I hate my boyfriend's daughter

Dump him and move back to your old life. Don't waste your youth on this bullshit.

What did you think was going to happen?

His kid should come first. It's every parents responsibility to put their kid before anyone else.

This is an unhealthy relationship for everyone involved. Next time don't get with someone who has kids unless you are ok with coming second.

You're 18 and dealing with a little brat and its going to make you go grey before your time. The thing that stood out the most to me is that she is mean to your dog? I love dogs, and if some kid was mean to my, or any dog or animal, I would fucking slap them. Get the wooden spoon and give them the hiding of their lives. They will never again try that shit. If he wants you to act like a parent and take care of his daughter you have a say in how she is disciplined. I always say if a kid is old enough to be naughty, they're old enough to get introduced to descipline. I only ever got one hiding in my whole life and I never again did what it was I got the hiding for. Also, this is why I believe that it should be LAW that each girl when she reaches reproductive age which is 12 for most girls, should receive a long term form of birth control. The implant, the copper coil, something that gets inserted and stays for multiple years. This method should be continued until the girl grows up, gets married, and stays married for atleast 4 or so years. Basically, I don't think it should be legally possible for people to have a child with someone if they're not utterly commited to one another. Seriously, too many girls and guys that bring their baggage from past relationships into new relationships and this is what happens.

I agree, dump him. Or he should dump your creepy ass. Just exactly did you expect this child to do, embrace you? Not likely. You're stealing her daddy away; don't you see that? Maybe you'll meet a nice guy at English class though, because your writing is way hard to read.

You're 18 years old, too young to be a mother, and hes too young to be a father and it sounds like he duped you into raising his child for him. This isnt fair for you. If you dont want children, nothing wrong with that, you are still young and can easily find a man that doesnt have that sort of baggage but you gotta work on you first. Leave your jerk bf and find a job and find a roommate situation that allows dogs (they do exist). Best of luck to you.

I actually kind of agree with wistfulmaiden to be honest. Next time you meet a man with children, don't even allow yourself to persue any kind of feelings you may develope for him. You're young, and you should be focusing on you and your man's relationship and allowing it to grow and blossom, and that brat is taking up all your fucking time and decaying your sanity. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate children, I just dislike bratty, noisy, irritating children. Which is basically all of them. I know VERY few children who are well mannered and well behaved. About the punishment thing, if spanking her once doesn't work, you spank her again, on her bottom, until she's so tired of it she eventually stops being a bratt. Don't ever hit her in the face or anything though, that's abuse. A good spank on the bottom is discipline. If she acts up again, you LOCK her in a room making sure there's nothing around to hurt her in that room. You get down to her level, on your knees, and speak in a calm voice and say "honey, that behaviouris unnacceptable and you're going for a time out now." After about 10 minutes, let her out of time out and again, at her level calmly, tell her you want an apology and ask her if she's going to listen now. If she. Throws a fit again, repeat the process. You could find yourself doing this a hundred times a day but eventually she WILL give in. You are the adult, she is the child. You are the boss. She is not. By the way, if she hurts your dog, PLEASE keep your dog away from here nomatter what it takes? Lock her away if you must, but its horribly unfair for an innocent dog to be terrorized by a bratty little monster.

Don't ever date a man with children unless youre over 40 and desperate. As soon as you can get rid of him and never date a man with children again. I would never consider dating someone with a child, its just nothing but drama/issues/irritation.
btw he sounds like a total asshole.

Sounds to me like you need to be the center of attention and the kid is taking that attention away from you, so you resent her. She doesn't seem to be behaving in any way that is abnormal for her age or circumstances. I'd personally like to know how his "2% chance of fathering a child" is relevant in any way. She exists. You knew she existed and was a part of his life before you moved there. Now you want sympathy because the child is rightly more important to her father than some chick he met on the internet... and her dog. Why would you get into a relationship with a man who has a child when you don't like children? Did you think he would give her away to protect your dog? When you want the parent, you get the child. They are a package deal. The fact that you didn't make a contingency plan if the move didn't work out doesn't mean the kid should cease to exist. What makes you think you're more important or deserving than she is? Because you've had hardship in your life? Her mother abandoned her, so she's having hardship too, right now. Stop letting her call you Mommy and get the heck out before you do that baby some permanent damage.

Don't suit for bratty kids leave him

She's just a kid!

[Quote from an article:
"Aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, etc.) usually peaks around age two, a time when toddlers have very strong feelings but are not yet able to use language effectively to express themselves. Toddlers also don’t have the self-control to stop themselves from acting on their feelings. They are just beginning to develop empathy—the ability to understand how others feel.
When a toddler is aggressive, it is an important sign that he is out of control and needs help to calm down before any teaching or learning can take place. Staying calm yourself is the best response as it helps your child calm down more quickly."]END

You don't get rewards when you throw tantrums! Children can be very manipulative! I don't mean necessarily in a bad way, certainly not. It's just that children, they keep track. It's part of development. What works, what doesn't, what get a laugh, what makes you angry, testing limits and boundaries is all part of the deal.

If you feel like you love this guy and you have a connection and you want to stay with him..then you have to do better than wanting to "eat a gun" regarding the child. It's just the way it is. It's his daughter and that will always be. You can swim against the tide and just get exhausted or you can just go with it and ride the wave and make the best of it, enjoy it and maybe develop something nice between the two of you. (you and little girl)

Clearly, the method she's using now, MUST be corrected. At least, acknowledging her unhappiness and showing her to use her words to express her frustration in a more constructive way than self harm. Be her teacher. Read about children at this age and the behaviors your witnessing. Try some different ways to teach her to calm herself. To express herself. I know I make it sound all Mary Poppins "ish" and the kid is a nightmare, but while she may just grow out of it..it is CRITICAL in the meantime that she be taught the "right" way to express emotion. Not by hitting or biting! Those actions should only produce discipline. (and very little interaction so there isn't any continuation of the behavior as some cling to the notion that even negative attention is still attention" and that's not the direction your going for.

If a bite occurs for example, then explain how that hurts and perhaps a chair to sit alone in for one minute per year of age. Prior to her getting up, provide an explanation of, "Why" she was put there in the first place. Perhaps offering an alternative to the negative behavior for next time. Either way, end it with a hug and if it's Daddy, (or maybe you one day) he should make sure she knows she is loved. Just so she understands over time, that even when she is disciplined or Daddy is unhappy about a behavior it never changes the love.

Above all it is IMPERATIVE that you praise her with smiles and love when you see ANY evidence of sharing or kindness. Any positive behavior can be rewarded with praise and perhaps something fun! After awhile, her brain will make a connection that being kind, friendly and behaving, results in fun, games,laughter and love. However, self destructive behavior and being fresh results in sitting in a time out chair alone without any privileges. Fun, laughter, games and positive praise does not come from negative behavior. On the contrary.

To feel safe.
Discipline and unconditional love will help any child to thrive. Turning your back on her, throwing up your hands and saying "no thanks' because it's not easy is... well, it's sad for her because she's already beginning to show signs of low self esteem. (I believe due to not feeling as safe as she could feel. (Safe by way of structured home, solid foundation, feeling secure & loved no matter what) Also, a little sad for you too. Because you seem like a loving person. You made a pretty drastic change in the name of love by moving to another state. You are no stranger to being driven by the forces of love. Don't you want to at least try a different approach and see if you can make a difference? It will be a success for you too. You'll learn something about yourself in the process. Lessons in patience and perseverance. Not giving up easily. It's a trait that we ALL could benefit from. Giving unconditional love to a child and receiving the same in return is one of the best parts of being human. Children are amazing if they trust you. If they are secure with your love.