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I understand sadism as it displays power, but I usually hear about masochism on this site and I never understood it. A lot of men apparently like to get beaten up, peed on or worse by a woman. Why is this a thing? Why do you find it hot to be a victim? Does anyone else feel the way I do?
Hi, I'm a masochist and I hope my perspective helps. Please keep in mind that I cannot and do not speak for all masochists.
I enjoy feeling pain for many reasons.
First of all, the danger gives the feeling of a rush. It's like going on a scary roller coaster. While it might seem unpleasant at first, it winds up being exciting.
Secondly, it is pain on terms I can control. Most masochists have a "safeword," a word that can be used to end the current activity if something goes wrong.
Thirdly, it has a lot to do with trust. I completely trust whoever is dominating me, and feeling that much trust for someone is almost like falling in love.
I am only one example to go by, but I certainly hope this helps. Masochism is a kink and like any kink there are multiple factors that can lead to someone enjoying it. I encourage you to do further research on this topic (you just might want to clear your browser history afterwards).
Exactly. I never understood the appeal of it until I met a Dom. Gradually he got into my head & I eventually stopped being stubborn & just let him take control of me. He tells me who I can see and punishes me if I go against his rules, but the act of relinquishing all control is very liberating. My Dom has helped me so much as he stops me every time I go to put myself down. Trust is definitely the most important factor. It takes me ages to trust anyone but now I realize my Master somehow knows me better than I know myself and he only does what’s best for me.
its a fetish, i cant understand the foot fetish just the same you dont understand masochism, i mean, the closest thing to compare masochism is rough sex.
also, a reminder that women can also be masochistic.
btw, maybe you should change the topic to discusion instead of normal or not normal
I'm a Domme/sadist. My husband/sub is a masochist. According to him, it is the most freeing experience in the world to just give up all sense of control and just be used. For many men, it's the only time when they are able to completely let go and just be. He gets pleasure and comfort from not being in control and being able to trust me to that extent. It's an outlet and for many, a way to release tension and stress in an extremely erotic and exciting way.
As with most things sexual, it's complicated, and the underlying reasons aren't the same for everyone.
One classic example of masochism that seems odd on the surface (but is understandable if you think about it) is the typical Type A business executive who gets off on being dominated by a dominatrix. He spends all his professional life being in charge of people and having to make decisions that will come back and smack him in the head if he gets it wrong. He quite possibly has a wife who he's chosen because she's subservient to him, and maybe tries to micromanage the lives of his children. However, when he's with the dominatrix, all that disappears, and totally giving up all control for an hour or two is a huge relief and allows him to release a lot of tension.
As I said, there are a range of reasons why being restrained, and experiencing physical pain or emotional anguish pushes some people's buttons. I'm not wired that way, so I can't speak from personal experience.
For me, it's not about the pain. I don't physically enjoy pain, it's more mental. I do, however, LOVE to serve. I like the power exchange that comes with S/M. I don't think of it as myself being a victim. It's more like, this is something this guy likes and i'm his outlet, he's using me to relieve this urge. It feels so special to be used, to me.
Some people enjoy being dominated or under control. Some people like being leaders, some people like to be followers. This usually correlates with an interest in pain, humiliation, etc.
For me, masochism gives pleasure when pain, humiliation or dominance is applied by someone I adore, worship, love, admire or respect.