I feel like my boyfriend raped me, iin?

43% Normal
5 Comments

Last night me and my boyfriend got drunk and were hanging out together, we're both 19 and have been dating for awhile. We started having sex and it was fine until he started getting really rough. He's always been pretty rough in bed, and he knows I like it rough too, but he's really selfish and inconsiderate when we have sex. Last night (when we've never really had anal) he kept shoving his dick in me completely dry in the ass and he wouldn't stop despite me being in obvious pain, and he'd be really rough and jackhammer. Whenever I'd try to get him to stop with my hands or push him away he'd pin them behind my back and keep going, I didn't say anything but it was painful and it made me feel really used, and I was showing some obvious signs I wanted him to stop. I feel violated as if he raped me, I was in a really good mood all day but suddenly started to feel really depressed and on edge, and I think it's because of last night. I already know he's into rape porn. Is this normal? He literally couldn't care less about my needs or wants during sex. Maybe I wouldn't go as far as saying he raped me, but he definitely violated me sexually.

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43% Normal
Based on 14 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    What he did constitutes rape. He forced something on you that you didn't want and only cared about his own pleasure not your suffering. You could have him charged but leaving him is probably better in the long run.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    That sounds like rape to me! Why are you even with a guy who treats you so badly, and doesn't care about your needs or wants? Why would you want to be with a loser piece of shit guy who is selfish and inconsiderate? Did you say, "no, or stop"? If you wanted to you could call the police and ask them what they think.

    Also, have you washed or rather how thoroughly did you wash? because a rape kit at the hospital could possibly turn up some sperm if he didn't use a condom? The truth is that your shitty boyfriend is a rapist. You could dump him, report him to the police for rape and take out a restraining order.

    My stupid ex used to ask me if I would let him have anal, and I would always tell him that the only way to have anal with me is if he lets me peg him first! I was half kidding, but also a little serious, because he's not entitled to that from me!

    I'm going to look up a hotline number for you to call.

    Checkout RAINN:

    Call 800.656.HOPE (4673)

    https://www.rainn.org/get-help?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_bzCo6mj3QIVHrnA
    Ch0jYwsoEAAYASAAEgKu7vD_BwE

    I'm not going to elaborate too much, but your boyfriend is the kind of guy who deserves to have a lot of painful and unpleasant things happen to his person.

    Seriously, why are you with this awful guy? You should put on your ASICS, and run away from this awful guy!

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  • Jaystr
    5 years ago

    If you feel violated, then chances are, uou were

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    Maybe you wouldn't go so far as saying he raped you, but many would.

    The guy sounds like a dickhead, but if you've led him to believe that you like it rough, then you have to expect him to keep pushing the boundaries.

    Why didn't you say anything? Are you one of those daft women who believes that men are psychic and should be able to read your mind? I wouldn't be surprised if he either didn't see the "obvious signs" you wanted him to stop, or he took them as you joining in the rape fantasy running in his head. Some women are into that.

    There's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy about rough sex or a man taking a woman forcibly, but the couple should talk about this in a non-sexual setting and negotiate rules.

    The big issue in your relationship isn't the rough sex or even the forced anal sex, it's this:

    "He literally couldn't care less about my needs or wants during sex."

    You have good reason to feel depressed, because you're clearly willing to be in a relationship with a guy who doesn't give a shit about doing what you want or making you feel good during sex. You need to take a step back and ask yourself why you're willing to accept that. People don't stay in a relationship unless they're powerless to leave, they believe it's the best they can do, or they're getting something they need from it.

    Ask yourself what the payoff for you is, and then consider whether that's really healthy. If sex with him leaves you feeling depressed and used, I strongly suspect it isn't.

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  • Lestat565
    5 years ago

    You have to say no when you don’t like something. He sounds like a real asshole. But this doesn’t legally constitute rape. That being said. When he sees that your in pain and uncomfortable he needs to stop. If he’s so stupid to not be able to see when he’s hurting you he doesn’t deserve to have sex with you.

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