I hate kids

75% Normal

Lol, time to say "bye-bye" to all your money. (anyone that wants kids)

Kids are friggen expensive.

"I WANT THIS TOY, BUY ME THAT DRINK, I LOST (blank), BUY ME A NEW ONE!"

Not to mention the "baby" stage, or as I like to call it...

The disgusting bodily fluid stage.

There's always something coming out of a baby and it's never normal. Poop shouldn't be a white. If the baby ate ORANGE purée, they shouldn't barf up Rainbow blobs.

They wail and scream until they're about 6. And then the "fun" stage comes next...

The "I'm a big kid now" stage.

"mommy, you're so dumb. I know more than you because I'm BETTER THAN YOU. IM BETTER THAN EVERYONE."

I hate spoiled children who thinks that the world revolves around them. They have no manners and constantly have temper tantrums when they don't get what they want. They never know how to close their mouth. How could they when all their teeth are falling out anyways.

There's another dentist with a fat wallet.

The only time I can tolerate "kids" is when they're over the age of 16. Otherwise, keep them away from me, because I may lose my mind hahahaaaaaaAAAA.

Then you have to look at the parents... Oh dear god.

All the emotional turmoil, stress, pain, frustration. Is it really worth it when your kids are just gonna slap you in a "home" when you're 70 and quickly drain your bank account?

Anyways, this is just my opinion. If you wants kids, then all the luck to you! Just don't try to shove your wrinkly, bald, toothless, spit factory in my face expecting me to "coo" all over it.

I hate "coo".

And another thing I can't stand is the women before they have their "thing".

"oh bob, my back is so sore. Go do this for me"

"BOB WHERE ARE MY CHEESIES"

"bob I know it's three in the morning but can you run to the store and grab me a jar of pickles, natcho cheese, some of thoes little chocolate coins, OH MY GOD BOB I LOVE THOES LITTLE CHOCOLATE COINS, a bottle of fizzy water, but not diet fizzy water because it tickles my nose then I sneeze and tinkle myself."

"bob I don't feel so- *violently vomits all over bob*"

"look at my feet. They're so fat. DO YOU HATE ME BECAUSE I HAVE FAT FEET, BOB?!? FINE! IF YOU HATE MY FAT FEET SO MUCH YOU CAN JUST GO. JUST GO BOB. I DON'T EVEN CARE. I LOVE MY FAT FEET. They're so BEAUTIFUL. Oh bob, I can't stay mad at you, I don't know what came over me... Bob? Are you listening to me? WELL IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT. You•hate•me don't you? It's because I'm ugly and fat *sobs* oh god WHYYYY?!? I did my best I did my best I did my best I did my- *projectile vomits*

So yeah. Pregnancy is such a joy. And not to mention, after you have kids... Your vagina just kinda becomes like an old, rusty playground.

No one wants to take a ride on that swing set.

Once you have multiple kids, it's like slowly pulling apart a grilled cheese. Messy and limp. Or there's always the alternative. Let some guy with a piece of paper hanging on his wall SLICE your belly open with a knife and pluck out your screaming, bundle of joy. So the choice is up to you

1) flappy grilled cheese vagina

2) horribly scarred midsection

And don't even get me started on the expectations of new parents and soon to be parents.

Ugh.

"I am a GODDESS. I have a miracle in my belly! I'm going to take 100 pictures of me holding my shirt up and exposing my disgusting, buldging, stretch mark infested stomach and post them on Facebook!".

No. Just, no.

It was not a miracle that you spread your legs and got your "V" filled with man-mayo.

It is not some divine wonder.

They act like they're gonna give birth to the friggen baby Jesus!

And that's just before birth. If stbp (soon to be parents) expected you to kiss their asses before the baby, just wait until its here.

They expect you to weep at the magnificence that they pooped a wrinkly, sack of human from their vagina. Babies don't do anything interesting anyways. They just sit there, hanging from their "jumpies" drooling and looking mentally challenged, Chewing on everything in sight and dangling off a boob for 10 months.

I swear. When new parents expect me to say

"O•M•G. Your baby is so cute! I wish I was that cute! I just wanna eat him/her up! SO CUTE!"

Yeah no. Babies are ugly. They truly have faces that ONLY their mother could love. Plain and simple. Until they have a full head of hair and learn how to speak in complete sentences, I will not interact with them.

Okay, that was a long, unneeded rant.

Anyways, is it normal for me to feel this way? I'm not getting any younger and I've never had a desire to have, hold, play etc

pretty much anything to do with kids, I hate. Ugh.

Voting Results

75% Normal

Based on 16 votes (12 yes)

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Comments ( 24 )

flax

11 years ago

I loved this post.

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NotStrangeBird

11 years ago

If it wasn't for kids, who would dig up my diamonds?

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Terence_the_viking

11 years ago

Kids are only as expensive as you let them be.

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[Old Memory]

11 years ago

You weary me.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  In what context?
  
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NothingxCrazy

11 years ago

That was very interesting to read. I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did. Haha.

Kids are a lot to handle, no doubt about it. Some people see it in a positive light, whereas you see it i a negative. It's like saying don't get a cat because they shit and expect you to clean it up. They also expect you to feed them. That's just so much work.. right? A cat doesn't take as much care as a baby, but still.

There are many good things that come out of having a kid and maybe you just aren't the type of person to see that. I don't see you being abnormal in your view, but I think most of the world thinks the opposite way as you, which is why we are so overpopulated. Women go through their baby phase at some point and a little bundle of wrinkles, as you say, pops out to bring torment to its parents.

Sometimes the mess is worth the fun you get out of it.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  I love cats <3
  
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  - NothingxCrazy
    
    11 years ago
    
    At least you're not entirely full of hate. :)
    I love cats as well. I'm not sure if I'd choose a cat over a baby, but we'll see when the time comes. Haha.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      I've just never been the type to fawn over children.
      
      They run up to you with friggen 2 foot long boogers hanging down their faces and expect you to give them hugs?!?
      
      I THINK NOT!
      
      I would push that kid away with a stick.
      
      Now kittens... Kittens are cute <3 I have 2 cats and one dog
      
      Oldest cat: Nicco 12 yrs
      
      Youngest cat: diamond 2 yrs
      
      Dog: jake, shitzu, 6 yrs
      
      Diamond was so cute when I got her. She was the runt of the litter so she was extremely petit... She used to curl up and lay on my chest, right overtop of my heart, I guess the beating soothed her. She was rather "squeaky" though, and to this day she still can't quite meow. It comes out as a coarse, broken squeak. I took her to the vet, it was a slight birth defect and her "vocal cords" didn't finish developing. It causes her no harm though. She's still pretty tiny... But she got fat... Which I dont understand. She gets 1/2 cup of dry food and 1/2 cup of wet food in the morning, evening and at night she gets a full cup of wet... So I'm not over feeding her, that's only 3 cups of food a day, and she has plenty of time to digest her food in between meals.
      
      I should let her out more often...
      
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      - NothingxCrazy
        
        11 years ago
        
        Yes, that is a displeasing thought but boogers aren't that bad.
        
        Yes, maybe she needs more exercise. My cat, Freckles a mackerel tabby, just passed a year ago at 12 years. He was quite hefty but it fit him well. My sister got a kitten so for a few years they were always running around together and he got good exercise. Though, he was still a lazy cat.
        
        With all of my animals I always just filled their bowl and let them eat whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. None of my pets have ever been overweight because of it. My dog was in perfect shape his whole life and never had any health problems. That was until he got a growth on his neck and we had to put him down at 10 years.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        11 years ago
        
        Oh my goodness I'm sorry to hear that :( its always tragic when something you love passes on, but hopefully both of your pals are safetly playing in a better place
        
        And the reason I feed them in cups is because jake and nicco both have serious health conditions. Nicco is quite old and can't properly digest his food, so I get special food for elderly cats from the vet, but I can't give him too much each go. So I measure out his amount, which is 1/2 cup every 3 hours
        
        With jake, we unfortunately got him from a bad breeder and he was born with both of his anal glands, non functional. It's pretty sad, I have to take him in for shots and tests every month because they're prone to bursting. So he gets special food too, which isn't filled with harsh chemicals or proteins, he gets 2 cups every 4 hours. And with diamond, I just feed her the reccomended amount of regular kitty chow.. Maybe I'll cut back a bit and see if she loses any weight. Her little belly hangs so low it almost touches the floor when she trots lol
        
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howaminotmyself

11 years ago

If you don't want kids, then don't have them. It's really quite simple.

Sure, some kids are whiny brats...but so are some adults.

And my feet are not fat!

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Oh I know haha
  
  I'm very whiny, especially when it comes to situations where I'm confused and angry. But still... If you read my comment replying to the first post, parents need to make an effort (at least TRY) to controll their kids.
  
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  - howaminotmyself
    
    11 years ago
    
    I know, and unfortunately they were likely raised by parents who gave in to the temper tantrums and are repeating a cycle of bad parenting. But sometimes you catch a kid and a parent on an off moment. Maybe lunch was late. Plenty of adults throw tantrums when they are hungry. I know great parents who are embarrassed when their kid throws a tantrum and all they can do is deal with it right there. Not all parents solve the problem with sugar and or new toys. But in that moment, all you see is the moment. Please don't be too quick to judge the situation.
    
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bananaface

11 years ago

You're not the only person who dislikes kids. For me, it depends on the kid, but I love a lot of them. I think kids are great.

I think you are being a bit critical of things they can't help. They're growing up, of course they're not going to have manners, they haven't been taught them. It's a bit silly expecting a child to act like an adult, like we all come out the womb knowing not to eat with our mouths open and that we should control our tempers or something:P. Every adult has been through this. And yeah, they are selfish. They sort of need to be. They aren't developed enough to look after themselves, so they need to take. It's just the way kids are, there's nothing wrong with it.

There are positives, you know. You make it sound terrible. There are negatives, which you've listed, but there are also good things about having children. Most parents love their children, and despite how expensive and tiring they are, they bring a lot of people happiness. Either way, it's not for everyone.:)

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Hahaha.
  
  When I was six, if I disrespected my parents, or started screaming like a deranged lunatic in a shopping center because I couldn't have a candy bar or a comic, I would have been in serious trouble. Parents are becoming way too lenient with punishment these days. I'm not saying beat the kid, but just teach it a lesson for gods sake.
  
  What my parents used to do was embarrass me.
  
  If I made a fuss, they would speak in a loud tone and say "Everyone's looking at you and they're going to laugh at you because you're crying"
  And that would shut me up.
  
  Kids gotta fucking grow up. If some are getting pregnant at 15 and society ACCEPTS that, then they should start maturing a lot faster to "catch up"
  
  And table manners. My god.
  
  I was out to dinner with a couple mates and there was this family sitting in a booth, 3 kids. 1 baby and 2 toddlers. The 2 older children were being so rude, one was crying because he couldn't have something off the kids desert menu I think (couldn't really understand his blubbering) and the other was ripping up napkins and throwing them at his dad. The parents just ignored them. I was so tempted to waltz over there and smash their faces into their plates. Just because YOU have gotten used to your rude, obnoxious children (and have obviously taught them nothing) doesn't mean I want to listen to them all night while you stuff your faces.
  
  When I was their age (I think about 3-4) I was polite, said my "pleases" and "thank you's" and if mum or dad said no to me, I would say okay. I wouldn't throw things around, scream, cry etc.
  
  Fucking rude kids and uncaring parents.
  
  I could go on all day -_-
  
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  - bananaface
    
    11 years ago
    
    I do see where you're coming from. And I was sort of the same as you as a kid, except when I was about 3-4 I couldn't actually talk, so I didn't really have an option to be rude:P. And when I did learn to speak, I was a bit too shy to make scenes in public. Still had my moments though. Sometimes I was a right little moody cow. I don't think that means that other kids have to be that way and I don't really hold it against kids for being the way they are, because it's completely normal for them to act like that. I do feel very differently about parents, though. It's perfectly fine for children to act this way, but parents have to raise their kids properly so that they actually grow up. Bad parenting gets to me.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      11 years ago
      
      I'm not saying kids need to be perfect little angels... But they could be haha. Still doesn't change my mind though, I still think 98% are spoiled and rotten now a days. Not how it used to be late 80's...
      
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dom180

11 years ago

I'm not entirely sure why this made me angry, but it did. I'll hold my tongue though, and just say that I disagree and that while I think it's normal to hate kids, you take it to a level I don't think is normal.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  11 years ago
  
  Least I'm not like some of the people who say...
  
  "kill all the kids!"
  
  It's just not my thing. Most of my friends are starting families and I don't really understand why I'm so repulsed at the sight of their kids. Yuck.
  I never had to bond with children younger than me when I was little, so I never because used to it.
  
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[Old Memory]

7 years ago

I bet kids and parents hate you just saying .

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Justsomejerk

11 years ago

To be honest, it doesn't sound like you should breed anyway.

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kelili

11 years ago

Pfffff

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Are You Normal?

I hate kids