I hate my dad...?

Ok, so when I was younger my dad was an artist.
He didn't make much money because his artwork was depressing & dark. He'd always take the blame out on my mom, & then do something to her. (I never found out what). Sometime's when he was angry at me or my brother, he'd twist our arms around & hold them behind our back, until he believed our sorry for whatever reason he was angry at/for. He even threw me into our pool, thinking it was a joke, & that laughing, (because he was tickling me) saying "stop it" and trying to cry because I was scared, was an okay sign to just go ahead and throw me into the deep side when i was 7 or 8, & wasn't at all a good swimmer lol. (I should've been, but I wasn't, so whatever ok lol). They got divorced finally, thank god.
(they would always scream at each other, with words like, fuck u, or asshole. well, mostly those were my dads words)

Later on I got older (obviously) and at 11 yrs, my mom all of a sudden bursted out "I LOVE YOU" at me.
& i'm like wtf? i know that lol. but thanks o_o
& she's like. I need to tell u something.
& I'm like, "mom, if this is about school don't tell me."
& she's like this is about ur dad.
& i'm like "i hate dad. I don't want to talk about him. stop it, okay?" (I don't know why I hated him. I just did. I guess it's because he scared me)..
(oh, & i don't remember if i said those exact words lol, i'm just telling my story) /:

She started talking about why they got divorced.
as in, they got divorced because, well.. it's sorta confusing.
first she's like all about this 'dad abusing her' sort of thing.
i asked my grandma about it a couple days later or whatever, & she said that my mother wouldn't tell her anything about what's going on. all my grandma mentioned was that she had to watch me, while dad was getting arrested for something even grandma didn't know about.

later on I asked my mom about my dad getting arrested,
and I thought it was from all the abusing, but it wasn't.
she said that dad was in a parking lot at the time, & all of a sudden he took his dick out and starting waving it at the other women in the parking lot. maybe even dudes too ROFL. Anyway, he was also humping them. one of them called the police & that's why he was arrested.
my mom said that she paid him out or whatever.
my dads bald btw, lol. o_o
she said they got divorced from him cheating, & using her to help him with his artwork, then taking all the credit. also, he took A LOT of money from her ($1,000,000) to buy stuff to make more artwork. Disrespect too. v_v

I stopped seeing my dad 5 years ago, (i'm 14, do the math). i hate him, & don't remember what he looks like, except that he's bald, & whenever I try to call him, his voice freaks me out & I hang up instantly.

i don't know what to do..