I feel safer when i have my........
gun... I used to be abit of a chav. I'm a changed man to say the least. All my friend say I'm a nerdy black guy now. It all started in high/secondary school, when some boy tried to mug me on the bus, I had this new math set with a double pointed compass and a normal compass both of which had RIDICULOUSLY long points. They were basically like knives, anyways where I would usually be really nervous I felt this incredible surge of confidence and bravery, I then literally grinned and told him I will fuck his shit up (pulled out the compass) and he got off the bus.So I began bringing it everywhere. From there I started getting involved with gangs and such thinking I was such a badman. Long story short I was given a gun and to this day I still sometimes carry it with me. The thing is I HARDLY EVER get stopped and searched anymore, and the fact that I dress soooo proper just adds to my confidence carrying it. I know I will be arrested and definitely face prison time if caught with it (guns might be illegal where I am :P) I also never run into problems in my area anymore (I used to live in a area where the boys would try me often as a student)But I honestly feel naked without it. I always imagine a situation where I'm trapped by a group of boys without it and get hurt. Thing is, I fucking hate cowards that shank and shoot people, rob school kids. But I feel guilty now becuz I could be that guy. What should I do?? Should I go back to carrying LONG ASS compasses. Or carry nothing again? I just don't wanna fall victim to some hood BULLSHIT. Had too many friends get hurt/killed over trying to be like that. N if you just wanna talk shit about me for being honest thats cool. But Is It normal that I practically feel naked without my gun but am now completely separated from that lifestyle?