I feel alone....

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I am a 18 year old freshman in college at the moment and I honestly feel alone. I was always pretty popular. I know many people. People sometimes greet me by name meanwhile i don't even recognize meeting them. Through out high school I was faced with this same problem. I was an athlete with tons of friends from freshmen year all the way to senior. I would always find my self feeling sad and alone, sometimes even while being around my small group of close friends. I had thought my feelings had changed since my graduation last year but recently I find myself slipping back into my sadness. Being out of high school really opened my eyes to how actually alone I am. I dont have anyone in my life I can talk about these let alone any of my feelings with. I just dont know. Sometimes i really look at my life. I want to blame my "close friendless life" on the fact that i most times build many distant relationships with people rather than a close one with an individual but it is unintentional. How can I work on changing that ?

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Comments ( 22 )
  • flamer180
    8 years ago

    Try to get close to one person who you like.

    Then maybe you'll feel more satisfied

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  • Eat.My.Fuck
    8 years ago

    Yeah try and suffer that for ten years past college without ever having successfully gotten a girlfriend for no apparent reason and then we'll talk.

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    • mysistersshadow
      8 years ago

      so many of you guys on this website just don't get it. Your bitter and cynical and have hostile and even sexist opinions of women and then you wonder why you can't get a girlfriend or get laid. When you go to a store to buy some thing do you look for the one where the box was obviouly dropped or is torn open and is broken or has parts missing? For most women a relationship is a investment and we don't want obviously damaged guys. Confidence and a positive attitude go a long way but negatively won't get you anything except those women that want to fix you which is a recipe for disaster.

      If you tried to get a girlfriend for 10 years and couldn't theres a reason it just isn't apparent to you.

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      • Cocomilktitties
        8 years ago

        I think that's a huge truth right there. "For most women a relationship is a investment"

        As a guy though, I will say that makes it difficult sometimes. Because I feel like for a lot of women, looking for a relationship is kinda like shopping in a store. And sometimes it's hard to tell if they really have feelings for a guy on a personal level, or they just like certain things about him and certain things that he represents. Whether they really like "him" or whether they just like any guy who has "a,b,and c".

        But that isn't to say that I don't think there are also lots of truly genuine girls out there who really, truly love whoever they're with and are really in relationships for love. I see that all the time.

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      • Eat.My.Fuck
        8 years ago

        I think the confidence thing is really out of hand with women. My best friends who once saw that I was shy allowed me to open up and get to know each other. No women have ever allowed that to happen. Most women just want false alpha males who act cocky.

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        • mysistersshadow
          8 years ago

          There is a differece between confident and cocky if you don't know what it is then that may be the problem. And how can anyone not allow you to open up? Are you waiting for some kind of signal that its ok? If thats the case you'll be waiting a long time thats where the whole confidence thing comes in. But if this signal did exist how would you ever get it if you stayed in your house? Back to my shopping analogy do you expect women to come around and knock at your door inquiring if there are any anxiety stricken introverts that need some snuggle time?

          I'm sure theres hope for you though you just may have to either step up your game like actually trying to meet women or lower your standards to the girls that maybe aren't physically beautiful or socially adept or maybe both. I assure you there are alot of them out there and if your 10 years out of college you shouldn't have much trouble finding them unless theres more wrong than just social anxiety that yoy haven't mentioned.

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          • Eat.My.Fuck
            8 years ago

            I'll be alright. I only just started leaving the house. I got a job and worked my way up. Got into school. What's upsetting is that I didn't even have to tell anyone I work with..they just assumed by my demeanor that I was either a virgin or someone who hasn't gotten it in a long long time.

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          • cocklips
            8 years ago

            Women make terrible decisions with men also. You do have a point regarding what you are saying about cynical or bitter, but the "modern" woman is difficult to understand. Saying it's all on the guys is just completely untrue.

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            • mysistersshadow
              8 years ago

              Guess it just depends on if you want to be successful.

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          • [email protected]
            8 years ago

            I don't know your age but you are very wise and insightful ! You really are.

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      • Eat.My.Fuck
        8 years ago

        No I didn't really try. I just stayed inside the house because of crushing anxiety.

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  • Cocomilktitties
    8 years ago

    It's normal. I think most people feel a sense of loneliness in their own way. The most obvious way I think is when people just have a hard time making friends. But then, like you mentioned, sometimes people have a bunch of friends and people they know and talk to, but they still feel lonely because maybe they feel like there's a lot on the inside that they feel they can't share with people. Or they feel a little left out or something.

    But just know that it really is normal. My freshman year of college started out being one of the loneliest times of my life. My first night I cried alone in my dorm. It got better for me because I got a group of friends (about 4-5 people) and spent a lot of time doing stuff. It was a big change from high school for me because unlike you, I wasn't too popular in high school and was kind of a nobody.. maybe had 2-3 friends at best and they weren't always close friendships. But I think what helped me in college is that I made friends with people who I felt had similarities to me and even in a way or two had a couple little "weird" things about them. But I think that made my friendships better.

    I still felt lonely sometimes though and still sometimes do. Even if I spend time with friends, sometimes I feel like there's a lot that I can't or don't tell and a lot that I'm not sure I know how to express. I think what helps sometimes to develop better friendships is to be friends with people that aren't seeking the lime light. Because those people will be much more willing to be a good friend.

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  • Kuroemon2002
    8 years ago

    Lots of people feel like that, you're not alone. My advice:
    1. Try to get close to a person you think he/she may understand your feels.
    2. Try to adopted a dog. Sometimes animals could understand your feelings better than human.
    3. Don't became a nerd like me. You may find things to entertainment your self, or you may become even more lonely.

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  • ThingTwo
    8 years ago

    I am lonely. You just get used to it. It sort of turns into solitude.

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    • spark007
      7 years ago

      Completely agree, I've just learned how to transform the loneliness that I've experienced throughout my life into a form of a peaceful contentment.

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  • Bookwyrmbard
    8 years ago

    I would have to second flamer's idea in a different fashion. I have felt similarly, and when someone I liked asked me out, I felt better. I think this is a romantic urge rather than a social one.

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