I fall asleep while reading to my daughter, iin?

88% Normal
23 Comments

My wife and I have an issue. My daughter who's 10 loves for me to read to her in bed. I've put a big emphasis on exposing my daughter to books, so ever since age two, I've been reading to her.

I really like the bonding experience of reading a story together or reading separately in bed and cuddling a little bit. My daughter is very wiry during the day, and sometimes at night she shares with me what's going on at school and stuff. I am in my pajamas and so is my daughter. I have ZERO sexual feelings for my daughter.

I read to my daughter in bed about three times a week, and about once or twice a week tops I fall asleep. I have no desire to fall asleep in the same bed as my daughter. I just want the intimacy of reading together. When I wake up to go the bathroom (which I always do), I never return to the bed where my daughter is sleeping.

If my wife sees me asleep in the same bed as my daughter she is FURIOUS! She says that it's sick and I'm sick.

My wife on the other hand will at least once a week spend the whole night with my daughter.

My wife wants me to read to my daughter on the couch, and when it's time for bed to send her off. For me this isn't as cozy.

To appease my wife, I've even set up a timer a few times to wake me up if I fall asleep. This works.

This evening I got deathly tired, so after reading to her, I left my daughter to go to the extra bedroom to get some undisturbed sleep. My daughter crawled into bed with me, and I was too tired to stop her (but I admit that I was awake enough to cuddle her as I fell asleep).

When I awoke to noises my wife was making and got out of bed to spend time with my wife, she flipped out at me, saying she is through with me and that I'm as sick as sick can be.

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88% Normal
Based on 66 votes (58 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • moomus
    12 years ago

    I am a single parent and sometimes my 10 year old son sleeps in with me, as does my 13 year old daughter and 3 year old daughter. I never sleep with them naked or semi nude, nor do they. There's absolutely nothing sexual about it at all. No different to an animal sleeping with their young. My boyfriend sometimes has his 10 year old daughter in with him too, same as, nothing untoward. I can't see a problem in it. If people get funny and accuse me of being weird then as far as I'm concerned they have the problem because I have nothing to hide and am completely innocent. It's like saying if my dog sleeps on my bed I must be into bestiality. Crazy. I fall asleep on sofa with kids sometimes, is that wrong too? I don't think the problem lies with you, and I know that lots of people do it. Ok, different if you were sleeping with her when she's 18! I can't see the harm in sharing a bed with your kids

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    I have a teenage son and both my husband and I used to regularly fall asleep while reading to him when he was little. Your poor wife has become paranoid about sexual abuse. There's too much about it in the media, but it's in the news coz it's unusual and not the norm.

    Your wife should be more concerned if the child didn't want you in her room, or to be alone with you, that would raise red flags.

    Your wife may have her own issues from childhood but she should know you better than that. Honestly, there is no-one more particular about their child than me but I believe this to be totally innocent. All your wife has to do is nudge you awake if you fall asleep- which is only to be expected if you work all day.

    Ask your wife to lighten up before your daughter detects the atmosphere or picks up what her mom's problem is - this could generate false memories in later life!

    Good luck and keep reading to her.

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  • keyboardist
    12 years ago

    Thanks a lot everyone. My wife was really making me feel like a weirdo. She has a major problem with hostility, especially towards me, that she will not admit.

    Anyway, ever since this last flare up, she will not talk to me, and my daughter sleeps with her in the master bedroom while I sleep in the guest room. Not a sustainable situation.

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    • joybird
      12 years ago

      Aw that's so sad! Don't forget that you have equal rights for access to your daughter - your wife needs a therapist. Did you not show her these posts?

      Sleep in your own bed, you've done nothing wrong - let her sleep in the guest room! Put your foot down and stop letting her control the situation.

      Seems to me like she's looking an excuse to exclude you - no way!!

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  • JuliusE
    12 years ago

    I can understand why your wife feels uncomfortable and all, but she should have realized by now there is ZERO sexual intimacy going on and lighten the hell up. It's still a good idea to not fall asleep in there and everything but you need to have a serious discussion with your wife. This might sound messed up but your wife MIGHT be jealous of the time you spend with and attention you pay to your daughter.

    Maybe let your daughter know if she wants to cuddle if she's scared at night or something to do so either with her mom or only with you while you're in your bed with your wife. This is, of course, unnecessary in many respects, but it is important you keep the trust in your marriage and calm your wife's fears.

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    • Shackleford96
      12 years ago

      Wow, you actually had something helpful and non-offensive to say. I am a little disappointed... Lol.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    your wife is a maniac

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  • Sweetz
    12 years ago

    What she needs is a dick in her mouth.

    She is overreacting and is jelous of your bonding time with your daughter. Suggest to your wife why not the she join in on story time...like the both of you read to your daughter TOGETHER.

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    • keyboardist
      12 years ago

      Please no obscene comments. I would like to show this page to my wife, because she said to me, "Why don't you ask other people what they think."

      I did ask ask a therapist and my best friend, and they thought it was ok for me to read to my daughter in bed with my pajamas on, and it's not surprising that I would nod off sometimes.

      It did occur to me that there might be a problem with jealousy.

      A few times every week, my wife is out and about in the evening. It was on such an evening that this last incident occurred.

      My wife thinks that I am defending myself because I want to sleep with my daughter, but I absolutely do not. I just feel that by not being able to read together in bed that I lose my ability to bond with my daughter. I'm happy to use a timer or to be woken up by my wife if I nod off.

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      • Shackleford96
        12 years ago

        As the original poster of this story, you have the ability to hide comments if you so choose.

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      • Sweetz
        12 years ago

        Oh, so she's going to see my comment :| i forgot to mention the just kidding part ...... I appologize for my unnecessary comment.

        I don't see anything wrong with you reading to your daughter in your pajamas. She should be able to trust you. Maybe you should spend more time with your wife too.

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        • shuggy-chan
          12 years ago

          ohhhhhhh, ur in trouble....=P

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          • blueyesamy
            12 years ago

            love all ur comments XD

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  • cgibso12
    12 years ago

    Your wife is too uptight. It is good that you and your daughter get along so well. She sounds a bit jealous. Strange. Do you have a son? If not have another child. HaHa. To solve your problem both of you can read together. The reason you fall asleep is because you get comfy. If the timer works, keep it up. I am a woman and I would always read to my 2 Boys. My husband would get a little upset when I fell asleep with them. He wanted me in bed with him. That is the same with your wife. It is not sick what you do. She is jealous cuz she wants you with her. How she said it is sick is rather strange. I wonder if she had issues with her dad. Hmmmm

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  • almostunreadable
    12 years ago

    Your wife is brainwashed.

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  • shuggy-chan
    12 years ago

    dude, ur wife need to lighten up. shit. i mean if ur daughter wanted to sleep in the bed with both of u would that be sick? she need to go make u a GOD DAMN SAMMICH and CHILL THE FUCK OUT. well thats my opinion anyway

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  • jb95
    11 years ago

    your wife is a hypocryte or maybe she was abused as a kid and just thinks your doing the same to your daughter but if shes just being stupid leave her hell sounds like your daughter loves you more and your wife is just jealous

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  • keyboardist
    12 years ago

    I would like to thank people for replying.

    I see a therapist 2x a month, mostly to deal with the emotional abuse I get from my wife in this and other spheres. I've been trying to get her to a therapist to manage her hostility for the last 9 years. We have a spiritual mentor with whom I've described some of her behaviors, and he is going to talk with her about seeing a counselor when he's in town next month. I'm at the end of my rope.

    I will reiterate that there is nothing sexual in nature going on.

    I posted to this website because my wife declared that what I was doing was "sick," and that anyone who heard about it would agree. I wondered if she was right. Because it does become a fine line. Because while there's no problem with sleeping with a child at age 2, there is at age 17. So I was asking about age 10, both in pj's, reading a book together, father gets exhausted and nods off.

    So I went to my best buddy who's unmarried. He said it didn't sound unhealthy. Then I went to my therapist. She said it didn't sound unhealthy. Then I went to this website, and it looks like 91% think I'm an upstanding member of the human race.

    So thanks!

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    • YagM
      12 years ago

      Wow dude good luck!

      And I hope your daughter doesn't pick a side of this and decide one of you is THE BAD.

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    • Wonderlost
      12 years ago

      I hope everything works out.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    I knew this dad that said the exact same things you did, (he hardly ever mentioned it) and all of his friends literally think he is sexual fondling his daughter to sleep. ITY??

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    LOL That's kind of funny. x]

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  • Shackleford96
    12 years ago

    There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. You are completely innocent in my opinion.

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