I don't want to have sex with my bf anymore til marriage ♥

83% Normal
14 Comments

My current bf of 7 months was the first guy that I ever had sex with. He's had sex before I met him so I'm aware of that. Anyway, we have a lot of sex, amazing sex but lately I've been thinking that I shouldn't have sex til we get married. I know, it seems terrible because I gave it to him and now i'm taking it back. :\ but it just hit me because in a few months it's about to be our year anniversary and I feel like it's time to take some serious steps in our lives. I feel like since wedo not live together and we're not engaged..we should wait. I want him to know that I love him and it would make me really happy if he understood and did this with me. I don't know how I'm going to tell him.. I was thinking maybe I shouldn't and just do it. If he notices that I'm avoiding sex..I'll tell him. A few months ago I asked him how'd he feel if we didn't have sex anymore and he looked upset and slightly betrayed :o he said "why would you do that? especially how amazing it is?" I'm like uhh just a thought nvm." Plus, he live at home and I'm at mine, he work all week/night and we see each other every weekend. I feel like if I let him know/ do this, he will take my wishes seriously and start thinking now about our future. We talk about our future now and he tell me that he is always going to do what make me happy and make me happy and that he want to marry me. I guess i just want the process to get into act because I feel upset when I don't see him in the entire week and on weekends we have sex and he go back to his schedule and i go back to mine. We talk everyday, their has not been one day since we've been together that we ever not talk to one another :) Plus, I don't want to get pregnant either for him to get us a place and marry. I'm on birth control and we do not use contraceptives because we both agree that we do not like them. ALL of a sudden I'm having all of these life/future thoughts..is that normal?

Voting Results
83% Normal
Based on 92 votes (76 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    I think he probably will notice, and then dump you.

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  • FruityGoofyFaggot
    11 years ago

    Every single person that I knew who waited till marriage got cheated on

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    You need to communicate with him.

    Yes it's a risk - he might dump you. But he might not too.

    But if you decide to just play games, avoid sex and just hope he figures out what you want... chances are you'll make him think you're avoiding him for other reasons and he might be even MORE apt to dump you.

    Yes it's hard to open your self up but... if you expect to have a real marriage it's something you need to figure out BEFORE you tie the knot

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  • jocyjocy20
    11 years ago

    a few hours ago I just finshed talking to him. He said that he is not with me for the sex and that he just enjoy spending time with me non sexual as well. He seemed a little bummed but he saidas long as it make me happy then he'll do it. I told him that I had some ideas to compensate for sex, like taking some dance classes, camp more, and doing our hobbies together since we only have weekends together.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Well if you just stop, it's almost definitely going to start a fight, and judging by his reaction when you brought it up? He's probably gonna dump you if you do this.

    I honestly don't understand why you would care about having sex, are you christian or something? I didn't see any mention of religion in your post, so why do you care?

    I'm a girl, and I probably wouldn't date someone who never wanted to be intimate or was "saving it for marriage" on account of I won't date someone with repression issues. ;P

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  • mozzie
    10 years ago

    Oh my gosh.. this almost makes me emotional because you just described my life. What are we, twins?!

    I only see my BF once a week on the weekend and I'm going through the SAME ISSUE. Everything you said here rings precisely true for me. I'm so lost.

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  • MssMurd3r
    11 years ago

    It will have an effect on your relationship.

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  • jocyjocy20
    11 years ago

    We've moved passed that, things have changed since then. I just wanted to know if it's normal to worry still if he haven't done that anymore

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  • MssMurd3r
    11 years ago

    I read ur other story about the ps3 thing. I don't think he's right for u. U should move on.

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  • jocyjocy20
    11 years ago

    ....

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  • jocyjocy20
    11 years ago

    we had a discussion about future plans and what things are "right" to do in the best time. For a while I've been thinking that since we do not live together and we're not engaged, I want to save sex until we are in the "right" time/moment in our lives. I don't see any difference in him saving money, living with his mom, and doing what he want to build our future and me saving sex til marriage. Sex is a next step that we should do in our home and privacy.

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    I still don't understand. Why do you want to stop having sex?

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  • GuessWho
    11 years ago

    He thinks of you as nothing more than a fuck-buddy.

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  • jocyjocy20
    11 years ago

    as a guy, what would be the best solution?

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