I feel like i am scarred for life and can’t have sex

My parents had my sister and I when they were very young shortly after they split. My dad was a drunk and my mom who was an attractive younger woman still liked to party. We were never set up with baby sitters me and my sister were always just left to fend for ourselves me being about 9 and she was a little younger. We grew up in a small apartment with 2 bedrooms and paper thin walls me and my sister shared a room. We were woken up almost every night to my mom coming home anytime from midnight to 3-4 in the morning. We started greeting her only to find her and a different guy shooing us back to our room. No sooner would our doors shut and we would be kept up by a loud steady clapping sound. One morning I Finally asked my mom what all the noise was? she would say it’s a big people game try not to listen and get some sleep. The older I got the more curious I got I was never getting any sleep and my mom telling me it was a “game” what else was I to do. One night I snuck out of my room crept to my moms door opened it a crack only to find my moms bf (at the time) behind my mom on the bed fully naked hearing loud and clear what’s been causing all the clapping. Being a young kid scared confused worried helpless I ran to my bed got under the covers and never left my room again at night. The vision and the sounds stick in my head like nothing else I have never told my mom and the guys/clapping didn’t stop until we finally moved to a bigger place with my own room. I’m at the age now where I’m having sex which I feel like never really enjoy anyways my boyfriend has been pretty much begging for “doggy” as he calls it and I don’t know if I could stand to hear .. the sounds again. I feel like I’m scarred for life I don’t want this to affect my relationships or my future.