I dont feel love for the girl i am about to marry but she is hot

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18 Comments

Its my real situation and i need real answers! And i am on the verge of breaking.

I dont feel love for the girl i am about to marry but she is hot and dominating. And she also has similar feelings for me (no love but considers me a marriage material).

The problem is that she is the best option for me at present and I am the best option for her at present. And this is the only reason we are pursuing talks of our marriage!

Its not a love marriage but an arranged marriage wherein our parents had talked first before we met with each other.

The marriage is not fixed yet but i am not looking for any other matches because my conscience doesnt allows me to do so.

I am so confused that i dont even know what to ask?!!

But right now i am in a hell as i dont want to say no to her (just because she is hot and highly educated and earning) and at the same i am not happy with her (and she too).

what i really want is a girl who may not be as hot but is same as her in other areas and also loves me and i also have loving feeling for her. But i have been talking to girls (one at a time) as per parents consent and have never been able to find such a one!

So this is the situation. So what is the best way out of this so that i come out happy in the end or have hopes of a happy married life?

regards,

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 60 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • moomus
    11 years ago | pl

    Don't marry her. You already said she's not what you want. It will be a mistake. Marriage is meant to be for life so why settle for second best?

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    • vikar
      11 years ago

      Dear Moomus, am grateful for the comment. Thanks a lot!
      If i say no to her , there will be unpleasant consequences, besides right now me and her are having the best possible options with us! so if i leave her, am not sure i will be able to get a girl at least as good as her and same applies to her too (as far as i observerd her thoughts about me)

      now what to do?

      regards,

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      • Isitnormal?:-)
        11 years ago

        Look you need to end it life isnt a stupid movie but think about it talk to her....Is she worth it cause in 20 years shes goinng to have wrinkles and grey hairs and your not going to "love" her anymore a real couple loves eachother for every scar and gray hair and beautiful heart This girl is obviously just as bad as you im not sure if you to deserve any one else all those unhappy consequences are going to be over fast but this heartless marriage will haunt you for the rest of your life! In the end you'll probably have a divorce where inwhich one of you to cheat on eachother and your going to feel betrayed but all in this case she thinks is that she betrayed the marriage not you....YOu need to decide is the rest of your life worth her looks? I mean once your married there is no going back ur hers and shes urs its over no more freedom but when real people fall in love thety dont care all they want is eachother!

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    you know the real funny thing about this whole story is? The funny thing is that this marriage is one that will probably work out if they do get married, as they will grow to love each other or something, and other people who profess "great" love for one another and seem so happy on their wedding days, last less then 5 years or whatever and end up divorced.

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    This is a bad idea. Don't marry someone if the only quality you can mention is their looks. You don't love her and she doesn't seem to love you either. Look for love elsewhere.

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  • moomus
    11 years ago

    There may be unpleasant consequences if you say no, but don't you think things will be even worse if you marry someone you don't love? You will end up going through a divorce or spending the rest of your life unhappy. Same goes for her. And what if mrs right comes along? You may resent your wife or end up having an affair and the marriage breaking down anyway.

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Please do not marry a woman that you have no mutual feelings for. Do you think that could possibly work out? It would be a horrible mistake in my opinion.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    if you don't love each other than what exactly are you expecting to hold your relationship together?

    cos once you hit bad times - cos you will, it happens to everyone - then what will hold you together?

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  • vikar
    11 years ago

    Finally we broke up yesterday night... phew.. i am feeling kind of relieved and hoping it goes on smoothly in the time to come...
    now my search for a girl to marry resumes ...

    thanks to all u people for sharing ur thoughts and time!!

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  • foxyk
    11 years ago

    BAD IDEA....i say do not marry someone u don't have love for. seems like u two are only together because of looks, and maybe sex too? yeah it would be a mistake

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Learn to love. Give it time

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  • vikar
    11 years ago

    Thanks all! Gathering everybody's point of view i note the following:
    1. I can keep looking for better option as i am not committed to her (no ceremony has taken place yet).. ignoring my guilt conscience..
    2. I will keep meeting her and talking to her for as long as possible untill i get some feelings for her Or i gather the courage to say no or she gathers the courage to say no to me..
    3. btw i am 28 and she is 26 yr old..
    4. I really hate the idea of divorce and thats why i am investing so much thoughts in deciding for the right girl. I dread divorce. I just wanto marry only once for lifetime.
    5. I also think my problem may lie in my wish to make my marriage/girl to be perfect.I mean in order to make it perfect, i am wanting everything (looks,money,attitude,love,family,peace of mind etc).. Is my approach wrong?
    I really wanto make a "logical conclusion" before i decide for marriage. I just want to make it perfect somehow..
    6. Is there any diversion i can take to stop getting tensed about this whole issue? I am a non smoker and non drinker..

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Don't write her off immediately, perhaps try a long engagement, and ask her if you can date others as well. Maybe you two can grow to love each other, or maybe you two are destined to be with someone else. It takes time for any relationship to form.

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  • IIN2?uestionlife
    11 years ago

    If you guys dont love each other then save yourself a divorce and do what makes you happy and fullfiled.

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  • happyman
    11 years ago

    if i was you i would not marry her or at least postpone the wedding and just be a couple for a bit and hope u get feelings if u dont then i can only suggest one other option DITCH HER,DITCH HER FOREVER, [ECHO] EVEr EVer Ever ever eve ev e........ [ sorry im ina echo mood]

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    • vikar
      11 years ago

      Thanks! i think its best if i postpone the wedding until i get feelings for her or she for me! This seems the only positive effort that i can make in this direction. In the meantime, is it ok if i continue my search for girls for marriage? i feel guilty about it.

      regards, Thanks in advance for anybody replying to this!!

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      • joybird
        11 years ago

        Do not marry this girl until you have dated for at least 5 years.

        Anyhow, I am sure that you are not a 60 year old man who has searched for love his whole life and is now ready to settle for someone/anyone to marry! So why the rush? Men can have children even when they are pensioners.

        Either you or her, will fall in love with someone when you least expect it - and dump the other! So it's better that you two split without the additional problem of divorce and/or children.

        You are able to keep looking around for someone as long as you are not actually married. You don't love her anyway, so you've no real loyalty to her :(

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      • happyman
        11 years ago

        well its best not to search for other people while about to marry, but if u want to search for other people to marry u might want completely cancel the wedding because then if you do ind some one better u can not worry about the wedding.

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