I enjoy crossdressing as a serious hobby. too serious, maybe?
First off, I want to do this just because it's my first post. I'm glad I found this place. It's nice to be around possibly like-minded people who appear to not judge you TOO harshly for, well, anything at all. Hopefully this is the first post of many in a place I can see to be hugely beneficial. :)
Back on topic now (won't be a habit, don't worry). As the title states, I enjoy cross dressing a lot. It's mostly a sexual thing/turn-on, but I honestly do enjoy the change of perspective. It's so nice to turn into exactly what I love looking and seeing at so often, as well as seeing certain things from the female point of view. I have the whole 9 yards as far as accessories, and become an extremely passable woman when I dress-up, to the point where it's impossible to recognize who I am if you don't know it's me: High Heels, Simple Make-up, clothing, wigs, purses, etc. I go out on walks all dressed up to the store, mall, or just around the parts of the city I know people won't recognize me, on occasion.
Lately, for just about 2 months now, whenever I get dressed up and become that female that I am getting so good at creating, I have a ridiculously strong lust for giving a blowjob. It's pretty much becoming the major part of why I do what I do. It's almost becoming a goal as maybe a next step for my cross dressing. The goals have progressively gotten riskier, starting with getting out of my bedroom when I was younger, to telling a couple VERY close friends about it, to the 'adventures' I described earlier, and I think the sexual part is next...
That worries me. I'm not gay, I know this for a fact. I have attempted on more than one occasion, as male and 'female', to be attracted to men, and understand why I might be gay; I have tested it and am 100% sure I'm straight. However, when I get dressed up the urge just keeps coming back to give a blowjob! But the circumstances have to be laid out in a reasonably specific way. For instance; I want to be in a wide open public place, such as a department store, all dressed up and just tell a stranger I want him in my mouth in a dressing room. I don't even think I'd have to be attracted to him, it's just an intense urge.
Now I know that what I do isn't exactly normal (however you feel like defining that), but I assume that everyone here can reason with it and be understanding.
I guess the major thing I'm asking is whether or not it's normal to want what I want and feel the way I feel, even though I'm simply and surely not a homosexual, and have proven it without a doubt time and time again.