I find a very good friend has paid for sex on a few occasions. iin?

Your last sentence bugs me. You feel like someone you know very well has changed now that you know this....no, no,you have changed your view of him now that you know this. He was a swell guy until you found out he pays for sex. And if he continued to do it without ever telling you, you'd still think he was a swell guy. So what difference does it make really?

I would think he told you because he felt your friendship was strong enough for you not to judge him. I'm sure he was disappointed in you a little bit if he was surprised by your reaction.

So your moral compass doesn't point to hookers, that doesn't mean he is lost because his does.

I think when anyone has sex they end up paying for it in one way or another.

Thank-you all for your responses.

I still wish he had never told me.

Some of the comments have made me think about the whole issue a lot more (kind of the point of this site, I suppose).

Having said that: I am appalled. Still.

Call me judgmental if you like. It's nothing I would ever consider doing. I expected different (better?) from someone I know extremely well.

And to those who tried to turn this back on me in a sense and/or imply I am not a proper friend, how would this strike you if a a close friend decided to tell you this shit?

To those who said 'oldest profession in the world': so what? Trotting out a cliche does not make it any better. At all.

The sex addict thing is certainly worth considering. I have a high sex drive, but I could never ever think about stooping to this.

I will always be there for him as a friend. Just wish he had never told me. Some of the details were truly horrible.

If it's high class escorts I strongly disagree that it's a lack of respect. Those women choose to do this because it pays a lot better than selling burgers or working behind a desk for $3/h. I myself wish I were a hot girl to have this luxury lifestyle for little effort.

Whore's are nasty and carry diseases. Whatever you do don't drink after your friend; he's probably got something.

On prostitution and lack of respect. Who is best to choose why and when a woman has sex? The government, you, him or the actual woman herself. I think she is the best one in this scenario to decide and your implications otherwise show who truly lacks respect for women here.

I don't see the problem, He had sex with a woman that willingly wanted to have sex with him. Do you go through all his past sexual relationships and examine the woman that have been with him to ensure that the reason for sex met your standards?

Is he getting into your bedroom? because I think you should stay out of his.

Not normal at all

he paid way too much

I powersharted my shorts full

"had more respect for women"

That's right, because women should see "respect" from your perspective, right?

These women choose to do this, that is their choice, and just because you dislike it does not mean he is disrespecting them.

If anything, it is you that people would be disappointed with.

Hmm. Personally, I don't care for prostitution because the women that do it rarely actually enjoy it and they do it because they're taught that their only value is sexual. Of course, I'm sure there are exceptions, but if I am to believe all the documentaries I saw about prostitution when I was younger, I would think this goes for the majority of them.

I also don't like people who say that the women who do this chose it and they get a lot of money, so they're fine. They have "chosen" it, but like a lot of us, they don't feel like they have a choice. And once you're convinced of that, it's hard to think otherwise and make different choices. I'm sure we have all faced situations where logically, we had a different choice than the one we took, but didn't because we felt like there was no other way. I know I have.

As for your question, OP, I wouldn't say that it's abnormal to seek out prostitutes as a single guy, maybe a little less normal if one is in a relationship. However, normal doesn't mean right. Even though they "willingly" offer this service, doesn't mean that it's right to purchase it. Anyone who thinks that could compare it to any hideous, shady profession and ask themselves if it being normal or the "employee" being willing automatically makes the act morally right.

Maybe you should talk to him about it and ask the reason why he feels this need? If he already confessed it to you, I wouldn't think he has a problem talking further about it. Don't judge him right away though, if he's an addict, that's a serious condition and he should be provided with understanding and encouragement to change from his best friend.

As a man, you will have to spend money to get sex. There's no way around it. So why not the direct way?

You're the normal one in this scenario.

Prostitution is the oldest recorded profession. It's got staying power. There's an old adage that says "If it flies, floats, or fucks, it's cheaper to rent". A bit crass, for certain, but much truth is spoke in jest.

Your reaction is understandable. I find it strange that he would admit something like that to you.

People tell me all sorts of weird personal stuff that I don't need/want to know. I don't really believe them most of the time and think they just tell lies hoping I will reveal something weird about myself. I never do because I feel they might then use that personal information against me at a later date.

I know a lot of guys who were in the Navy who purchased hookers when they were abroad.

It's ironic, but often the role of the person who prostitutes themselves switches to that of the one paying for sex, when you really think about it.
I couldn't do it because it hurts my dignity.

you dont do it, that's your only concern

So hr bought a hookers. Big deal man.

Guess I'm very late to this party but hey I'll jump in:

I think you're very right to feel differently and be disappointed with your male friend.

I'm a male and I think it's super sleazy and low class to be buying whores for sex.
It shows what he thinks of female sexual activity and possibly females in general.

You sound like a quality person like myself and don't want to partake in that low class meaningless nonsense.

There's a reason why sex workers are called whores, it's because they are.
They'll do just about anything for a few bucks and those that hire them are typically low class as well.

Being a sex addict is no excuse. One can always find many ways to satisfy oneself or even get a regular lay from a friend if they absolutely need it.

Doesn't he have any skills with women?

Paying for whores also denotes that he's probably socially unskilled at picking up girls and getting laid, another undesirable quality in a male.

If he wanted random sex they why couldn't he just go to a bar and toss a rock in the air, hit a slut on the head then fuck her?

Paying for sex is like saying you're a desperate pathetic loser that can't get laid any other way because if you could you wouldn't have to go buy it.

What's wrong with it? Shes willing to get paid a lot for something im sure she enjoys too. it's not like he doesn't respect you. If it was rape then he has no respect for women