I feel no love for my son

oh boy! i am sure most of your problem is that your husband left you. also, not all women have what they call "maternal instinct". not every woman is made up to be a mother, and that is not a bad thing, until, of course you become one.

because your situation is a serious one, i urge you to find some kind of help besides here. i mean face to face, counseling or social services, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because, frankly, your children really need you to love and care for them.

do you have a good support system, mother, sisters, friends? go to them, that's what they are there for. don't go through this alone, because it's not necessary.

you don't have to be so frank and say you don't feel love for your baby. just say that you don't feel right about the situation and that you need help feeling loving enough towards him, or something like that.

good luck don't forget, your baby is not your ex husband, he is a totally different person except for a few genes.

try to forgive. slowly but sure. because if your children don't get enough love, they will grow into bad people

Ohh, please go to see a professional as soon as you can kids are really sensitive toward those kind of emotions and they will end up paying for your anger, What you got is a projection...You project your colera toward the kids because you feel furious with your husband, they will realize you feel that way Please treat it before it destroys the 3 of you.

Loving everything is overrated. As long as you look after him, that is all that matters. My mom matters to me, but often, I feel void of love towards her. Love is weird in whatever context you look at it. Even a lot of bfs I have had in the past, I kind of loved but then couldn't find it in me anymore, as if it had just vanished. It comes and goes and then you realise it is never coming back.

could be postpartum depression. I'd advise seeking professional help.

I think you are a great mom despite the fact you feel no love for your son. You realise the problem, and you've taken the first step, finding out if this is normal and looking into it. Which it is totally normal and totally common! Do NOT think you are the only one. Last year alot happenned and alot changed in your life, you have some emotional trauma that you have to deal with. Get help! No one will judge you, the loving caring people who help people like you for a living love their jobs and love to help, and theres probably nothing you could say they havent heard before (if its any consellation there are women who get urges to kill their babies so yah...) Good luck!

I get it. So whenever you see him, you think of your husband, right? I think you sound find something; anything; that makes your son not seem like his dad. Anything to seperate him from memories of his dad. Don't worry, I'm sure with time, the bond will come. :)

I'm a guy do you may be thinking what the he'll do you know. Nothing from personal experience. I did some consulting work for a daycare. And I learned something very interesting (which may be a no brained to all of you females..I found it interesting). It was explained to me that many women have no feelings or I'll feelings for their newborn. It was explained that this is perfectly normal. There is a maternal bond, but it has to be nurtured like any other relationship. So, not to worry. The features that you couldn't stand will probably cease as you create that bond. Good luck, little mother!!

i am also a single mom. I felt remorse towards my daughter for a few months then realized that she does not deserve to be treated like crap, and that she did not ask to be brough up in this broken world(meaning broken family)
She is everything and my only in my world. everything i do is for her. from work, to staying at home with her. you should really have some family in your life to support you. and if you truly feel you don't love your kids and don't want them, give them up for adoption. you can surrender in the hopsitals -the ER usually has a sign that says "Safe Place" meaning if you don't want your kid you can bring them and give it to them. they will take it from there.
Also I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IF YOUD O GIVE YOUR CHILDREN AND UNBORN BABY UP-GET YOURSELF FIXED, OR GET A CONTRACEPTIVE PLACED IN YOUR UTERUS SO YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS AGAIN.

I think you solved your own problem.

OP is a bitch. Simple as that.

i forgot to mention post-partum. call your doctor right away and be honest about everything.

This is really sad, and I feel awful for you. I hope things work out for you. I'm sure in time, you will love your boys, since they are your's. Good luck!

Just wait it out. You're going through a rough patch, feeling some resentment. He is your own- you'll learn to love him.

Dont lisn to any of the silly people saying you're horrible. You're going threw a rough time and are most likly going threw Post-Natal Depression. Dont worry, you are not a bad person! Just take advice from the more reasonable people, get help, see a doctor, counsler, go see social services. Do not, try to deal with this on your own. It takes more than will power to get past this. Dont be afraigd to ask for help. The very best of luck to you.

You can get threw this and will, just seek help.

I agree with everyone above. It is very important that you find a network so that you don't have to do this alone. I also want to stress that you not put this off until 'later' or 'after baby #2 is born'. In a sense, you need to put yourself first because I would hate to see depression (or worse) develop as a result. Don't give up <3

The past is the past. You need to try to forget the fact your husband left you. It is not your son's fault that he left you. Try to love the new life you have been given. Try to forgive the fact that your husband left. Remember it's not your baby's fault. He is a new life to be loved.

You might be numb or sort of 'in shock' because of your break up. I know a lot of my friends describe feeling nothing for no one after a serious break up or divorce. I too, feel counsling would be best for you. You are not a bad person or anything like that. You are suffering emotionally and you are going through something more difficult than you can handle. Find support through friends, family, single mothers groups or spiritual groups if you can. Once again, it is normal to feel mixed and confused feelings after a failed relationship, even with children. Please get some kind of help or support so you can feel better about yourself and your babies.