I don't want to live any more but i don't want to kill myself

55% Normal
11 Comments

I'm sort of waiting for a hit-and-run to mow me down now at any moment.

Secretly hoping that that lump on my body turns out to be an incurable cancer so I can just check out.

If any human life can be said to be viable or unviable, then I'm nothing but a drain on the world. I've had my chance and I've blown it. There's no future for me now outside this grim trajectory I've set up for myself. I'm working for no person but myself. At 31, I might as well peg it. I'm not good for anything anymore.

I want to be loved; nobody will do that, and I need to be able to work and support myself and if things continue this way I won't be able to.

Speed on, old death-truck. I don't know where I'm going to get the energy from to continue any more.

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 20 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • noid
    3 years ago

    Definitely not cancer that is not a good way to go.

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  • DADNSCAL
    3 years ago

    Please seek mental health help asap. Your situation isn’t hopeless, but you’re not going to get any better on your own. Btw, I was in your place at about 26, when a friend told me what I’m telling you, and it was life changing.

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  • JellyBeanBandit
    3 years ago

    You should go to the doctor and tell them how you're feeling. If you feel like this you need to try everything you can to get better. Whether it's antidepressants, therapy, changing careers, charity work, finding a new hobby, making new friends, etc. But first and foremost go to the doctor.

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  • russellnb
    3 years ago

    I don't think it is normal but I think there is a lot of it around these days. I suggest you find something that really interests you, study, learn, research, practice and get to where you enjoy doing it so much you are happy with yourself. Do not wait for others to make you happy.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    Antidepressants?

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  • chuy
    3 years ago

    Welcome to the club

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  • radar
    3 years ago

    In the scheme of things 31 is a baby.

    I am trying personally to get out of the "why don't I have x, y, z" mindset, and into the "how can I get x, y, z" mindset.

    Had someone tell me once that if I didn't keep trying, I was fucked. I don't disagree with that really.

    It's hard but you have to realize at some point that it's like the saying about the monkey sticking his hand in the jar to grab the banana or whatever, and once he made the fist he couldn't get it out. These thoughts like "I suck, nobody will ever love me, I'll never succeed" etc, are the fist that can't clear the edge of the jar. It's kinda true that a) beyond a certain normal amount of uncertainty, dwelling on those things and building your personal self identity around them is pretty unattractive, and b) if you think that, you'll never be able to feel the love, success, and whatever else you actually do have already.

    You have to let it go and dump the jar out instead. Hating yourself isn't working so look for another way.

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  • Somenormie
    3 years ago

    The way you think isn't the way to go about your problem.

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  • 1WeirdGuy
    3 years ago

    Once you meet someone good you'll probably feel alot better. Keep dating around. Try something thats not a hook up app.

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  • Pilum
    3 years ago

    I know the feeling.

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  • raisinbran
    3 years ago

    Pretty much everyone feels this way.

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