouts. now i feel like that i would never wish to talk to her after i get married and moves out. Is it normal to hate your mother so much. Sometime i feel like if my siblings were never born she would have cared for me like she cared for them. at least she would have realized that i was getting married and leaving at-least she would have been a mother to me when i needed her the most.