I fail at social communication

I CAN RELATE TO YOU. YOU NEED A GAME PLAN ENVISION YOURSELF AS THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE.ENVISION THE CHARACTER OF THAT PERSON, THE PERSONALITY TRAITS OF THAT PERSON. NOW ACT!! LIKE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. ONLY CHANGE FOR YOURSELF. IF YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE TODAY THEN DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED TO CONFORM AND BE NORMAL. NORMAL IS OVERRATED.

I've got advice for you mate. Stop worrying about other people liking you; BE YOURSELF!

Dude you don't know if other people find you annoying and who cares? F7ck I find OTHER people annoying, what do I care if they think I am annoying? You should not either. If you make a friend with someone that's just great. If you don't who cares? You don't need that person. You just need yourself.

Worry about making yourself happy and being happy with yourself instead worrying about what other people think. Trust me this helps, makes it allot easier to make friends when you like yourself.

There's probably nothing really wrong w you dude. When I was in college I had no friends, couldn't help but be an a**hole, etc. I couldn't say anything the way it was supposed to be said. I wanted to be liked, but whenever I talked everybody was like, 'why don't you just f**k off.' Over the years I just learned how to be a decent/normal person etc. It sux that some people are born well-adjusted, and other people have to languish for years trying to attain it, but that's just the way life is...trust me: you'll be fine!! :P

I know EXACTLY what you mean. You're self-conscious so you talk fast such as to get rid of what you want to say. You talk fast but can't keep up so you stutter and mumble, your stuttering makes you even more self-conscious so you repeat the whole cycle. Practice talking slower, in a lower pitched voice and only saying things that make sense or are truly funny. Never try too hard in an obvious way. Maybe drinking a bit of alcohol might help as well. Never say something and then immediately say hehe because that's a sign of low confidence too.

If you want to become friends with people, you might need to start being more understanding. Not trying to throw anything on you, but when other people think that what THEY have to say is more important, so important that they have to interrupt me...it's irritating. People might do this to you, but maybe you do it to them, also. There are a bunch of tricks you can do to improve your speech, I assume. But I think the bigger problem is how you speak and interact with others. Don't assume that you're the center of the discussion all the time and that you have to get it all out. If you're seeking advice from a friend, that's one thing. But if you're just having a normal conversation, understand that those type of interactions are call-and-response. You need to allow people to have space to respond to what you're saying.
Just be patient; I'm sure you'll find somebody you click with in time. Best of luck to you!

I don't have the specific problems that you do, but I empathise. Why can't I socialise and talk with others easily like normal people? Omg even online it happens that conversations don't come easily to me. It's hard work knowing how to get it right. I will panic a little when I don't know what to say. I will think "what would someone else , who is good at this stuff say?!" Then I'll end up killing the conversation.

I don't have a lisp or anything, but after getting braces a few years back (I am convinced that I didn't need them!!!!) the way my teeth have been re-arranged causes me problems from time to time I think. Or sometimes, I'll say a word wrong and feel like an idiot, so I'll repeat it but still pronouncing it wrong and the idiot cycle repeats itself. I hate it when that happens, because I know how to say the word dammit but the panic/idiot feeling makes things worse.

Social skills are things that you've gotta learn. It doesn't come oh so naturally to everyone.

Oh yeah, I've found that with respect to speaking, consciously slowing down your speach helps a lot. You're less likely to stumble and so on. I learnt this when I was chosen to read something out for an assembly one day in the distant past and it sounded catastrophic, so the teacher told me to SLOW DOWN and STRESS CERTAIN WORDS. Try it out by yourself to get the balance right, so you don't exaggerate it too much and sound idiotic.

Just be slow, slow it down. You know the problems, instead of writing about them, why not trying to socialize differently than usual. Try Hi, my name is ____ and wait for the other person to talk back, then spark a conversation... you say something, then they say something... keep it short, sweet and to the point.

lol none of what anyone says helps much eh?
its normal enough
irksome that if u say ur a loser ppl assume its a guy tho aint it >:(

i feel bad for ya, one of your main problems is you acknowledge alot of the problems you (think) you have and dwell on them..become go with the flow and dont make an effort to make friends and talk to people..a simple 'hey' or 'whatsup' and then go to doing your own thing is better than introducing yourself and your life story thats annoying. ive been there man im a completely different person now alot of it comes with maturing over the years at that age you constantly care about how you look/sound/etc

Dude, read up on some dating guides. Now don't get me wrong. Dating guides aren't just dating guides. They actually open up (unintentionally) the whole structure behind socialising itself. Seriously, after just 8 months of reading these guides and applying them in real life I can pick up girls whenever, wherever I want, and do anything as I please. Start with something basic like How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. Most IMPORTANTLY, be observant. Observe how the socially-adapt people talk. Ask yourself questions about how they do it. Learn from your mistakes. One thing at a time. Be yourself: say your jokes your way, talk your way, move your way, redefine whatever your way. All these idioms fall into place as well. For an advanced level, read something like Dating to Relating: From A to Z by Dr. L Rx. Also, watch movies on James Bond and Cary Grant. Note these guys posture, attitudes, behaviour around women, etc. This tips will help your social life in SO MANY WAYS. The money, time, effort, attention (tears) I've spent enhancing myself has PAID OFF.

Best wishes.

@ Akerberus - Wrong topic bud

I've been a lot like that most of my life too.

It's mostly because of numerous traumatic things that have happened to me over the years, which make me have to filter most everything I ever think about saying like 3 times before it finally makes sense to others or doesn't offend them. It takes time to do the filtering, and anyone that knows me knows that I can communicate just fine, but mostly at my own pace, typed or written.

There are exceptions when I speak at full or even excessive volumes, very fast, and without even so much as a hint of stuttering, but when I'm like this, someone has really pissed me off something awful and I'm calling them on their b/s. I've even considered trying to tap into this without being angry, but it doesn't work so well. So I usually stay pretty quiet most of the time.

1. The guy is most likely cheating on you
2. The physical part of a relationship is pretty important, especially at that age. you need to have non-serious relationships to get ready for the big ones that will come up as an adult

The only thing you need to do is be in the moment when you're having a conversation with someone.
Listen, you don't always need to talk. Having conversations is like a chess game - they make their move, you analyze and make yours. And so forth, but the intent is not to kill. I guess it's really to get what you desire from that person, be it emotional rewards, physical objects, access to other people.
Just calm down, and also remember, fuck other people. Really, in the long run, it doesn't matter at all what they think.

Do what journalists do.... Get a pencil and bite it. Hold it there in your mouth and read a book out loud.

That'll make the muscles that make you speak clearly, much stronger and then when you take it out of your mouth, you'll feel like you can speak more clearly.

It's like what runners do when they wear ankle weights, when they take them off, they feel like they can run longer and faster :)

About the conversations thing, you can practice trying to make your "stories" more consice, beginning with the most attention grabbing information first and THEN the details. Make it consise.

I have found that there is actually ALOT to talk about... a whole range of subjects. You can even make a list if you want... and practice being smoooth when passing from one topic to another, look at how people like conan obrien and jay leno do it.

It is an art form. "So speaking of flip-flops, I heard that you like to go sunbathing once in a while, what are your favourite locations?" Seee?

So try practicing that and see how you get along (btw does anyone have a serial key for Adobe illustrator CS3?) remember that deep sea divers love to make all the mistakes in the pool before they go out to sea. ;)

hey man,
as I've worked for a matchmaking company for several months now, I've seen my fair share of beautiful socially happy people that you've described. And I'm going to give you a small yet crucial piece of truth that you've overlooked: YOU'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you think you're at college for the social interactions then go ahead and chop your balls off and get that sex change, because that'll definitely make things a whole lot easier.

With that nastiness out of the way, a lot of people have trouble being cool or fitting into the norm. And while it is essential to understand that fitting into the mold of normality is unattractive to a certain degree, diverting from the norm at great degrees is also "normal" and thus similarly unattractive.

If you really want to learn how to fit in and talk with others without having your awkwardness bleed into the conversation, the only thing to do is to go out and practice practice practice. You've got a head start in the sense that you know your weaknesses (mumbling, lack of speech skills, fear) but guess what .. other people have been able to overcome such problems and you can do it too.

I really do wish for the best in your personal improvements. I would wish you luck, but I know that luck doesn't exist. You're going to have to go out and make that inexplicable quality ring about you.

i'll hang out with you bro. lets go.

i mummble alot when i talk and i talk reallly quiet apperently... cuz ppl are always saying Huh? What? Speak up!.. and by the time i was in highschool i couldnt stand ppl saying What?? before i was even fishished talking, i get so frustrated and i dont wanna talk loud i feel like im yelling its uncomfortable cuz im realllly shy and if sumone asks me to repeat myself i usually wont cuz i get really nervous.. anyway im glad im not the only one! so u can get help for this type of stuff??

just be normal, the way you are dont fake anything or lie

You and me both.
My problem is a try so hard :(

I really don't know what to tell you except seek counseling, or find a self-help book for your particular circumstance.