I feel angry at parents who complain about their autistic children.

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16 Comments

I often read about people complaining about how hard it is to raise a child with autism. It gets irritating because when you choose to have a kid you should be willing to accept them for however they are and if you cannot do that you shouldnt have had children to begin with.
Recently a friends sister shot her teenage daughter who was diagnosed wih aspergers and then turned the gun on herself. People say how great of a mother she was and how hard it must have been but I see it as selfish. Autism is hard enough for the person living with it so fuck all the people who try to accuse someone of being burdening for being a way they didnt even choose.

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68% Normal
Based on 28 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • howaminotmyself
    8 years ago

    Such an extreme example. Clearly the mother had mental issues herself.

    Do you have kids? Kids are hard work. I love my children with every ounce of my being. However I complain about the reality of it on occasion. This doesn't make me a bad mother, just human. I'm exhausted most of the time and my body aches from sleeping in strange positions. Yes, my temper is sometimes short and I whine about life. We all do, kids or no kids.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    I can't speak for everyone but I would terminate the pregnancy of a disabled or special needs child. You can make the argument being a parent is a life long commitment but nobody wants a perpetual child as a son or daughter.

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    • harddrystickysocks
      8 years ago

      I want you inside me....on the freeway.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        You gotta earn it first....sexy.

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    • craftymom24
      8 years ago

      Too bad your mother didn't terminate her pregnancy with you.

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      • [Old Memory]
        8 years ago

        Do you think she should have?

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        • craftymom24
          8 years ago

          Let me put it this way: I don't think your mother should have terminated her pregnancy with you any more than you or anyone else should terminate the pregnancy of a disabled or a special needs child. They have just as much right to live as anyone else, and there is a lot available that helps those with special needs live a full life. Your comment above tells me that you feel perfectly justified in taking such a chance away from someone with a disability because they wouldn't be what you wanted in a child. What if your mother terminated her pregnancy with you because she had the idea that you wouldn't be what SHE wanted in a child??

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            Yes, I understand and truly wish to experience empathy in regards to your situation.

            Unfortunately I'm a realist. Special needs children and development disabled children will not survive the next historical upheaval. I wish they would but nature is nature.

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    When people decide to have children, they are basically signing up for an 18 year commitment, not a life long one with a child unable to care for itself. If you can't see the difference, then it is you who deserve pity, not them.
    I have absolutely no idea what it would be like to raise a mentally handicapped child, but I do imagine it means the end of any hopes and dreams the parents might have had for a normal life and any hope of a financially secure retirement, in the US.

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  • craftymom24
    8 years ago

    Three of my four sons fall on the autism spectrum, and it disgusts me to hear stories like that!! Those boys have taught me so much about myself, and the love they show me makes me so happy to be their mom! When I think of parents that throw that possibility away because what seems like an inconvenience to them, it sickens me!!

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  • Riddler
    8 years ago

    Well OP most parents do not believe in that ethic and this does not just apply to those of Autistic children. People are very selfish and a lot of times they want the child to be what they want, not what the child is. My parents wanted to be my brother but he was very smart and lazy and has no motivation. I was always head strong and wanted to play, and do sports and exercise and my parents said no sports are dangerous. Its not fun sitting around getting fat and stupid just because parents dont care

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    8 years ago

    Oh for fucks sake, most of our problems are due to issues that we caused for ourselves and yet we still complain. It's better to vent and complain than to shove lead in your brain.

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  • harddrystickysocks
    8 years ago

    My girlfriend is aspergers so say her doctors. It is not very noticeable though. Everyone is unique and has their own set of challenges. It is when people start labeling that judgements become nasty or ignorant. If parents are too short sighted to figure out how to adapt and handle and raise their kids, whatever issue the kid may have, then those parents shouldn't have had kids to begin with.

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  • Ellenna
    8 years ago

    So what's your question? We can't vote Yes or No without a question.

    Are you really saying that parents with special needs children shouldn't ask for and get extra help? Complaining about the child itself is another matter, but surely only a few very immature & selfish parents would do that: from what I've seen most parents care for their kids no matter what & do their best for them.

    Your story about the mother who shot her daughter and then herself is hardly typical or parents with kids on the autism scale and I agree she was selfish.

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I suppose the question is iin to be angry.
      I just realized I do that on a lot of my posts where I will ask a statement, but with the intent of asking if the statement is something people agree with.

      People should be able to ask for help, but I see a lot of parents in the autism community who complain about how their child is burdening and it irritates me because they shouldnt have kids if they cannot accept possible problems that comes with it.

      I was also irritated from reading comments on facebook sympathizing with the mother, which would be inapproperiate to express on there since it was someone associated with my friend group from the bar, although I did not know them personally, so I expressed my anger on here to people who do not have attachment to the situation.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        I don't think it matters much if parents have a bit of a vent about how hard it is to care for an autistic child, as long as it's not in the child's hearing, as long as they are in fact caring for the child properly.

        But I do sort of know what you mean: after all kids don't ask to be born and once they are, they're the responsibility of their parents no matter what.

        I have no sympathy at all for the woman you're writing about: sympathy for her situation but no sympathy for her selfish solution

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