I don't think childhood should be a time of carefree innocence

A lot of people want their children to grow up in a happy, carefree environment and bring them up to see the world as a
Disney movie. I don't want to. If I have a child, I want to show them the good AND bad in the world. I want them to see
the beauty of the world much (like most parents would), but on top of that, I want to expose to them how cruel and vicious the world can be and teach them to cope. I want them to enjoy playing in the sun, as well as learning to fight in the darkness.

I don't think children should grow up in playful, carefree innocence. I want the world to batter them a bit, so that they become more resistant as they grow older. I don't want them to grow to be stone cold and hard as rock, but I want them to grow some callouses. I don't want to defer telling them how horrible the world can be until they are adults. Granted, I don't think little kids can cope with a slew of the world's worst horrors slapping them at once. That would be like releasing Terry Crews on a hemophiliac baby. Rather, I want to introduce them to the horrors of the world when it's time.

If you have studied The Catcher In The Rye, you would know how Holden Caufield imagines childhood as kids playing in the rye where the grass hides a cliff and adulthood as a plunge off the cliff hidden by the grass of happiness, and how he wishes to be that catcher who prevents the kids from falling off the cliff. If I were to adapt this metaphor to my wishes, I'd mow the lawn, show my child the cliff and teach him/her how to use scaling equipment as early as possible, so that they descend into adulthood in the least shocking and painful way. In other words, I want to raze their illusion of a happy, carefree world as early as possible, and fill their childhood up with concern (but not anxiety or worry). I don't want to strive to make my kids' childhoods their happiest times of their lives (but if it happens to be, there's nothing wrong with that). I don't want their childhoods to be any better or worse than their adulthood will be. The happiest times of their lives should be up to them to create. I don't want them to consistently reminisce on how their childhood was so happy and how adulthood sucks in comparison. I'm not saying they shouldn't reminisce on childhood at all, but I want them to see the world as it is so that they don't fall into a state of shock and disillusionment when they see the cruelty of the world, like many young adults are today.

Of course, I'm not going to focus on and bombard them only with the negative, because that would make them grow up to be cynical and overly pessimistic, and have little desire to help. I want their childhood to be both tears and cheers so that they have a more realistic approach to real life. I want to train them to understand the world as a place of kindness and cruelty, so that at age 10 or so they can say "No duh" when they are told about how cruel humans can be, rather than just when told how kind we can be. I don't want to train them to be apathetic of the horrors of the world, but I want them to get exposed to it early on. I personally think that anyone who makes their kid's childhood a time of carefree play is doing it wrong.

Is it normal to think childhood shouldn't be carefree?

Voting Results
68% Normal
Based on 22 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 21 )
  • dom180

    Well no childhood is carefree. Every child in the world already has that understanding. Childhood is immensely stressful no matter how much you wrap a kid in cotton wool. You don't have to show a kid cruel and beautiful things - they will see them for themselves no matter what.

    I would be wary of trying to desensitize kids and remove the shock value of powerful stimuli. Shock is a very valuable feeling. Horrors in the world *should* be met with shock. If our society has any problems with shock, I think it's that people are not shocked *enough* by cruelty.

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    • I don't want to completely desensitize them to it. I will train them to offer help to those in need. At the same time, I don't want them to completely feel like it is surprising. A mother doesn't feel shocked when a child burns his/her hand on a stove, but she will rush to help.

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  • LifeTheRide

    No, not normal. It's hard enough to be alive on this planet. The least everyone should have is a happy, carefree childhood. It's tough being an adult and kids shouldn't hate being kids too. Let them enjoy the years of no responsibility. They only get 17 years of it. Let them figure out life and it's important lessons themselves. We always do. Even if it means getting knocked down into the dirt. It just means you got to stand back up and continue forward.

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    • sega31098

      No responsibility at 17? lol

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      • LifeTheRide

        Why not? They're still minors and most 17-yr-olds are still in high school.

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        • By 17 many teens are getting jobs, having relationships, can go to jail, worry about getting raped, and such.

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          • LifeTheRide

            Well, I still think they shouldn't have to worry about stuff like that. Those shouldn't be concerns until they're like, 20. The only thing they should be worrying about is getting their education and spending time with their friends.

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            • sega31098

              Unfortunately, those have always been concerns for anyone over the age of 14.

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  • reminiscent

    I dont know if this is normal but I dont really agree...im not sure how young you are talking to expose them to things?

    But I dont think you understand how life will all on its own teach them lessons over time...death of a pet. ..parents splitting up...moving to a new place...children being meen...l oosing a friend... and so on.
    you should be the happy point in you kids life (im not saying baby them)...making sure they experience the magic in life...because everyone else will show them hard times.

    Sure you help teach them life lessons ... but you dont add unnecessary hardship just because you dont think they can see the cliff.

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    • As early as it is possible to expose them to it without causing them trauma. I wouldn't talk to a 5 year old about rape obviously. Children may be treated like royalty, but even kings fought in battle. Similarly, I think childhood should also be a time to train for battle, and even fight in actual battles (metaphorically of course), but at the same time, they should be given priority defense and care in the battlefield. At the same time, I think throwing unnecessary and unbeneficial hardships at them is a terrible idea, too.

      By the way, I actually do not have a kid yet so you don't need to worry.

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  • thegypsysailor

    We all get heaps and heaps of bad laid on us as we grow up, so why rush it? Preteens deserve a little carefree fun and every parent should do their best to see this happens.
    What you propose will probably create a monster of some kind or a person so full of all the horrors of life, that they won't make it past 20 before offing themselves.

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    • I wasn't saying they should always focus on the horrors of the world, or get heaps of bad laid on them at once. Everyone deserves some carefree fun, adult and child. The point is that I don't want their childhood to be completely carefree and innocent, but that doesn't mean I want them to constantly worry and show them pics of rape.

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  • Fall_leaves

    The hard facts of life should be learned when their old enough to understand, not before they're able to comprehend what their being told. Children don't learn the same way as adults they think differently you have to take that into consideration.

    You step in when your kids getting bullied, you protect them from as much of the bullshit this world has to offer as you can. Be thankful for your ability to offer your own children a better childhood, be thankful for everything you have because there are people who wish every day for that chance.

    Raise them to be resilient, grateful, loving, and to be thinkers. We need people in this world with compassion and courage to do something great for the good of others. At the end of the day, the lessons are learned when their away from your teachings, when their out there in the world discovering for themselves everything it has to offer. Just give them memories, that's all you can offer them give them memories they can hold onto when your gone. Your sons first fishing trip with you or your daughters first dance with her father, love them. Be their role model.

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    • "The hard facts of life should be learned when their old enough to understand, not before they're able to comprehend what their being told."

      That's why I said that I wouldn't throw everything at them at once. That would be like releasing Terry Crews onto a hemophiliac baby. I said I would prefer to expose them to the world as early on as possible when they can cope (but not too early).

      And don't worry, I'll step in if they're getting bullied, as well as teach them compassion.

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  • I think I understand what you are saying.
    I was aware of the extent of human cruelity from an early age. I didn't have abusive parents, but I heard the stories and had other experiences.
    The world has always been a horrifying place to me.
    I think it did make me stronger in a way because I was never naive and always saw the world for what it is. I have no problem thinking for myself and questioning everything.
    At the same time you shouldn't force those things by on someone by cruelty or abuse, but teach them the truth instead. Most things will reveal what they are on their own with time.

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  • Freedom_

    The amazing thing about children is that they don't view negative situations the same way adults do. Their fresh point of view could be something you could learn from. There is no need to adjust the balance of negative forces in their life when you have no idea what's going to happen in the future, what life already has in store for them (or you for that matter).

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  • handsignals

    Please don't have children, they will grow up to be serial killers.

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    • How so?

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  • deepthought33

    I'm having a hard time stepping into that world you mentioned where parents make sure their children's life is all butterflies and rainbows. I don't think many parents manage such an idyllic experience for their children. Mine wasn't and my son's isn't either...crap happens and children will not be blind to it.

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  • Nokiot9

    Too many people baby their kids. It's why we have a generation of slobs that expect everything to be handed to them. The generation of entitlement.

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  • Darkoil

    I completely agree. Sitting down and watching cartoons and being in la la land all day is not helping children one bit, no wonder there are so many fucking retards about.

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