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i am 51 and recently got divorced and i feel so awkward being single at this age and how do i begin to socialise at my age.
I empathize with you, my man.
I was alone for 19 years after my second divorce; not really interested in one night stands, ladies with children or a lot of baggage, both of which are very common with women over 40. A lot of men go for foreign women in your situation, but that has it's problems as well.
A lot of lonely, depressing years of doubting I'd ever find a companion, let alone someone to love, again.
All I can say is persevere; it worked out very well for me.
You and me are in the same position precisely.
Do you work? There may be opportunities for socialising there.
I know this is old hat, but are there any clubs or societies you could join? This would instantly put you in the same place as others potentially in a similar situation, and with the advantage of common interests straightaway.
And..... don't try too hard. Nothing is worse that desperation. Things will happen when they are meant to.
I truly wish you well. Let us know how you get on.
Who knows... you have to go get social somewhere whether your spot is a bar or a church or a singles gathering where people just kind of hangout.
I'm 31 and ever since my ex, I've been an utter failure at keeping the attention of a woman for over a week. I completely forgot how to talk to them over several years without acting like a douche that comes off weird. It's more, I come off clueless because of being re-initiated into the singles game at a different maturity level. Not sure what to say... I feel ya and I'm much younger.
I have relation who are over the age of 50 and often find love with someone else once they either get divorced or break-up with their girlfriend/boyfriend. It seems that the divorce between my sixty year old granduncle and his fifty-one year old wife (of twenty-five years) wasn't even finalized by the courts before he found and started dating another woman. Then I have another granduncle who is fifty-three and shortly after he and his one wife divorced, he started dating a woman seventeen years younger than him and they now have something like ten kids? I personally don't know how they did it, but it seemed that within a month from breaking up with their spouses they were on to greener pastures so to speak.
Hi everyone
Thanks for all your comments - so i didnt mention that im a woman and rather shy at that - i come from a culture that women are subservient - this is how i grew up - i admire people that dont need other people (men) or woman for that matter and can be great on their own - and yes society does play a great part in this. Anyway i have read and noted all your comments and i appreciate it very much. i will certainly try all your ideas
thanks
Yes I respect your opinion, But Im 39 and when I go to the Mall. I have a lot of 50ish Men hitting on me. Even though I'm married. And the women who participate in these so called "Activities" expect to much from the man. And are too judgemental. That's why he's better off meeting a lady at a bar or mall. They have lower expectations. And they are looking for sex and or a relationship also. Their just easier to get. So your idea may be superior for you. But not for everyone.
Well I see your point. And respect your opinion. But Im 39 and when I go to the Mall, I See a lot of 50ish something guys trying to hit on me. Even though they see im married. But if this guy is looking for a companion, the ones who participate in these so called activities. Are too judgemental. And expect too much from the guy. The ones and Malls and Bars are easier to get. For sex and/or a relationship.
Try internet dating. I highly doubt you're interested in finding someone who's still bar hopping.
There are a 1000 dating sites. Also, you could try rec groups or sports leagues depending where you are.
You can find happiness in other ways. I wish you good luck if you want to find someone. I guess I'm strange because I have always loved being alone. There is an old saying "You can be alone but not lonely". Love it. I DO have a mate, but only when he's convenient for me. I truly treasure LOTS of time alone. Laying on the couch and eating pizza while watching a good movie. I think society has "drummed it into our heads" that we "must have someone". I don't feel a need to live with anyone or be married to them. I enjoy my own company. Maybe my self-esteem is a little higher than the average person, don't know. People stress me out and I also find some of them so boring. I don't enjoy being with a group of people who feel sorry for me because I don't have any kids. I never wanted any. I like kids but I think they're way too much work. Going to my job every day is more than enough work for me, thanks. One day a woman said to me "who will take care of you when you're old". I almost laughed in her face because I was thinking of all the poor old people in nursing homes and their kids never visit them. There's no guarantee that your kids will take care of you. I get so bored and yawn my head off when someone starts showing several photos of their kids. All I can think about is "God, please let me get home soon to my movie and pizza"! Okay, call me strange but I don't understand why people continue to bring kids into a world that has become so ugly and evil. If I had a kid I would be constantly worried about them in today's world! Thankfully, I don't have all that stress. As for married folks, I think the divorce rate would be much higher than 50% if so many couples didn't stay together for certain reasons, and NOT because they're truly in love and happy. So many of them stay for certain reasons. I know plenty of them and I have to nod my head and think "Jeez, why do they stay, life is short". And I wish some married people would stop feeling sorry for single people. You sound so ridiculous. Believe me, there are far worse things than singlehood. I'd rather be single and in perfect health than be married to a great person but find myself blind, in lots of pain and in a wheelchair. Call me crazy if you want to, but to me, good health is more important than love. And I wish everyone out there a very healthy and happy life.
You probably don't understand this now, but you will when you mature a bit, but getting laid isn't the end all and be all of relationships.
By the time a man reaches 50, he (hopefully) should have all the notches on his gun he needs and a great companion beats the hell out of a fuck buddy.
American women especially, but most women in general are seeking security and when they are young they have the "tools" to get it. After a divorce or two and a couple of kids, they are usually pretty disillusioned and jaded, making any relationship with them difficult if not downright impossible.
Most American young women have absolutely no interest in older men, though the security they seek would be more certain than with some "hot" young stud.
So after 50, again especially in the US, the pickings become very slim, if one is seeking a friend and lover, even though older guys are more financially stable, and have learned from their previous relationships how best to care for and please a woman.
Getting into clubs and taking up activities such as sailing, hiking, bike riding (motor or pedal), etc. where one might meet the sort of woman one seeks, is by far a superior idea to "Mall and Bars".